Try (Again)

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters used in this story. I also do not own any artwork that may eventually be used, or the title of the story itself, which comes instead from a wonderful song by Namoli Brennet.

Chapter 1: Fate

Not once in Mello's entire life had he ever thought he would see this moment. In a single second, everything he had ever gone through, from suffering through the death of L, facing the horrors of the Mafia, and even losing the battle for Kira to Near… it all paled in comparison to the words being spoken to him over the phone now.

"I… I'm sure you're quite busy." Roger's weary voice started again after the momentary pause, his words strained with the tension of a man who was consciously aware of his own guilt in their relationship over the last ten years. Radio silence. The moment Mello had stepped foot off Wammy's property he had ceased to be the concern of Roger, or everyone else from the institution. Well… almost everyone. But now this? "I need you to come back to Wammy's."

Anything Mello could have possibly formulated as a response became tangled in the folds of his mind's shock at Roger's gall. Was he really doing this? Now? "Excuse me?" He finally forced out in a heavy, frustrated breath. Mello stood from where he'd been sitting to cross the space of his apartment, coming to stand at one of the windows, his attention entirely focused upon the subtle static emitted from the other end of the line.

Every fiber of Mello's being screamed that he should hang up. Every sense in his body justified that neither Roger, nor anything involving Wammy's was worth his time or attention anymore. He'd moved on, and so had they. Yet still he held the phone to his ear, waiting. Because despite how bitter he felt, despite how betrayed he felt merely hearing his voice, there was a familiar, haunting tone residing in Roger's voice. He'd heard that tone before…

… Back when L had died.

"If you could find the time to come back to Wammy's for just a little while. If I'm to be perfectly honest, things… have not been going well." There was a heavy exhale, "Near is not doing well."

Mello's grip tightened on the phone. Of course this had to do with him. He'd been an idiot for even humoring the idea that Roger would ever call him about anything else. "Do you honestly think that I would ever go back there because things aren't going well for him?" Clearly ten years of silence had taken a toll on Roger's memory. "Good fucking riddance! He can go-"

"Mello."

"No. What the hell would make you think for one second I would deal with him?"

"Mello, you don't understand-"

"No, you don't understand-"

"Near tried to kill himself." Roger's firm voice broke in.

Everything in Mello's world screeched to a halt. Suddenly the only thing that existed to him was Roger on the other end of the line, and those words which burrowed deep into his chest. "What?" He finally exhaled.

"It happened two days ago. He hasn't said a single word to anyone since then. Mello, I understand both of your history together better than most, but… you must understand that if there's anyone who could for sure pull something out of him, it's you." He paused before adding, "If you would do this for me, I would be immensely grateful."

Mello's hold over the phone remained a vice grip while he tried to process everything that was being placed upon his shoulders. One thing was clear to him above all else: This wasn't about Near. Getting Mello's help wasn't about helping Near. It was a means of saving Roger's investment; to ensure the continuation of their work and the L name. Mello was the wrench that ensured the gear in the larger system continued to turn. The fact that Roger made no measure to hide that fact sent fire through his veins and again he humored the idea of hanging up.

But those words… They hung over him like a black cloud. Near was the absolute last person Mello would ever think prone to such destructive actions. So what happened? What pushed him to the edge and finally over it? What had been going through his head to justify such a thing? But more importantly was the question of what exactly Near's external reality had become which could foster such an option, much less make it seem viable to him.

"I'm not agreeing to anything." He finally replied. "If I were you I wouldn't hold my breath. But I know where Wammy's is if I decide to come to your damn aid."

He hung up. His arm dropped down to his side, but he couldn't bring himself to move away from the window. What was he going to do about this? What was he to think about the institution that had raised him, and then cast him out, suddenly seeking his help?

In the next moment, there was a shifting movement from the other side of the room. "So, what's going on?" Matt's voice spoke up from where he sat on the couch surrounded by laptops, yet with his nose practically pressed against a handheld game screen. In the midst of his world being thrown just slightly off its axis Mello had almost forgotten that the redhead was even in the room.

He finally turned and went back to the chair he'd been sitting in before, his thoughts pulling apart the knots of all his options. "I guess things haven't been going well for Near as L." He said distractedly. Although Roger hadn't explicitly said it, that seemed to be the only logical explanation for why Near would make such a drastic move. But that only raised more questions.

"So?" Matt asked, resting back and mashing buttons on his game.

Mello's look flicked over to him from where he had previously been staring blankly out at nothing, "Roger wants my help."

Matt glanced up at him momentarily, "Right, because that idea has gone over so well in the past."

"No, it's not like that." He shook his head, "This… this is different." He muttered vaguely and almost to himself. As much as he wanted a bit of insight into what he should do in this situation, it simultaneously didn't feel right to put the whole truth out there. Even to Matt.

Matt paused once more, sensing his friend's unease, "So… are you going to go?"

"I don't know." He admitted in an exhale, unable to shake the looming feeling in his chest that no matter what he could figure for himself, there was still something else behind the scenes that Roger wasn't telling him.

"Why not?" Matt responded with a shrug. "Wouldn't this sort of be their way of admitting even a fraction of defeat? Sure, you still might not be L, but clearly Near's seriously screwed something up to the point that rather than seeking any outside help, they're coming to you. Besides, Mels, I've never known you to pass up an opportunity to rub any sort of victory in Near's face."

Mello was silent, his look trained on Matt. Matt had a point, in his own way… Regardless of what had happened to Near specifically, something external had pushed him to the point where there was no other option. To say that Mello wasn't curious to know what it was would be a lie.

If Near had failed at something and now Mello was the one who had to fix the mistakes for once… who was to say he hadn't in some way won? And at the end of the day, every win deserved its own moment of celebratory victory. And as Matt said, he was never one to pass up such an opportunity.

"Well since you put it that way…" He finally said, "I never thought I'd say this, but it looks like I'm going back to Wammy's."

A/N: This fic came to me at the recommendation of someone on tumblr, and though I know it's not exactly the story(-ies) everyone probably has been waiting for, I simply can't pass over such an excellent idea as investigating what would happen if Near didn't actually do well as L. So I figured I would start this, and post to it when I can and see where it takes me. I know that this is just an introduction and provides very little, but regardless I would still appreciate hearing any comments you may have so far.

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-Forbiddensoul562