First thing I've ever written for this fandom, and I sorta love it. It's a drabble from Sam's perspective-just something that came to mind one day.
No spoilers here (especially considering I'm still on the sixth season...) -it's set in a pre-show universe.
Hope that you like it :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural! And I never will-but that is okay.
If there was one thing that Sam Winchester wanted in life, it was for the chance to be normal. No, scratch that. There was a lot that he wanted in life; for his mom to be alive, for his dad to be what he knew he could be, underneath all that alcohol ridden, guilt fueled angst, for his brother to not have to be his protector every second of every day. He deserved to be like any other twenty-two year old out there—in college, studying for tests and partying it up all weekend long. Dean deserved so much more than being the boy who never had any other choice in life than being both parent and older brother to Sam.
These feelings had always lurked under the surface, pushed aside and ignored so that he could pretend for just a bit longer that he was actually happy where he was. With how his life was. But as the years wore on it became harder and harder to do so; though he hated the way they lived and how it made him feel, it was his brother that made him yearn for a normal life so intensely. Dean had no one to share his burdens with—his fears, his wants, his needs; he had such a heavy burden placed on his shoulders and Sam knew he would never share it with him—or their father—no matter how badly he may wish to.
Sam knew that if need be he could tell Dean anything. He knew that his brother would drop everything if his little brother needed him, and it was that knowledge that helped to drive him to really try and leave. It was not the entire reason, no; his conversation with his teacher about escaping the family business certainly helped to motivate him. He wanted so much more out of life than hunting could give him, and was so tired of never having a real home, of always being on the move.
Whenever John was home now, all they did was butt heads, more than they ever had before. Dean was stuck in the middle, something Sam hated but could not control. There wasn't much more of this he could take. Slowly but surely, he was distancing himself from his family, just waiting for that day he could leave…start over…
And though he had a strong feeling he would never see his brother again, Sam also knew he would never regret it.
So, how did you like it? Let me know in a review? :)
Thanks for reading!