Raising a Girl
A/N: This one-shot takes place in the Growing Up universe- the summer in between And the Greatest of these is Love and Growing Up, (the summer after second year), but can be read on its own. If you like it, check out my other stories on the author's page. Warning: this does contain references to girl matters (ie: times of the months) and few smacks...thanks to my reviewers who encouraged me to write this!
Disclaimer: the amazing Severus Snape and Harry Potter universe belongs to JK Rowling...
Sarah Black was having a horrid week. Ever since she returned home, there seemed to be one frustration after another.
The night they arrived back at Snape Manor, Snape had sat her down for a long awaited discussion about her behavior at the end of the term. She had helped Ron and Harry in the Chamber of Secrets save Ginny's life, but in doing so, risked her own. Granted, Sarah knew this was coming, but it still annoyed her that days had past and Snape had remained quiet, only to bring everything up once they were home. Home was supposed to be a happy place, but to her, it seemed that Snape wanted to make it miserable. And that annoyed her. This annoyance produced an attitude that one didn't really want to have with Snape when he was disciplining you.
"I don't see why we have to discuss this" Sarah sighed heavily. "Why now? You had 5 days to lecture me and you wait until our first night home?"
Snape's hand remained firmly on her knee, applying a steady pressure. "When I choose to discipline you or have a discussion with you is my prerogative as your father. For your information, I was too angry with you to do so when we were still at Hogwarts. But now we are here, I'm ready to talk and you will listen to what I have to say"
Sarah thought Snape was being quite unfair. She didn't know what it was but the whole discussion was making her so angry right now; angry and frustrated.
"What if I don't want to listen?" she grumbled, crossing her arms.
Severus titled his head. Yes, his niece was often quite a handful, but this attitude was something he hadn't seen lately- in fact, not since he had first taken guardianship of her.
"Have you not found, Sarah Grace, in the past two years that I have been your guardian that it is best not to approach these times with an attitude?" He squeezed her knee.
"Agh" Sarah let out a frustrated groan, and tried to wiggle out of Severus's grasp, but Severus only released her knee long enough to give a stinging smack to her leg which stilled her instantly. Outraged at being treated like a five year old, Sarah hissed, "You make me so mad sometimes I just want to scream at you"
Severus's gaze was steady. "I would strongly advise you against that" he responded, dryly.
Sarah sulked, but didn't dare carry out on our threat. "Fine" she whispered. "Go ahead...but I'm not really listening, you know?
Severus raised his eyebrow and smacked her leg again.
"Ouch!" Sarah reached to rub the sting out. "Why do you always have to be so mean?"
"Are you listening?" Snape asked, coolly.
"Yes, yes" she grumbled quickly. " I'm listening"
"Good...now about the whole putting your life in danger yet again..."Snape proceed with his lecture. Twenty minutes later, Sarah knew she was grounded for two weeks, got two swats to her leg for good measure (telling her the next time she did something like that, there would be more than just swats) and had to write 400 lines of "I won't put my life in danger" starting tomorrow. She shrugged him off when he tried to give her a hug and told him that she absolutely did not want to be tucked in. She went off to her room to pout.
Severus let out his breath. "What was that about?" he muttered. This was shaping up to be a great summer vacation.
The next morning proved to be a continuation of the night before much to Sev's chagrin. He had never seen Sarah this moody, picky, ready to meltdown over every little thing.
She sulked at breakfast at having to eat oatmeal and fruit saying that she wanted toast and jam. Severus blinked at her request.
"When have you ever cared about what you eat for breakfast?" he asked her, unable to keep the sharp edge out of his tone.
"I care" Sarah crossed her arms. "I often just don't show it"
Severus rolled his eyes and told her to eat her breakfast. Sarah did so, but not before she clanged her bowl down hard on the table.
He sent her upstairs to get her dressed and she came down in jeans and a too tight shirt that she knew he wouldn't approve of.
His eyebrow shot right up. "Go change"
"Why?" Sarah put a hand on her hip. "What's wrong with it?"
"It's too tight" Severus responded, struggling to keep his temper.
"Are you saying it makes me look fat?" Sarah snapped at him, pout forming.
"Oh, for Merlin's sake" Severus muttered. "Just go to your room and start your lines"
She stomped back up the stairs and slammed the door.
Severus shook his head. This was going to stop and stop now. He made his way up the stairs, knocked on her door and let himself in.
"Did you just slam the door?" his voice was low and Sarah knew she was in trouble.
"Yeah, I did" She plopped back down on her bed and crossed her arms stubbornly. "So, what?"
In one swift sweep, Snape turned her over and gave her two sharp smacks that stung quite miserably. Turning her so she was sitting back up, he leaned down to look at her sternly. He grasped her chin and added, "If you insist on keeping up this attitude, you will make a trip over my knee in the near future, understand?"
Sarah's lip began to quiver and she sniffled. "Got it"
"See that you do" Severus squeezed her shoulder. "Now get started on those lines"
Severus left her alone. Sarah knew she should get started right away on her lines, but she had the sudden urge just to curl up on her bed and sleep. And that is what she did. When she woke up an hour later, she had realized that she hadn't done any lines.
"Oh no, no no!" she struggled to take a breath, panic forming. She knew she was in for it, unless she could act quickly. She shuffled through her school trunk to find the book on charms that Hermione had loaned her. Looking in the index, she found the page for a copying charm. Snape wouldn't know the difference right? Thankful that charms was one of her good subjects, she wrote one line and then cast the charm. 50 lines appeared after that. Sarah sighed, relieved.
Soon after, she heard a knock on her door. Shoving her wand underneath her bedspread, she quickly hopped back up to sit at her desk.
Snape opened the door. "How are you progressing?" he asked as he stepped in.
"Great!" Sarah smiled at him. "50 lines..see?" She handed her parchment to Sev who studied it quite intently.
He looked up, frowned at her, and looked back down at the parchment. When, he looked back up, his eyes were dark. "You have about 5 seconds to tell me the truth"
"Ok, ok" Sarah held up her hands. "I used a copying charm. I fell asleep and knew I was already in some trouble and I had this idea..."
"To lie to me?" Snape growled and shook his head. His look was stormy as he sat on the bed and crooked his finger, beckoning her to him. "Have you not learned anything?"
Sarah backed up into her chair. "Just don't spank me, ok?" Her lip began to tremble again as tears formed in her eyes.
Severus raised an eyebrow at her. "Don't you think you deserve it?" he asked, quietly.
That question seemed to break her as her sobs overcame her. "I know I am a bother...I wish Tom Riddle would have just killed me in the Chamber, then you wouldn't have to put up with me. Isn't that what you want?"she accused, fisting her hands.
Severus stared at the hysterical, irrational child. What was going on? It wasn't even like she was the same child-they had moved past these tantrums quite a while ago. Yes, Sarah still often got in trouble, but she never fought him like this. Severus grew worried. Did something happen on the train? Was she under some sort of curse?
"Sarah Grace!" Severus admonished sharply, folding his hands.
"I know you think it's complete rubbish" Sarah sobbed. "But it is how I am feeling!"
Sighing heavily, Snape crossed the room to grab her hand. Leading her back to her bed, he pushed her down gently to sit at the bottom of it. "Where is this coming from?" he asked, still holding her hand.
"I have no idea" Sarah continued to cry as she dropped her head on his shoulder, his shirt becoming wet with her tears. Strangely, Severus believed her. Against his better judgement, he didn't spank her. Instead, he added extra lines to her assignment and insisted that she lay down for a longer nap. He only hoped when she woke up, she would be back to herself.
The next morning, Sarah seemed to be in a better mood. He had assigned her extra defense reading and they were discussing it when Sarah asked, rather shyly, if they could take a break for her to use the loo. Severus, of course, allowed it without question, but he had grown concerned when he realized that she had been gone for quiet a while.
He knew he should check on her to make sure she wasn't ill. He knocked on the door to her room- no answer. He crossed the room to knock on the door of the attached lavatory.
"Everything ok?" he asked, trying to keep his voice patient.
"Um...yeah" Sarah replied, a bit hesitantly.
"Well, are you done?" Severus asked, annoyance creeping into his tone.
A pause. "Yeah, kind of" she replied, her voice shaky.
"So, are you coming out?" he asked, tapping his fingers against the door frame.
Another pause, which had Snape wondering what in the world could be going on.
"Um, no" she replied as she sunk down against the edge of her bathtub. She had no idea what to do, but Snape interrogating her from the other side of the door was not helping.
"No?" Severus leaned against the door. "Why not?" he was at a loss. First yesterday and now this...really, he did think she must be under some sort of curse- she was definitely not herself.
Sarah's face flamed as she took a breath. She might as well just come out and say it...I mean, she was behind a locked door so she really didn't have to face Snape right away. And she didn't have a choice- she ransacked all the cabinets and she couldn't find what she needed...and she clearly needed it. She was going to call Wiggles, but Snape got here first and either way, he was going to demand an explanation. She frowned as the cramps she had earlier intensified with the stress- at least now she knew what it was from.
"Sarah Grace" Severus snapped. "I'm counting to three and then you can either come out or tell me what is wrong...one...two..."
"I'm having girl problems" Sarah said in a rush as she leaned her face against the bathtub and waited.
Severus stilled. He knew this was coming one day, but so soon? And he was hoping, she would be at Hogwarts under Minerva's care when it did. That's how it was supposed to work. Then Minerva could have told him and he could have found a way to let Sarah discreetly know that he knew. Awkward yes, but not this awkward. Still, he had to occasionally deal with these issues before with his Slytherins...he could do certainly do it with his adopted daughter. The key is to remain calm.
"Are you quite certain?" he asked, trying in earnest to soften his tone.
"Um, either that or I'm dying" Sarah retorted, sarcastically.
"Black!" Snape barked at her.
"Yes, Uncle Sev...I'm pretty sure" Sarah sighed. "Um...I need stuff...and I looked all through the cabinets and I can't find anything. Can you get me what I need, please?"
Severus frowned. "Stay there" he commanded as he went downstairs. Throwing in the floo powder, he called "Narcissa!"
A few seconds later, Cissy came to the fireplace. "Sev, what is it?"
"Sarah is having girl issues for the first time and we are woefully unprepared" he explained to his friend. "Please save me. I really don't want to go to the store for it"
"I'll see what I can do" Narcissa laughed at his desperation. "I don't think I have what she needs right now, but I will apparate to the store and pick some up...I'll also find pain reliever that should help too"
It took what seemed like forever, but finally there was a knock on the door.
Narcissa smirked at him as she handed him a bag. "You know this is definitely beneath me to be an errand girl"
Snape allowed her inside and Narcissa settled on the couch in the sitting room.
"I just thought you would have what she needed..." Snape shrugged. "You are a woman after all..."
"Hum...how should I put this delicately?" Narcissa crossed her legs and placed her hand on her knee. "I don't think she should use what I use on her first time...unless you want to explain it to her how it works- it's a bit more complicated...why, Sev, I don't think I have ever seen you blush before" she laughed.
Snape's face had turned red. "Narcissa, behave, please" he grumbled.
Cissy raised an eyebrow. "So, are you going to give it to her?"
Suddenly, Sev had an idea. Of course, it was brilliant. Narcissa could handle it. "Could you now that you are here?" he tried not to sound too desperate.
"Oh no" Narcissa shook her head. "You can handle this on your own. You wouldn't want her to think you are embarrassed by it. You aren't, are you?"
"No, not at all" he grumbled. "Will you stay for tea?"
"I'll call Wiggles for it" Cissy to him. "Go on, Sev..." she encouraged, biting her lip to try to contain her laughter.
He ran back up the stairs and knocked on her door. "Open the door a bit, so I can hand you the package" he instructed.
Sarah obeyed and stuck out her hand. He placed it in it and Sarah closed the door.
Sev waited, rather anxiously. "Make sure to read the directions on the package"
She giggled before she could help herself. "I think I can handle it, Uncle Sev"...but then she crinkled her nose. "Um...oh, bother..."
Snape cringed. What now? he thought.
"I don't have my wand" Sarah mumbled through the door..."but I need clean knickers..."
Rolling his eyes, Sev walked over to her dresser and pulled her out a clean pair and handed it to her through the crack. Then he sat on the side of her bed and waited.
A few minutes later and Sarah opened the door slowly. She stepped out, pale-faced, a hand over her stomach.
"I'm sorry" she whispered, avoiding his eyes. "You must wish I was a boy right now"
Severus couldn't deny the thought had crossed his mind while he waited.
"Hmm" he took her hand and pulled her to sit down next to him on her bed. "Do you feel unwell?"
"Yeah, it hurts here" Sarah admitted, moving her hand down to show him where it hurt. She crinkled her nose. "This is horrible"
"Here" Severus moved to allow her to lay down. He reached to pull a blanket over her. He reached in his pocket for the vial of potion that Narcissa had brought. "Drink this. It should help. We will have to brew more later today when you are feeling better"
Sarah gulped the potion and it did help some. "Thanks..." she rolled to her side and curled her legs up against her, trying to get comfortable. Her hands were still on her stomach.
"Still hurts some?" Severus frowned and Sarah nodded. "Yeah..."
Snape pulled his wand out of his pocket and cast a heating charm on her stomach. "This will act as a makeshift heating pad" he explained. "it should help with the cramps"
Sarah did begin to feel more comfortable, all things considered. Severus saw her relax some, but he didn't like how she was avoiding looking at him or how pale her face was.
Severus reached to touch the side of her face, tenderly rubbing her cheek with his fingers. "You do know that it is nothing to be embarrassed about- its perfectly natural...and I did grow up with a sister"
Sarah bit her lip, but she did look at him now. "I'm still pretty mortified" Sarah admitted, her eyes meeting his. "aren't you?"
"Hmm" Snape scooted her over so he could stretch out next to her, his back against her headboard. Sarah sat up a bit so she could snuggle up beside him, Snape wrapping his arms around her shoulders.
He began to gently stroke her hair. It never ceased to amaze him that after two years of being Sarah's guardian how comfortable he had become with touch. He is usually extremely put off by it, but Sarah often needed snuggling.
"If I had the choice, I would have preferred this happen while you were at Hogwarts with Poppy or Minerva dealing with it, but it's a natural part of your growing up"
"It doesn't feel natural" Sarah grumbled.
Severus fought a smile and continued, "Remember when I took guardianship of you, I told you that we must work to become comfortable to talk about uncomfortable things? Here is one of them...there will be many others, I'm sure..." He paused and tapped her head lightly with his fingers. "The thing to remember is that you can't make me guess what is wrong with you...I would rather us both be straightforward with each other and deal with it. So, I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about this or anything else" He took a breath. "Do you have any questions about it?"
Sarah thought for a moment. "When I'm at Hogwarts, what do I do?" she asked.
"There should be what you need in the lavatory" Severus explained. "and for potions, either go see Madam Pomfrey or come to me"
"And how long should this last for?"
"Few days- 5 to 7" Severus responded as he began to relax too. "Some days will be more difficult than others..."
"So, it's ok if I bleed alot?"
"That's pretty typical from what I understand, especially when you are younger" Severus told her, his voice gentle. "But if you think it is excessive, we should probably get it looked into after some time has passed"
Sarah nodded. She paused again before saying in a small voice,"Do you wish I was a boy?"
Snape laughed. "No, Sarah Grace. I love you just the way you are"
Sarah was quiet for a few minutes and then added, "Uncle Sev?"
"Yes?" he continued to stroke her hair.
"I was pretty beastly to you yesterday" her voice was quiet. "I don't know what came over me"
"It was probably hormonal" Severus told her, matter of factly. "But we will need to attempt to control those feelings, yes?"
"Yes, sir" Sarah replied. "You will help me with that? I just felt so out of control"
"I will" Snape looked at the time. "Would you like some tea? Narcissa Malfoy is downstairs. I asked her to stay to tea"
Sarah sat up to look at him. "Why is Mrs. Malfoy here?"
Severus raised an eyebrow and Sarah chuckled. Her poor uncle had called in reinforcements.
They got up and Sarah reached to give him a hug.
"Thanks, Uncle Sev. I'm sorry to embarrass you with your friends"
Severus poked her. "Narcissa loves seeing me uncomfortable. I have no doubt that she is downstairs having a good laugh at my expense. She will probably thank you for the entertainment you provided her today"
Sarah giggled again and Sev reached to kiss her head, before releasing her. "But you are welcome, child"
They had a lovely tea with Narcissa who to Sarah's delight, didn't bring up anything that had happened, instead opting to talk about Sarah's end of the term grades and arrange for a shopping date. Narcissa went home and Snape and Sarah had a relaxing evening. It was only when Sarah went to bed that Snape sat down and poured himself some scotch.
Sipping it, he sighed. His girl was growing up and he didn't quite know how he felt about it. But he did know that he was thankful that he was able to have a part in her life. Even the ackward and uncomfortable parts. And there would be more to come...all too soon, he would have to advise her about sex...He gulped. Maybe Narcissa wouldn't mind handling that one...he would beg if necessary.
A/N: There you go...if you enjoyed check out Sarah and Snape's full story starting with "And the Greatest of These is Love"...