"I'm sorry Mrs Tilsley. He's gone..." As the words emitted from his dry mouth, my heart stopped. The pain was so strong I couldn't feel it.
There was no longer warmth. No comfort. Everything I loved was gone. You were gone. My body was numb, I just wanted to feel your touch.
I'd never feel your skin against mine again, I'd never get that feeling in my stomach when you'd walk into a room, I'd never press my lips against yours again. It was over.
My happiness destroyed in the matter of a day, the difference a day can make. The love of my life gone, you were gone. I was alone in a room full of people, nobody else mattered now you wasn't here. Tears ran so fast down my face I couldn't even feel them, I needed you to wipe them away but you couldn't.
As an arm wrapped round my shoulder and pulled me into it's grasp for a second I thought it was you. Until I looked up into their eyes. It was Michelle.
My heart broke all over again. Why did you have to go? You promised me you'd never leave me and you broke it.
As Michelle pulled onto the drive I looked up at the house we brought together. It reminded me of all the dreams and plans we had and all the promises we made to one another.
I promised you I'd choose happy, that's why I chose you, when I got pregnant you promised me you'd always be there. But now. Now I had to tell our daughter that her daddy wasn't coming home. Do you know how hard that's going to be? She's never going to understand. She'll never understand how much you loved her and how happy we were together. She'll never remember your face or seeing me happy, because I'd never be happy again. Not without you.
As I walked through to the living room and saw our wedding photo in the glass cabinet we built together my tears stopped. I picked it up and held it tight against my chest, it brought back all the memories, as I closed my eyes I could see your face. Your face and that stupid smile, the smile I use to hate but ended up falling for, I fell so hard and now I'd landed flat on my face.
Suddenly the door swung open. It was our little girl, she had your smile painted across her face and it killed me, it killed me that it was about to disappear and I'd never see it again. Like I'd never see you.
Her face dropped when I told her, just like mine did, I saw the tears stream down her face. She was broken, like I was before we got together. When you saved me, now the tables were turned and I had to save her.
You could see pain and the loss in her emerald eyes and it killed me. It killed me that you couldn't pull her into your grasp and wipe both of our tears away and tell us it was just a nightmare like you use to when I dreamt about Frank.
As she fell asleep in my arms I kissed her head and lay her down on the sofa, I walked slowly up the stairs, the stairs you use to carry me up when I fell asleep on you, the stairs you'd chased me up when we were trying for a baby. Each step hurt even more than the last.
As I reached our bedroom door I placed my hand on the handle and took a deep breath, as I walked through and I saw our bed, the cushions and blanket scrunched up after this morning.
The memory of this morning would always be in my heart, the last time we had sex, the last time you held me in your arms. The last place I was happy and felt safe.
I stepped back into the hallway and closed the door, I couldn't bring myself to go any further in. I couldn't stay in this house any longer. Not without you. This was no longer my home, my home was with you and I couldn't get there. I'd never get there. You were in heaven and I was going to hell, I'd be sat beside Frank and Tony and you'd be beside Hayley.
As I packed up mine and Becca's things I saw the shirt you wore the night I fell in love with you, the night you told me everything I wanted to hear.
'She's not you.'
I picked it up and fell to the floor, I buried my face into it and inhaled the smell, it smelt like you. I don't know why you hadn't wore it for ages, it was my most prized possession, I'd never let it go.
I stuffed it in the bag you brought me for our first Christmas together and went back downstairs to our beloved daughter, she was still asleep, you could see the tears on her cheeks from when she was crying.
I picked her up and placed her into my arms and carried her out to the car just like you did when she first came out of hospital, as I locked the front door I placed my forehead against it and held in my tears. It was the end. The end of us. The end of our happiness.