so here is the first chapter of When I Fall's sequel :) i hope you like it!!

In Your Arms

Chapter One – On Our Own

Meredith sat in her bath. Her skin was red from scrubbing, her hands and toes wrinkled, and the water was cold. The plug pulled and the water drained away.

She shivered and turned the tap again, scolding hot water fell into the bath. Her skin burned at the touch but she ignored the pain, preferring to feel the numb of emotion. She reached for the soap.

It had been an almost full bottle of shower gel when she got home, and now she squeezed the last drops of her Lemongrass and Lime gel into her cupped palm. She rubbed her palms together and the liquid bubbled white, again she covered herself in the soap, scrubbing violently at her skin with the bath pouf. An hour later she was climbing into her bed.

Denny had died. Izzie had cut his LVAD wire and he died. Izzie had quit.

She'd slept with Addison. Behind Arizona's back. Behind Finn's back.

So Meredith had fled the hospital. Fin had looked at Addison, and so had she, she needed to know what was going to happen, but then Arizona had looked at her. And Meredith ran. She ran after Izzie and George and Alex, and Arizona followed her.

"Meredith? Where are you going?"

"Home. I need to… I can't… Izzie…"

Arizona had nodded and Meredith went home.

Izzie was in the bathroom across the hall, lying on the floor in her big pink dress, her hair still up, her make up running.

She refused to do anything. She just lay on the bathroom floor, crying. George said they needed to give her space and he went to bed, but Meredith knew he wasn't sleeping. Alex found pillows and a blanket and slept outside the bathroom door, so he would be ready if Izzie needed him.

But Meredith had just felt dirty. So she went to her own bathroom, and she ran a bath and she tried helplessly to wash away the smell and touch of Addison Montgomery.

As Meredith lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling she wondered briefly where Addison was; if she had gone with Finn or if she had stayed at the hospital. She wasn't quite sure which would be better; Addison with Finn or Addison with Arizona.

But it didn't really matter. All that mattered was Addison was not here. Meredith wouldn't be able to make it through the night if Addison was here.

She fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Addison lay in the bottom bunk of an on call room; she'd changed into scrubs, and had taken her hair out. She raised her hand to her head and groaned quietly. The door opened and Callie walked in.

"If you're here to bitch to me, or yell at me or anything like that, please, go away."

"I'm not." said Callie, "I get it. I see how you look at her. You love her."

Addison moaned in frustration, "I do."

"Here," Callie held out a hand, Addison's panties and stocking were in them, "I found them in that exam room."

Addison reached for them, "Thanks." She said,

Callie sat on the bed next to her, "You ok?"

"No." Addison wiped her eyes,

"Do you want me to stay? Or do you need some time?"

"I was going to go home, to curl up in bed and cry into my pillow. But I can't. I can't go to my own house because it's not mine. It's Meredith's. And even if I could go home, I couldn't cry there. Stevens lost her fiancé. He died tonight, and here I am crying that I had adulterous sex with the love of my life."

Callie placed a hand over Addison's and gave it a small squeeze, "Stay here Addison, Grey doesn't have work tomorrow; you can stay here."

Addison nodded, "Thanks Callie."

Callie nodded and stood, "I'm heading over their, to George, but I'll let you know if Meredith's coming here ok?"

"Ok."

Callie left and Addison rolled over. She started to cry.

"Addison… Is she… Is ok?"

Addison smiled and held the newborn infant, "She's perfect Meredith, perfect." She walked over and sat on the side of Meredith's bed, setting the baby in Meredith's arms.

"She's so small." Murmured Meredith,

Ellis, who was sitting on Meredith's other side, ran a hand through her daughter's hair, "She's beautiful Meredith."

Meredith looked up, "Can you… Christopher and Nathan are in the waiting room... could you get them?"

Ellis nodded and left.

"You don't have to give her up Mere," Said Addie, "We could keep her. I can finish my intern year and then quit. I don't need to work, I have a trust fund. We can raise her together, and you can finish school. You don't have to give her up."

"Yes I do." Meredith whimpered, "She deserves better than me."

Addison's eyes stung with tears, "We could be a family Mere."

"No Addie, we couldn't. I'm sorry."

* * *

Addison knocked on Finn's door wrapped in her white coat.

"Addison, come in."

She stepped into the warmth of his waiting room and shivered,

"Finn…"

"I don't know what happened last night…" Finn cut her off, "Between you and Meredith. We never said that we were… exclusive."

"But you have plans." Sighed Addie,

"I didn't say I wasn't pissed off."

Addison looked at him with tears in her eyes, "I slept with her." She said, "I'm the cheating bitch again, I know I am, but Finn I want you to know that it's not something that… I'm in love with her, but she wasn't ready for me… and you asked me out and I just wanted to forget about her and… I'm so sorry Finn."

He stood still, "Please leave."

Addison nodded, "I'm sorry."

"I know." He said, "I know. Just get out. Don't tell me you love her, go tell her that."

"Goodbye Finn."

"Bye Addison."

"I'm… I really am sorry."

"So am I."

tbc!