So most of my stories (And story titles) come from songs. And while listening to one song the other day I heard this line, "Fear will always make you mine." And I began to think, like I always do, about a situation were fear would make you someones. The most common would be an abusive sort of relationship. But then I thought, no what if it was fear that drove you into someones arms to feel safe again. And then as my mine goes I began to think of Garrus and here this story it.
I took time out of writing my next chapter for 'Close You Eyes' to bring you this. But I am working on it so expect to see it real soon. Also I plan for this to be a one shot... unless I get people wanting a second chapter. And if you do let me know what you would rather see, Shepard's view on it all, moments after the chapter (rated M of course) or later on maybe at the end on ME3. Now I'm done talking... enjoy.
Disclaimer: Bio-ware is still owned by some rich guy...
The first ping woke him from his slumber in the late hours of the night on the Normandy. Having just gone to sleep a few hours ago Garrus chose to ignore the little light at he rolled to his other side. It was the second ping that caused him to sit up and rub his eyes. There was only one person who would ping him twice in a row this late at night. Shepard.
Shifting so that his legs hung off the side of the bunk he reached for his omni-tool. Opening the screen he selected the second message, knowing the first was blank and meant to get his attention. Just like always it was simple and to the point.
"I'm coming down."
His subharmonics chimed a tone somewhere between desire and longing. It had been this way since he rejoined Shepard and her fight against the reapers. And although part of him did enjoy it quite a bit the other part still didn't know what to make of it.
During their first mission out Shepard made no effort to hide her detachment from everything around her. She got the job done and didn't seem to care how. Her life growing up without family and never really staying in one place seemed to reflect how she lived her life then. The romantic advancements made by T'Soni and Alenko were easily brushed off in light of the mission. Then it changed. Shepard died.
When he rejoined her on the SR-2 Garrus could see that there was something different about her, something a little more human he could call it. She was starting to care about the people around her, including him. Especially him.
She admitted to him in one of their talks late at night that the nightmares were keeping her awake. She had imagined when she died that she would be mourned but only as a hero. She never got close enough to anyone to really have anyone cry for her loss. So she had told him this time around she would do things different. This time she didn't want to die alone.
It was from there the topic came up about blowing steam. At first it had been a joke, simple banter. But then, as more stress was pressed down on her, Shepard began to really get into the idea. At first Garrus wasn't sure about her choice, surely she could find someone a little closer to home. But when he made such comment to her she had simple laughed and said, "Garrus, you are the closest thing I've ever had to a home. There is no one else I trust more in the world to help me with this than you."
And with that he was sold on the idea. They met right before the jump through the relay to release every bit of steam that had built up within them. It was a memorable night for both of them. Neither had been with another race before so it was a night of learning, but once they got the hang of it they both really got into it.
And then Shepard was back to being all business. Ready to fight the good fight and beat the collectors. And in the end she won, like she always did and how did Earth treat their hero? Took her away from her crew and locked her away from the rest of the galaxy to await a trail that might condemn her. But Shepard walked into the situation with her head held high.
That was when Garrus lost her for a second time, only this time there was so much more to lose. When Shepard had died he had lost a superior officer and an acquaintance that could almost be considered a close friend. When she was dead, she was simply gone and he could do nothing about it. But when the Alliance took her, that was a whole different story.
Shepard was so much more after they dealt with the collectors. She had become his closest friend. His brother, or sister, in arms. His lover. They had shared a bond that he had not felt with anyone else. And then they took her away. Back to Earth. So easy to reach yet at the same time completely impossible. Like she was on the other side of a glass wall that he could not brake.
Then, just when he was about to reach the end of his sanity in waiting, the reapers hit Earth. Even though it felt so long ago now it was still so fresh in his mind and would most likely stay that way until his last day. Sitting at his desk that they had given him with his little task force, looking over the latest reports when one of his underlings ran in to tell him the news. Earth was being attacked by the reapers in full force. He had turned on the live feed as quickly as he could, surfing from channel to channel. His mind telling him he was simply gathering intel on the attack while the back of his mind searched desperately for a small flash of silky black hair. Or hoped to see those silver eyes chance a glance before boarding a shuttle off planet.
But he had known that Shepard wouldn't leave Earth right away. She was a fighter. It was such a shock to him to hear her voice in the midst of his own battle. At first he believed he was hearing things. His mind forcing to reject what his heart hoped. But when she called out for aid from a man that he did not know he knew she was really there. Moving quickly he didn't remember much of the things he said or the search for the Primarch, only that she had made it out alive and by some miracle their paths had crossed once more.
So without a second glance to his burning home Garrus had joined Shepard once more. She was the type of soldier that got the impossible done. So if there was any way this war was going to be won it was going to be with Shepard in the lead and him on her six.
But even aboard the Normandy his new position followed him and he was still sought out by generals and on some occasions the Primarch. His work load was doubled, no longer the carefree vigilante with nothing but his rifle, his armor and a trunk full of nick-naks. And if his work load was this much more he could only imagine Shepard's.
The whole weight of the galaxy was resting on her and it was beginning to show. It was shortly after retrieving the female krogan, Eve, when he made his approach to Shepard. If she needed him, for any reason, the door to the battery was always open, no matter the time. He had waited. And waited. And waited. Until right before they hit Tuchanka. It was well into the night, much like tonight, when he received a blank ping followed by a request to come down. Eagerly he accepted and it only took a few minutes for her to burst into the main battery area and make him hers and more.
That night she began to explain the dreams, or really the nightmares. Where on their last mission together she feared dying alone, now the dead visited her in her sleep. It seemed after each mission now a new name was added on the list. Slowly it was becoming completely impossible for her to sleep without a ghost from the past coming to visit her.
And on the off chance she wasn't dreaming of the dead she would relive the beacon once more, images of the protheans being completely wiped out by the reapers. Over and over again.
It was the dreams that sent her to him. Waking up alone and needing to feel grounded. Needing to know that if she were to stumble then there would be someone there who would always catch her. And catching Shepard was what he was slowly dedicating his life to, even if he wasn't sure if the loving feeling was mutual.
She had told him that she did love him, but he was aware how fickle that word was to humans. Friends could use it in a passing manner as well as lovers in the middle of embrace. And without subharmonics he had no idea how she meant those words.
Outside of her late night trips she was the same old Shepard. Sure, she preferred him at her back over anyone else, but that was how it always was. She showed no outward signs that they had spent nights together embraced and forgetting the galaxy was falling apart around them. Only caring about each other and the moment. No sign what so ever. Not even a second glance or a lingering touch.
He would often tell himself that he was going to put his foot down, such as tonight. No more of this flip flop of a relationship, if that's what you could call it. He was going to find out just what he was to her.
But then the doors opened and there she was, still dressed for bed wearing those silly elastic shorts and that tank top that seemed to serve no purpose with how little it truly hid. There would be a moment, just like always, were they would stare at each other for a moment. Then the doors would shut behind her and before the lock could finish turning red she would be on him, soft fleshy lips on his lip plates. There hands both roaming each others body, tracing a map that had been traveled before.
She knew his weakness and him hers. And as they began the first steps of their dance all of the thoughts Garrus had had would fly out the airlock. Although her dreams were terrible as was her situation he had to selfishly admit that he did not mind them, even hoped for them. Because as long as she had them it would continue to drive her into his arms. And for that time she was his and his alone.