Dear Abby

Answer to the 99 ways challenge. I wrote this after listening to the song Dear Abby by John Prine. ^^ Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, the song Dear Abby, or the Dear Abby news column. Word count: 858 (Cut it close didn't I, too close really ^_^;)

Dear Abby, Dear Abby.

My feet are too long

My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong

My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all.

Relena turned off the radio and picked up her evening newspaper. After reading through most of it she finally turned back to the funnies to read her favorite part, the Dear Abby column. She smiled as she read through it and finally laughed out loud. At that moment who should appear in the doorway, but Heero.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked joining her on the couch.

"Dear Abby." She replied still smiling. Heero rolled his eyes then frowned.

"Why?" He asked. "For all you know this so-called "Abby" could be some 26 year old fat man, and the people who write in to him no better." This time it was her turn to roll her eyes.

"Heero! You need to have a little more faith in people. Abby helps a lot of people who are to shy to expose themselves with there problems. You know, like you." His frown deepened. "Take this one for example:

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married four years. Both of us are over forty. Recently I have come to believe he has been cheating on me. What do I do? - Confused and Frightened

Dear Confused: Confront your husband with your fears and See what he has to say. If he is indeed cheating I suggest marriage counseling. But remember, have facts. You may just be paranoid and if he thinks you don't trust him it could ruin your relationship. Good luck!" Heero snorted.

"That proves nothing." He said. Moving closer to her. "And I rest my case."

"Fine be that way." She said pushing him off her and getting up. "You, Mr. Yuy will be sleeping in your own bed tonight."

Her words hit way below the belt and he frowned again. He had to find out who this Abby really was, and why Relena seemed to admire them so much. So he got out his trusty old laptop and set himself to work. A half hour latter his efforts proved useless, the lady was clean, in fact crystal. So there was only one thing left to do..

~*~A few weeks latter~*~

Relena sat on the couch like she did every night to read the paper. She was about half way through when Heero showed up. Sitting next to her on the couch he grinned for no apparent reason as she began to read Dear Abby.

"Don't tell me your still reading that column." He said, still smiling.

"I happen to enjoy it very much." She replied and went back to reading. Suddenly she gasped.

"What's the matter?" He asked, smile fading. "Did Abby say something wrong." He teased.

"Listen to this." She said as she began to read aloud.

"Dear Abby: My girlfriend and I have been dating and living together for the past five years. I love her very deeply and want her to become a permanent part of my life. Should I ask her now? Or should I wait a few more years? And if I do ask her now how should I do it? Please Help. -Pilot 01

Dear 01:

It's nice to see a man wishing to start a family. You should propose when you think the time is right. Not before, not after. Just remember the longer you put it off the more you will begin to doubt yourself. Good luck to you both!" Heero's smile had now returned and he glanced at her.

"What's the matter?" He asked again, seeing to look on her face.

"Heero, did you write that letter?" She asked slowly and bluntly, trying to piece it together.

"Yes." He said. And pulling a small black box form his pocket he handed it to her. "And I think the time is right about now." She opened the box and gasped at the beautiful diamond ring that sat in it. "Do I get an answer Relena?" He asked teasingly.

"Yes Heero. My answer is, yes." He smiled once more and swept her up in a big kiss. Then never breaking from his kiss he scooped her of the couch and carried her in the direction of her bedroom.

The next night as the soon to be Mrs. Relena Yuy read her evening paper. Heero came in once again.

"What do you want?" She asked playfully as he curled up beside her.

"I thought we might read Dear Abby together." He said looking slightly ashamed. She grinned. And moved the paper to where he could see it better. When they were done he snuggled closer and she flipped on the radio to hear the end of a song.

Dear Abby, dear Abby...

Well I never thought

That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught ~End~