A Life Rescued
Part 4
Chapter 36 - The Brink
(Please read & review, it makes us better writers.)

Disclaimer: The world of Terabithia belongs to Katherine Paterson and her publishers.
I'm just playing around in it for a while. No profit was, or will be received from this story.

The flurry of activity that marked the end of eighth grade had just subsided when Jesse Aarons found that Leslie Burke was ready and eager to start working on the first item of her list of summer projects. But over the past few days, since their talk by the creek, Jesse had seen little of his girlfriend as she helped her mother prepare their house for the arrival of her twin cousins from Arlington.

This unexpected delay in Leslie's professed first objective for the summer provided time for Jesse's imagination to run a bit wild with ideas about how she planned to improve their lip-to-lip communications. It wasn't that he didn't have any ideas about how to advance their style and form; he had seen and heard plenty from Mikey and Tom. More than he wanted to, in fact. Jesse also hoped to build on his experience from the previous summer, when he discovered that kissing Leslie behind her ear, particularly on her scar, caused her to make some of the noises he was learning to associate with pleasure. He smiled recalling his mother's panic at what she had called his unintentional intimacy. That was one area he was more than happy to attempt to recreate.

Then there was the tongue thing. Jesse had seen enough of Ellie and Toby before he shipped off to boot camp to realize that swapping saliva could not be completely disagreeable. Leslie's few, tentative, and long-past touches of her tongue to his lips reminded him of their first conversations about French Kissing. Now, a year later, the idea was nowhere near as revolting. He resolved to take more of the initiative at their next opportunity.

Muddled among these two distinctly adolescent goals were other more provocative ones, like those that flashed into his mind when he thought about the Keane sisters in Tom's camera, or Leslie in her ill-fitting bathing suit, or even the time when he thought he would have the opportunity to see Grace Jacobs' occupied undergarments. He shivered while trying to determine the appropriate balance between what he wanted and what he might be allowed to achieve.

Of course, there was the other side of the coin to consider, too. What would he allow Leslie to do to him…with him? Kissing, sure. And he loved the way her arms around his neck calmed him. When their cheeks touched, or their noses, it felt like jolts of electricity. All these things, Jesse believed, were both proper and normal. The concept of complete sexual intimacy, on the other hand, was so absolutely removed from his conscious thoughts that he didn't even bother to waste time considering ways to avoid it. Unfortunately, like most adolescents, and nearly all adolescent boys, he was blissfully unaware of the fact that once the match was 'put to the fuse' it was a very brief time until the explosion.

For her part, Leslie faced a deeper dilemma, and a heavier responsibility. For over a year, she had been paying attention to how her body reacted to various stimuli and recognized that she had run up against a brick wall. It was not that Jesse's kisses didn't make her feel wonderful, they always did. But kissing and holding hands and hugging had been the extent of their physical interaction, until the party at the Keane's house in late May. There, for the first time, Leslie began to understand how much of a physical reaction she could bring forth from her boyfriend. Jesse's embarrassed turn-away after some kisses had probably stunned her as much as him. And when she thought back on other times when she and Jesse had been necking or hugging for extended periods, she began to recall the odd shifts in position he initiated; now she understood why. She smiled to herself. There were still many things she didn't comprehend about boy-girl relationship, but discovering part of the secret of this one was oddly satisfying.

Fortunately, the deep friendship the two adolescents shared gave Leslie enough respect for Jesse's feelings that she never really considered intentionally making that happen to him. However, even though she was up to speed on her F.L.E. studies, Leslie still had not come to realize that she did not have to intentionally do anything to or with Jesse to set him off. She would learn that over time.

With her chores finally complete Monday evening, Leslie called and proposed to Jesse that they hike up into the mountains Tuesday, and spend some time at the canyon behind their late friend's cabin. She suggested bringing their bathing suits so they could cool off in the pool as the weather had turned hot and humid. Jesse agreed and the stage was set for the most interesting day of their lives.

- - - - - - - - - - -

On Tuesday morning, deep inside both adolescents, there was a vague realization that they were setting off for far more than a simple hike. There was a playful atmosphere with their every step, a tingling when they held hands, a deeper blush, a quicker step, and an all-around sense of discovery. Little conversation passed between the two, and this was highly unusual. But many long looks and warm smiles seemed to communicate the desire for an intimacy in more than just mind and spirit.

Both found that by the time they had reached the abandoned cabin their breathing and heart rates were elevated more than would normally be expected. When they reached the head of the canyon, both began to realize that it was the other, not the hike, which was bringing on the excitement. They were alone, probably for miles, and both intensely interested in exploring more than the terrain. These suspicions were confirmed in Jesse when he set his backpack down and stood back up to find Leslie's red face inches from his. In a second she was kissing him, and he was returning them eagerly.

A few minutes later, and not knowing exactly how it happened, Jesse found himself on his back and his girlfriend lying atop him, kissing his mouth even more fervently. He believed, at first, that he could not possibly respond as intensely as she could, but he did. He felt a wave of guilt and confusion over being so expressive on Mr. Boone's land, but it seemed to make him want to kiss Leslie more, and he recalled what his father had once told him about strong emotions flaring into passion. He instantly knew that was what was happening.

Rolling to his side, so Leslie was next to him, Jesse felt his heart beating wildly and his breathing quickening. There was something uncommonly intense about Leslie's actions, and he had never felt it before.

Is she losing control?

Am I?

The conflicting and confusing thoughts passing through Jesse's mind were being rapidly pushed aside by his own plunge into the stimulating world of Leslie Burke and Jesse Aarons, alone, together. The images whirling around in his head were both unnerving and intriguing, and emboldened by the wild desire to satisfy his own appetite, for the first time in his life, Jesse Aarons let himself go. It wasn't so much a conscious decision as a concession to curiosity; an abandonment to arousal.

Unsure of where to begin, he pulled his flushed and wide-eyed girlfriend closer. The feel of her body against his was electrifying. Leslie wrapped one leg around him and helped strengthen the physical bond they were building. Gently brushing aside the golden hair that was partially hiding her face, he saw the same curiosity, the same interest, the same passion in Leslie's face as he felt in his chest.

Their kips met again, but lightly this time, as if testing a cup of hot tea. Jesse could taste the strawberry lip balm Leslie always wore. And just as clumsily as he had the first time he kissed her, he opened his mouth a little wider and touched her lips with his tongue, briefly tasting them.

When Leslie's eyes shot open in astonishment, Jesse pulled back, worried he'd done something too bold.

"Sorry…I…I just…"

"No, Jess," Leslie whispered passionately, "I liked it. It sort of made me shiver."

Jesse nodded in agreement, though it was doing much more to him than making him shiver. He did it again, barely touching her, and could feel Leslie's lips form a smile.

"Jess?"

"Hmm?"

"I really do like it."

Noticing his hands shaking, Jesse latched them more tightly on Leslie's back and neck, moving her in closer so he wouldn't have to lean so much for the next kiss. That kiss unfolded like no other. Both kids' parted lips met, teeth tapped, and then the tip of each tongue. It was just a glancing touch, but it was so unlike anything either had expected that they sprang apart again, Leslie, wide-eyed, her wet lips glistening in the sun. Jesse wondering how something so brief and small could produced such a reaction.

"Wow!" whispered Leslie, her enthusiasm not at all diminished by her hushed voice. "I see why Mom didn't want me to listen to Aunt Joan."

Jesse ignored this and kissed her again, and more boldly.

Leslie giggled. "Jesse Aarons, are you enjoying this?" Her rhetorical question was answered with another kiss. Now it was her turn to eagerly respond.

Time passed with the kids exploring each other like never before, discovering the magic of opening up a new part of their relationship. Both were amazed by the myriad of sensations their lips and tongues could evoke, and slipping into the fog of sexual arousal – a first for both. They had suddenly come face-to-face with the question both had considered recently: What happens next? Leslie had a vague idea of what she wanted from Jesse, and she tried to maneuver her body back on top of his where she could experience the warmth of his chest pressed against hers. Pushing herself up on one arm and leg, while trying to kiss was awkward, but she was able, after a couple aborted attempts, to find a comfortable position.

Then she noticed a subtle change in Jesse, and felt something she knew she should have been more careful about.

Jesse had been able to write-off his interest in their more intimate kissing, and him touching his girlfriend in different places, to typical adolescent curiosity, but it was now no longer a matter of curiosity. The physical closeness of their bodies and the uncontrollable whatever it was building inside him seemed to be taking over his actions and he found that his hands were no longer content to touch Leslie's face, neck, and back. He slipped one hand under the bottom of her tank-top and felt the soft skin of her lower back made damp by their vigorous hike, and he heard her inhale sharply when his finger circled a spot directly over her spine, along the top edge of her shorts.

Then, when Leslie moved on top of him, he found his desire to touch more than her back was almost mind numbing. Jesse's hand moved to her waist, just below her ribs, then inwards to her stomach, and then upward. Based on her squirming, Jesse wondered if his hands were tickling. He gently separated their bodies to have easier access to the front of Leslie's body.

But Leslie wasn't laughing. When she felt Jess's hand on her bare stomach, she stopped breathing for a few seconds and felt another shiver wrack her upper body. "Jess…?" she said quietly, though more from the thrill of what he was doing than concern, but Jesse kept kissing her face and his hand kept moving between them. She was pretty sure she knew its destination, but as the hand inched up, an image of Gary Fulcher came to her mind, and what he had been doing that had made her attack him.

Would Jess…? Because of me…? Because of what we're doing?

The distraction generated by this thought was met head-on by the shock of feeling Jesse's hand brush against her breast. Leslie gasped aloud from a combination of shock and the intense sensation his touch brought out. It was not at all unpleasant, quite the opposite, but the warning alarms were already sounding and she knew what she had to do. Leslie rolled over to see a dazed look on Jesse's face, his hand that had seconds ago been touching her so intimately was drawn back; its owner shifted his gaze from her face.

"Ohmygod, ohmygod…Les, I'm…I'm sorry. I can't believe I did that."

Predictably, Jesse started hyperventilating and it took Leslie a minute to convince her boyfriend that everything was ok, though she wondered if it was possible to be convincing when she herself was not so certain.

"Jess, Jess, shhh, really, it's ok, we just got carried away. It wasn't just you…"

Before her eyes, Leslie watched as Jesse began to shrink back into the shell he'd grown out of years before, and she mentally kicked herself for letting things get so carried away.

"Jess, stop that. Look at me. You did nothing wrong…"

"Yes, I did! I'm sorry. Are you ok, Les?"

She nodded shakily. Then Jesse, looking relieved, began to disentangle himself. When free, he jumped up and started to turn away, embarrassed seeing that his uncontrollable reaction to their intimacy was plainly visible to Leslie.

Leslie herself automatically looked away. She had felt him earlier against her leg, but forgotten about it when Jesse's hand started touching her. She tried to ease his discomfiture. "Oh, come on, Jess, I took F.L.E.'s too, that's normal."

"Yeah? Easy for you to say," Jesse responded, leaning over, hands on his knees, and still a little panicky. "Girls can hide it a lot better than guys."

Leslie had to smile at the truth of the statement.

"Ok, just wait until it's… I mean, come back when you're ready."

Leslie fumbled words put Jesse at ease a little quicker and a couple minutes later, having tucked his shirt back in and run his hands through his hair, Jesse returned and sat with Leslie, though a little further away than she liked. When he stubbornly refused to move closer, Leslie scooted over, put her arms around his neck, and gently pulled him to her shoulder. The heat from his flushed-red face was unusually warm and gave Leslie a deeper sense of affection for her best friend.

"Jess, it was ok. I don't want you to get all grumpy because you thought you were sinning or taking advantage of me. I'm serious: this wasn't your fault. I…I think I've felt it building for a long time, at least inside me. By the way, you're a great kisser, do you know that?"

Jesse shook his head.

"Jess, look up at me, Jess! I had a great time."

"But I….touched you!"

"I noticed. Do you hear me complaining?"

Jesse didn't seem to appreciate Leslie's dry humor at first, but a small smile eventually returned to his face.

"C'mon, Jess. We'll be more careful not to get carried away, ok?" Leslie hugged him. "Look at it this way, you got a late birthday present."

Jesse gave Leslie a who are you kidding? look, but seemed to be calm enough to talk to logically again.

"I think we need to be getting home now," he announced abruptly. "Seriously, Les. I don't know if my seeing you in that bathing suit right now would be a good idea."

"Ok, Jess, but don't you think we need to talk about what happened some more?"

"Well…yeah. I mean…ok, I don't know, it just scared me."

"Me, too, but I'm not going to let it make me miserable. It's not like it will happen every time we kiss, right?"

"I, um, I guess not."

"So there," Leslie proclaimed.

"Wait!"

"Now what?" asked Leslie a little impatiently.

"I think we should test that."

"Huh? Test what?"

Smiling deviously, Jesse touched his lips and they both leaned over and kissed as they had just discovered how to do so sensuously an hour earlier.

"God that's amazing!" Leslie only nodded in reply. When they broke farther apart, Jesse felt better seeing Leslie more affected by the kiss.

"Ok, you're right, Jess," Leslie breathed heavily. "Let's agree to be more careful." Putting a hand to the side of his face, Leslie cupped his cheek and had to fight off a craving to take her boyfriend's hand and place it back on her chest. Not doing so left an ache inside her she had never felt before.

Leslie recalled Jesse's words from their days on the Mediterranean nearly two years earlier, and he was right…this can get us into trouble!

When Leslie returned home, she ducked into the kitchen and said hello to her mother. Judy, covered with the remnants of Jimmy's oatmeal lunch, smiled and asked how her day went with Jesse, silently noticing that they were home a lot sooner than she expected. Leslie had never quite figured out how her mother was able to do it, but in spite of the casual we had a great time response, Leslie knew her mother knew. The question was, How much?

"Come in, Les. Let's talk."

"Mom, I really need to shower and, uh, get going on my homework…"

"Too bad," she said, a little more sternly. "Sit! And in case you didn't notice, school ended four days ago."

Leslie groaned and sat.

"Is there something we need to talk about?"

"No…not really," Leslie lied. Turning away, she saw Jimmy watching her as if he knew and wanted to hear every juicy detail. She sighed. "Well, just a little."

"Les, you really don't have to tell me anything if it makes you uncomfortable. But when you came in your eyes were as big as billiard balls and you were blushing down to your knees."

"That obvious, huh?"

Judy smiled and nodded.

"Les, you're my daughter, you're fourteen and a half, and you and your boyfriend are pretty much madly in love. When I think back to myself…"

"Mother! I'm not you. We've had this discussion and I wouldn't do that with Jess."

Jimmy threw more oatmeal into the air and blurted out, "Wiff Jeh'!"

Judy held her daughter's gaze and clearly saw that what she should have said was, I wouldn't intentionally do that with Jess, or, I wouldn't plan to do that with Jess.

"You're right, Les, you are not me, I wasn't implying that. I was trying to say that you're at an age where your body can easily help you lose control. It's that other side of PMS we talked about. And believe me; if Jess is anything like your father, he has a lot less control than you do." By the look on her daughter's face, Judy knew she had hit pretty close to home. But the real question was, how close to home did Jesse get?

"Sweetheart, what happened?"

Leslie told her about their oral exploration, and then the other part. Judy Burke was quite proud that she was able to listen dispassionately to her daughter's first foray into the fringes of sexual activity. When finished, her mother touched her cheek.

"Was this the first time this happened?" Leslie nodded. Judy smiled. "Did Jess…ah, survive?"

Leslie laughed at the choice of words. "Yes, a little embarrassed because of…of, you know…a guy's reaction."

"Not unexpected, considering what he was doing. Leslie, is that were the touching ended?"

"Yes! I think Jesse would have been horrified if…I mean, he was so embarrassed as it was."

Judy thought that comment over for a minute and asked for clarification. "Les, Jesse didn't, ahem, have an…accident, did he?"

"Huh? OH! No, I think I would have noticed that."

"Ok, because it's pretty easy at his age. Just be careful how you, ah, position yourself if things get hot and heavy again."

"Don't worry, Mom, I promise, that's never going to happen again."

Judy laughed aloud and assured her daughter that it would, and offered some strategies for keeping things from progressing any further.

"Mom, I have another question," Leslie said quietly, looking down, obviously concerned about something. "Does what we did always feel that good?"

"Les, I think that's enough talk about sex tonight," Judy said, smiling. Besides, Jimmy was now bored with the conversation and threatening further food mayhem. But there was still another very important thing she needed to say. Taking her daughter's hands, Judy spoke calmly, and directly. "Les, I won't ask any more questions about you and Jess, but I'll always be here for you. I think you know Bill and I believe you're too young to be active that way, but I also know things are going to happen. So does Mary Aarons; we've talked about it a lot." Leslie's face looked horror-struck. "Honey, we know you two love each other, but you're still children, really, so we need to agree on some limits since you've pretty much obliterated the last one's we set."

"Sorry."

As Judy and Leslie talked about the new set of guidelines, she saw her daughter becoming more and more uncomfortable so she ended it for the time being with one final, shocking statement.

"Les, I'm going to leave some contraceptives in the bottom drawer of your bathroom vanity, and I promise not to look to see if they're being used. Ok."

Stunned, almost as much by her mother's comment as Jesse's boldness earlier, all Leslie could manage to do was nod.

"That doesn't mean I approve of sex at your age, I don't, or that I want you to look for opportunities, understood?"

Leslie shook her head in a rapid, jerking motion. And she felt a little sick to her stomach.

"Mom, I don't want that…them. I don't need them."

"Well, they're not so much for you to use as for Jess…"

"MOM!"

"…only if needed, Les."

"But…but Jess says the Church says they're illegal!"

Judy frowned at being reminded of one of the key points of contention between her and the Catholic Church. "Yes they do consider it sinful, that's another thing for you to think about. What are their alternatives to birth control?"

"Abstinence and natural family planning."

"Ok, then, there's your choice," Judy said matter-of-factly, and immensely curious how her daughter would respond.

"Abstinence it is," Leslie said decidedly, and with no hesitation. Her conviction and naiveté both surprised and alarmed her mother.

"Ok, go shower and do your…homework, I have to finish dinner. Is Jess coming over?"

I'm not sure I could face him!

"No, he's going into town with his father."

Leslie decided then and there to remove anything from the bathroom that looked remotely like contraceptives, and hide them in her room. But she didn't leave, yet.

"Mom, I have one more quick question."

Judy sat back down and waited, wondering if she was about to hear more details from Leslie's adventures that afternoon. She didn't.

"When did you know you wanted to spend your life with Dad? You know, get married?"

"Oh, uh…" Judy, caught completely by surprise, stalled for time while she thought back so many years. To her credit, she answered the question truthfully.

"When I was about your age…but remember what I was going through..."

The reason didn't matter a jot to Leslie, her question had been answered.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Leslie walked to the Aarons house that evening shortly after seeing Jesse return home, and asked to speak to him. Mr. Aarons said he was in his room and she could go up, but Leslie politely asked that he be called down. He nodded and did so. When Jesse came down the stairs and saw Leslie he hesitated for just a second; Jack Aarons saw it, though he said nothing at the time.

"Hey! What's up?"

"Wanna go for a walk?"

Jesse nodded and jogged across the room, taking Leslie's hand as they went outside. Heading towards her house, Leslie started the conversation after a half-minute of awkward silence.

"Jess, are you ok with what happened today?"

NO! He just shrugged.

"We're too young for this, Jess, so let's not get in the habit of you…me…uh, us…you know. Is that ok?"

Jesse had to laugh. Leslie was almost never tongue-tied, as she was now. "You mean I can't feel you up every time we're alone?"

Leslie slapped his arm, but then stopped and said honestly, "Neither of us is ready, Jess, I'm sorry I let you get that far."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Ok." Then he thought of something. "Um, how about kissing…like today?" he asked, arching his eyebrows suggestively.

Leslie considered that for a few seconds. "Can't say I'm ready to give that up. But promise me, we'll be careful, both of us, right?"

"Ok, I promise," answered Jesse, hugging Leslie, but also releasing her after only a few seconds. The reminder of how he was so consistently and easily aroused by her troubled his thoughts.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Late that same evening, Judy Burke showered and climbed in bed. Bill was pounding away on his laptop and barely acknowledged his wife. This was one of his character flaws that annoyed her excessively. But his uncanny ability to tune out everything he didn't want to hear usually led to interesting conversations.

"Bill?"

"Hmm?"

"Our daughter is sexually active now."

"Ok."

"Her and Jess have been for a while."

"Yeah…I know."

"I gave her a box of your condoms."

"Good idea, Jude."

"But I didn't need to."

"Yeah."

"Les is pregnant."

"Ok."

"So am I."

"Mm-hm."

"So is Mary Aarons."

"Good plan."

"And Ellie and Brenda."

"Sounds good to me."

"Want to have sex?"

Bill instantly looked up, smiling wickedly. "When have I ever said 'no' to that?"

"Never, that I can remember," Judy replied dryly. "But you'll have to put your computer down."

"Yeah…right, just a sec…let me finish this thought…"

Five minutes later, Judy groaned and started over, this time a bit more vicious in her comments.

"Billy?"

"Hm?"

"I'm bi-sexual."

"Ok."

"And P.T.'s beginning to turn me on."

"Cool."

"And I'm going to punch your jewels if you don't start screwing me."

"Sure."

"BILL!"

"Hm…what, Jude?"

Judy seriously considered acting upon her threat, but instead took her nightgown off, straddled Bill's lower legs and slammed the laptop shut on his hands, finally gaining her husband's undivided attention.

"Hi. My name if Judy Burke. I'm your wife. I want you to make love to me. NOW!"

"Ok, ok! Why didn't you say so?"

Feeling a little deflated, Judy fell over sideways and wondered why she had married a writer.