Hello again my marshmallow chicken peoples. I luvses you all, but it is time to go on to another series, mostly because I am SICK of stalking the creator of Naruto. I mean, sending me hate mail and suing me were just all that I could take. Anyway, This is actually a collection of stories that explain the ifs, ands and whys of Naruto.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Chapter 1: how Sasuke went gay with Naruto.

It was just another day in the life of an emo Sasuke. He started his morning with his usual formula. 1: stare at your reflection and contemplate your meaningless life.

2: Cry over your discovery

3:Jack off over the soap dispenser.

4: Cry because the soap dispenser will be the only sex you will ever have.

5:purge because you are too fat.

6: put on rainbow underwear.

7: go to school (Cry more on bus)

Today would be different though. Little did he know that Today was the day that he would go gay. Class started as usual: the teacher asked him why the cuts on his arms did not heal. Sasuke said that they were scars from the time when Itachi raped him, but He had cut them himself. He then started to cry out of the misery and despair that he pent up.

Sakura walked up to him. "Sasuke, I-I-I LOVE YOU!" She screamed out the last words. She stared at him with a scared look on her face. Sasuke lifted his tear stained face from his desk and said "God you stalkers piss me off! I cry and cut because of you! My life is pointless, and I still can't end it all because you people always stop my yearly suicide attempt!"

"Like Last year." Sakura said.

FLASHBACK FLASHBACK

It was a cold and dark day. Sasuke had climbed the Hokage statues and began to sob. The local fire department brought out the usual chakra net, but didn't actually deploy it. He as usual looked dead, and wore the clothing of a homosexual. He screamed the pointlessness of life, and began to walk to the edge, until he spotted the nearby taco stand. Sobbing tumultuously he went and was fed a generous portion, which he later purged.

END FLASHBACK!

"You know what? I know how to cheer you up!" Sakura said.

"Really?" Sasuke asked, his eyes finally seeing some point to the void of his life.

"Before I start though, What are you working on?" Sakura asked.

She took a slip of paper that said: You know you are ugly when:

1 At 23 your husband or wife hates sex.

2 To go out with someone, you are asked to wear a paper bag.

3 The waiter confuses you with the pig.

4 you have a mom like that

5 you have sex with...

"Uhhh yeah, anyway, Watch!" Sakura said "Cheap rave music jutsu!"

Sexy music started, and Sakura began to dirty dance, slowly removing the little clothing she had on. She revealed a small, Sasuke shaped tattoo on her nipple, and a strange butterfly one on her ass.

MOMENTS LATER

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" came a blood-curdling scream. When Naruto looked in, sakura had only a small leather whip wound about her. She was slowly removing it. Sasuke ran from the room and accidentally bumped into Naruto.

"Naruto help me escape! Let's have sex!"

"Ok Sasuke!"

And that, my chickens, is how sasuke went gay.

ENDNOTES:

After the end of Super Naruto, I am going to start Super Sailor Moon or Super S&M

Luvses you