1Catch You When You Fall
Disclaimer: All character's and settings are property of CBS and Paramount.
Okay I have had this story rattling around in my head for a while and since it doesn't look like we're going to get a funeral for Johnston I thought I'd type this out.
Jake was in the basement of his parent's house staring up at the floor joists trying to remember which one had a bottle tucked up behind its insulation. "It's the third joist from furnace," Emily said coming down the stairs.
They had all just come back from the funeral. Emily was in a long black dress and he had on a suit. They looked out of place in his parents unfinished cement basement, which was bare except for an old ratty brown print couch and an even older tv in one corner, and his dad's tool bench in another.
Jake reached up and moved the insulation away from the wall then took out the bottle. He smiled slightly. "How did you know?" he said, unscrewing the lid.
"That's where we hid that ornament of your mother's we broke when we were ten remember?" she answered, grinning, then looking at him seriously. He took a swig from the bottle and handed it to her. She gave him a look and for a second he thought she might say this wasn't the time for a drink, but instead she just took the bottle and took a shot. "I haven't had whisky in a while, is it bad that even this crap tastes good after six months of Mary's rotten corn special?"
"Probably," Jake said giving her the ghost of a smile.
She looked at him with that look-- the one that said I can see right through you so cut the crap--and asked "How you doing?"
It was a loaded question and it hung in the air for a minute before Jake answered, quietly, "I'll live," as he moved away to sit on the couch.
She followed him as he knew she would and then looked him straight in the eye and said quietly but firmly, "It wasn't all your fault. You know that right?"
Jake looked at her with damp eyes. "He wasn't the one who left or kept screwing everything up all the damn time."
"Don't," Emily said passing him back the bottle back so he could get another shot. "This is me your talking to, I know exactly what went on in your house, the same way you know what went on in mine." She swallowed a lump in her throat and went on thickly. "He was the one who acted like you not being perfect was a terrible disappointment. He was the one who never forgot any mistake you ever made. He was the one who made you feel like nothing you did was ever good enough." She paused to take a drink. "Don't get me wrong. He was ten times better a father to me than Jonah ever was, but he wasn't perfect. He was human and he was screwed up just like the rest of us."
Jake knew what she was saying was true but there was still something niggling at him. "I could have done more, I could have come sooner or talked to him ages ago."
He started to lose it and Emily broke in. "Jake if there's one thing I have learned from my mother's death its that you have to forget that stuff. You can't change it now anyway and if you carry it around it'll eat you alive."
Considering that by the time she died Emily's mother had been two parts vodka and one part crazy, Jake had to admit Emily probably understood better than anyone how this felt. That was always part of their magic. They knew each other's dark corner's better than anyone else. When ever either of them had been at the self destructive worst, no one could save them like the other.
It was odd though for Emily to talk about her mother so calmly. "Since when are you the sane one in this relationship ?" he asked, part teasing, part probing. There had been bigger changes for her than longer hair. He just couldn't put his finger on it.
"Hey, I spent a good part of the last five years on shrink's couch's. It better have done some good," she answered, partly joking. She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. "I missed you," she said quietly as he put his arms around her.
"I love you, crazy girl," he said, as he had since they were to young to even know what that really meant.
"I love you too, babe." Emily moved so she was close to him as she could get. They just sat there holding each other and for a minute the rest of the world drifted away. Jake didn't want to move, even though he knew he should go up and help his mother with the various guests they could hear walking around upstairs. He needed this, though.
His brother could handle things for a few more minutes.