Welcome Back on the Fanfic express! Wheather you are a veteran rider or a newbie important voice please keep your hands and feet in the vehicle at all times. It's gonna be a bumpy ride. Please enjoy the complimentary muffin baskets.

Well hello there. Miss me? -ducks flying objects- Yes Yes Yes, I know. Why on earth am I starting a new fic when I have 540358240398 ones in a dark corner crying for my attention. Well I actually have a very good reason -people prepare pitchsporks- IT"S A ONE SHOT! Ha! -people lower pitchsporks-

Ok so the story behind this one shot was that, well, it was 4 am and I felt like writing something! I came up with this Counting Raindrops Until Insanity, and Why Mary Sue Must Die. So I decide to post this. If it's bad, my excuse, I WROTE IT AT 4AM! Actually this is a very old one shot, I wrote it last year? I think...hmm...

Ok enough of my rant please continue on :

But before I forget...

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing except maybe the bloody humongeous rat in this fic. If you sue me all you get is half a bag of skittles and a stepped on laptop. I wish I was kidding.

Oh and please read the A/N at the bottom to

Thanks! And yes I do realize this A/N is longer than the actual fic

Counting Raindrops Until Insanity

By: Steph

Have you ever felt that you just got your life together? That with everything in your past that had gone wrong now it was right. I've had that feeling, and I've had that feeling snatched away from me. That led to another feeling, a feeling of pain…and of sorrow.

Why? Why do these things happen to me? Am…am I meant to be miserable for the rest of my life? Seeing that I'm here in this place, the answer is yes. This is where my road ends, all the twist and turns of life, all the wrong and right choices I made. But maybe I went left instead of right at the most important intersection of my life and it has me thinking, what if I made a right. What if I hadn't made that decision? Would I have avoided the crash? And maybe…just maybe things would have turned out differently. And they would still be here.

Then again what if this was meant to happen? What if there is some bloody higher power that sets our fate from the moment we are born, and that road we take is just an endless maze of deception. All the roads lead to the same thing, no matter what.

I still feel that it's my fault. It's my entire damn fault. I can stay in the hellhole for years and years, I can go insane and not remember why I'm her in the first place, but it will always be my fault. But I know I will not go insane, insanity is saved for those who have happy thoughts and memories. The Dementors will feed on their happiness; they suck them dry until all that's left is an empty shell of bad memories and dark thoughts. Happiness has no place in my mind, only revenge, guilt and pain. Insanity will never numb the pain, there are going to be moments, I know when I will be close to becoming another nut job. But I will focus on revenge, not a happy thought, so I will never be taken away from me. Never.

Oh. I hear the rain. I know a thunderstorm is coming, but not like the one that is in my very soul, no storm of that power has ever been found on earth. It sooths me, the rain, it helps me to stop thinking…about them. When I was younger I would always cont the raindrops as I heard them hit the round. But I never had the time, or patience to count them all. I laughed softly…now I will have the time, I will have all the time in the world. Wow, that laugh felt different from my laugh. I had laughed only days before, not out of happiness, not out of something close to insanity either. Out of revenge.

It's funny, really, its only my first night, I keep on thinking about insanity, imagine what will happen to me when I've been here longer. Longer…I'll be here longer, longer than the thunderstorm hall rain down upon this god forsaken place, longer than the time Slughorn gave me detention for that frog incident, longer that I'll ever have been in one place. I hope the have good food. Food, I'll miss food, almost as much as I'll miss them. But I'll never miss anything as much as I miss them. I swear the first thing I'm going to do when I get out of this hellhole is get some butterbear and a nice juicy hamburger, then I'll kill the rat. And no, its not that bloody humungous one staring at me in this cell. I hate rats.

Dementor…oh what's this? Food, if that's what you can call it, stale bread and I have no idea what this brown stuff is…It's probably the best they have here, and if that rat comes a step closer I'll take out all my anger out on him. Rats get away! Right now insanity sounds…no I'm not going to talk, think, like that.

James and Lily would have been ashamed. I'm sorry guys; one day I'll avenge you. One day I'll make them pay. Remus, I'm sorry mate, I should have believed you, maybe if I had…I wouldn't be here, one day I'll see you again. But that day, it's not now, it's not going to be for a long time, so I'll be counting raindrops until then.

Fin

PIT STOP! So how did you ride? It wasn't to bumpy was it? Ok good, how did you like your muffin baskets?

Ok, I have a fic for this dodges Yes I know I said it was a one shot but I do have a fic that is very tightly connected to this, heck they kinda have the same title Counting Raindrops It's about Sirius, who is in Azkaban, and he has, not really a power, but more like the ability to know when the rain is coming (Pretty usless I know, but think Gilmore Girls, Loreli with the snow) and so he's in Azkaban thinking back to major events in his life (ex. Girlfriends, running away from home, Lily and James dying, Harry being born)

Tell me if you would like this fic posted

Ohh and all my old readers, READ MY PROFILE THINGY, there's news on my other fics

Thanks!

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