See Me This Once
I must be so vain.
To think, to *know* he liked me and wanting to show off to him, teasing him, and yet- I wouldn't tell anyone, *especially* not _him_ that, I think I like him too.
It's just, well, look at me. I'm fourteen, just a kid really, and I act so immature, more so when my friends are around. I can't help that I love to have fun and that usually comes from being mischievous. They set me off, like sugar or, or caffeine! And with my 'heightened exuberance' comes clumsiness and ditzyness. I'm really not that bad! It's just around people I get tongue- tied and nervous. I love people and more than that I love talking to people so you can see my problem.
He's the only one who can shut me up.
But I'm so shy! You'd never realize I suppose, just looking at me and seeing me with my friends. I'm all bouncy and happy and yada yada but put me in front of a bunch of people I don't know- or even one person, specifically of the male gender- and I get all flustrated and hot and blushing and stuttery! I
can't help it! It's my worst curse! I trip and embarrass myself to no end!
But that's how this whole thing, this misunderstanding and everything
happened.
I know how everyone sees me. I know I'm clueless and a klutz, way over- excitable. I know, I know. But when I'm alone, you don't know this- know one does- no one except him now.
When I'm alone, I can fly . . .
Okay, not really, no wings on this girl, angel that I may be- No. But I dance and spin and am the epitome of grace and elegance- when I'm alone. Even Luna can throw me off though.
I'm not alone often enough anymore. With Luna as my new constant guardian and Tuxie boy always showing up at the most awkward moments- and then *him*, him and his bad- perfect . . . timing! Arghh!
Anyway, I never get time to myself anymore- I fear, everyday, I won't have a moment to just stand still and close my eyes, face lifted to the heavens, arms raising to touch the moon and feel that shiver of delight when my body
loses all it's heaviness and I seem to float up. And then sometimes I just put a book on my head, like ladies do- I can balance a bag on my head just like Cinderella and spin or hop down stairs- and don't get me started on how I set the table and dance a perfect waltz at the same time.
So, of course, when _Darien_ asked us to help him out at the theater because the crew quit and his friend deserted him- I jumped at the chance-
First off because I could do something nice for the guy who never seemed to ask for help from anyone. Maybe this time he'd see I wasn't just in the way and annoying. I can be helpful too.
Although, my sources- hehe- told me that he kinda likes me. I think I can see it too. Now that I'm looking, really looking at him and not what my puppy eyes showed me. He blushes when I catch him staring at me, he does stare too! He always, like half stands, like he wants to get up and greet me when I walk in but then changes his mind in the middle of the thought! He so cute like that! And, even when he teases me, it's me that really makes him laugh. I can make him so happy, just by pretending to be angry, by 'accidentally' brushing his arm when I run past him, when we lock eyes- I can see his are dancing- he doesn't mean what he says, he just wants to be close to me . . .
Second, to get him to owe me- *me*, Meatball head, a favor- Hehehe- And third, because I knew, in that whole huge theater building, I could find an
empty stage on which I could stand alone, in the dark, and twirl.
And so it was. The moment I got 'lost' I took off, away from Luna and everyone else and opened every door I could find until I saw a dark, empty theater. I flipped on the light switch by the door- the place wasn't tiny but it wasn't the huge stage to be used for Darien's play either. But the light switch only lit one of the side spotlights.
Now, even *I* know that's odd so I reached further, stepping into the
room, letting the door close behind me, and found more switches. I turned off the one and flipped the middlest one. And the center spotlight came on.
It was so wonderful. The whole stage, uncluttered, wide and bare, so much room to move- And one circle of light to pierce it's darkness where I suddenly stood as if magicked there.
For a moment, I stood in the pool of warm sunbeams and just absorbed the heat, baking away my mask of uncertainty, my nervousness melting from my body till I stood still and untrembling, smiling towards the light. So confident- If you'd only been there, if you could have seen me- you'd be so shocked- I know he was.
I let my arms fall then threw myself into a fast spin, twirling, unstoppable, on my very tippy-toes, one leg up like a ballerina and my arms
rising slowly above my head. The height of my arms determined my balance and speed. I never stopped, my momentum- I don't know how I kept it up but I just kept twirling and twirling- I never wanted to stop!
I really feel like I can fly like that, all sense of the world and reality just drifts away like a bubble. And here I was in my own little cone of heaven, separate from everything else. I was so fast, so free! Like a dance, like the little spinning princess on my music box, round and round in her little circle till the music stops.
My music never stopped, but it descended a great deal when I realized, from one of the balconies, Darien was watching me.
So intently- so dazedly and enraptured, I guess. But I didn't blush, not to him, I inhaled another sweet, dusty breath and kept spinning, never losing my beat, never faltering in my step. I wanted to show him so bad that I was graceful. That I could dance and I wasn't always clumsy. I had to show him how beautiful I could be.
I kept going.
I never acknowledged his presence, though my smile should have given me away.
It was like a dream, my dancing in the dark, the warm light like a sun shining only for me. My watcher silent in the rafters like the Phantom for
Christine. All was so quiet- my breathing didn't even seem to exist as an action- it was all just twirling, swirling like dandelion seed, a shiny penny not ready to lie flat on the ground-
But I heard a noise from the direction of the door, my name being called by my friends, a light broke the stillness of darkness as the door opened and two of my friends barged in. I stepped on my own foot and tripped, right out of the spotlight. I fell to the floor, frowning, pretending to be upset that I klutzed out. I looked up and he was gone. Disappeared.
I was back to being me. Normal, klutzoid, dumb me.
But for a moment. For that short, miniscule breath in time, I was the real me- in front of *him*. I didn't have to pretend when he was there, I just let myself be and it worked!
The girls would never know. Not really anyway. For a moment, just me and him, we were honest- at least I was. I showed him my heart, the spirit inside me- and he didn't turn away.
One step at a time, Serina, just one little, tiny step to begin with.
I think he knows that I like him too now.
I must be so vain.
To think, to *know* he liked me and wanting to show off to him, teasing him, and yet- I wouldn't tell anyone, *especially* not _him_ that, I think I like him too.
It's just, well, look at me. I'm fourteen, just a kid really, and I act so immature, more so when my friends are around. I can't help that I love to have fun and that usually comes from being mischievous. They set me off, like sugar or, or caffeine! And with my 'heightened exuberance' comes clumsiness and ditzyness. I'm really not that bad! It's just around people I get tongue- tied and nervous. I love people and more than that I love talking to people so you can see my problem.
He's the only one who can shut me up.
But I'm so shy! You'd never realize I suppose, just looking at me and seeing me with my friends. I'm all bouncy and happy and yada yada but put me in front of a bunch of people I don't know- or even one person, specifically of the male gender- and I get all flustrated and hot and blushing and stuttery! I
can't help it! It's my worst curse! I trip and embarrass myself to no end!
But that's how this whole thing, this misunderstanding and everything
happened.
I know how everyone sees me. I know I'm clueless and a klutz, way over- excitable. I know, I know. But when I'm alone, you don't know this- know one does- no one except him now.
When I'm alone, I can fly . . .
Okay, not really, no wings on this girl, angel that I may be- No. But I dance and spin and am the epitome of grace and elegance- when I'm alone. Even Luna can throw me off though.
I'm not alone often enough anymore. With Luna as my new constant guardian and Tuxie boy always showing up at the most awkward moments- and then *him*, him and his bad- perfect . . . timing! Arghh!
Anyway, I never get time to myself anymore- I fear, everyday, I won't have a moment to just stand still and close my eyes, face lifted to the heavens, arms raising to touch the moon and feel that shiver of delight when my body
loses all it's heaviness and I seem to float up. And then sometimes I just put a book on my head, like ladies do- I can balance a bag on my head just like Cinderella and spin or hop down stairs- and don't get me started on how I set the table and dance a perfect waltz at the same time.
So, of course, when _Darien_ asked us to help him out at the theater because the crew quit and his friend deserted him- I jumped at the chance-
First off because I could do something nice for the guy who never seemed to ask for help from anyone. Maybe this time he'd see I wasn't just in the way and annoying. I can be helpful too.
Although, my sources- hehe- told me that he kinda likes me. I think I can see it too. Now that I'm looking, really looking at him and not what my puppy eyes showed me. He blushes when I catch him staring at me, he does stare too! He always, like half stands, like he wants to get up and greet me when I walk in but then changes his mind in the middle of the thought! He so cute like that! And, even when he teases me, it's me that really makes him laugh. I can make him so happy, just by pretending to be angry, by 'accidentally' brushing his arm when I run past him, when we lock eyes- I can see his are dancing- he doesn't mean what he says, he just wants to be close to me . . .
Second, to get him to owe me- *me*, Meatball head, a favor- Hehehe- And third, because I knew, in that whole huge theater building, I could find an
empty stage on which I could stand alone, in the dark, and twirl.
And so it was. The moment I got 'lost' I took off, away from Luna and everyone else and opened every door I could find until I saw a dark, empty theater. I flipped on the light switch by the door- the place wasn't tiny but it wasn't the huge stage to be used for Darien's play either. But the light switch only lit one of the side spotlights.
Now, even *I* know that's odd so I reached further, stepping into the
room, letting the door close behind me, and found more switches. I turned off the one and flipped the middlest one. And the center spotlight came on.
It was so wonderful. The whole stage, uncluttered, wide and bare, so much room to move- And one circle of light to pierce it's darkness where I suddenly stood as if magicked there.
For a moment, I stood in the pool of warm sunbeams and just absorbed the heat, baking away my mask of uncertainty, my nervousness melting from my body till I stood still and untrembling, smiling towards the light. So confident- If you'd only been there, if you could have seen me- you'd be so shocked- I know he was.
I let my arms fall then threw myself into a fast spin, twirling, unstoppable, on my very tippy-toes, one leg up like a ballerina and my arms
rising slowly above my head. The height of my arms determined my balance and speed. I never stopped, my momentum- I don't know how I kept it up but I just kept twirling and twirling- I never wanted to stop!
I really feel like I can fly like that, all sense of the world and reality just drifts away like a bubble. And here I was in my own little cone of heaven, separate from everything else. I was so fast, so free! Like a dance, like the little spinning princess on my music box, round and round in her little circle till the music stops.
My music never stopped, but it descended a great deal when I realized, from one of the balconies, Darien was watching me.
So intently- so dazedly and enraptured, I guess. But I didn't blush, not to him, I inhaled another sweet, dusty breath and kept spinning, never losing my beat, never faltering in my step. I wanted to show him so bad that I was graceful. That I could dance and I wasn't always clumsy. I had to show him how beautiful I could be.
I kept going.
I never acknowledged his presence, though my smile should have given me away.
It was like a dream, my dancing in the dark, the warm light like a sun shining only for me. My watcher silent in the rafters like the Phantom for
Christine. All was so quiet- my breathing didn't even seem to exist as an action- it was all just twirling, swirling like dandelion seed, a shiny penny not ready to lie flat on the ground-
But I heard a noise from the direction of the door, my name being called by my friends, a light broke the stillness of darkness as the door opened and two of my friends barged in. I stepped on my own foot and tripped, right out of the spotlight. I fell to the floor, frowning, pretending to be upset that I klutzed out. I looked up and he was gone. Disappeared.
I was back to being me. Normal, klutzoid, dumb me.
But for a moment. For that short, miniscule breath in time, I was the real me- in front of *him*. I didn't have to pretend when he was there, I just let myself be and it worked!
The girls would never know. Not really anyway. For a moment, just me and him, we were honest- at least I was. I showed him my heart, the spirit inside me- and he didn't turn away.
One step at a time, Serina, just one little, tiny step to begin with.
I think he knows that I like him too now.