"Ice"

We were ice-skating. Once upon a time, I used to be really good, I could feel it; my spirit wanted to fly, my body to dance but my feet refused to cooperate. I was missing my balance, my strength and courage to stand and soar. So I came to this lake to practice, to try and glide across the hard, glassy surface on my own hoping someday I'll be as good as I somehow feel I'm supposed to be.

I took my friends with me this time, we were playing games, my feet making me the clumsiest of all though at least I kept upright most of the time, I could even escape Mina and Rei. We played tag and kind of a hockey-soccer game.

While we were there, that conceited jerk, the hottest guy with the midnight hair and eyes the blue of the night sky, glittering like stars on the dark ocean, standing tall and fleeting on the ice as if it were solid ground and not frozen water. Of course he saw us and started up with the stupid meatball head klutz cracks. I didn't appreciate it at all and the girls, my _friends_ joined in until I ran away in tears, slipping all over the slick ice, dangerously close to the middle where no one else was.

Eventually they tried to stop him and they chased after me, Ami said something about staying away from the middle of the lake, Lita and Mina just wanted to ignore Darien and continue our hockey game. Suddenly, both Rei and Darien at about the same time looked up, their eyes almost horrified. Rei started to shout at me to which I promptly stopped to listen to- she looked so *scared*. Darien took a hesitant step towards me and I stared at him, caught by those warm, intense eyes as if they were silently telling me something I could hear if only I was quiet enough . . .

At that moment I heard the soft crack, a low scrape and scratch like blocks of Styrofoam slowly rubbed against each other, and the soft ice I stood on began to sink. So slowly at first I barely noticed except for the murky

water seeping in through the gash to swamp around my feet. Within seconds my skates were under inches of water and the thin line widened. I slowly shifted my weight to one side, ready to run, my eyes wide with fright and I wanted so much to cry and scream in terror but I couldn't make a sound or even breathe lest the small fracture collapse into a hole. I was frozen solid and silent-

Far off, I thought heard Lita and Rei calling for me to move, I think I saw Darien starting to run in my direction out of the corner of my eye. My eyes caught theirs trying to convey my fear and assurance- I was trying! I wouldn't leave them, not yet . . .

I took a step away from the crack and slipped as the broken ice tipped and slid from beneath me and suddenly the world disappeared. Icy water engulfed me, my body and mind knew nothing but cold, sharp as needles and so shocking I completely forgot the need to breathe. I instantly couldn't feel anything except the assaulting touch of water I couldn't escape. *I couldn't escape*.

My clothes were very quickly heavy and soaked, so many layers- I thought I'd been smart thinking ahead. Even my skates drag me down and my arms don't seem to be moving even though I can see them thrashing in the green water where the sun sparkled through the makeshift skylight in the ice. I reach for it, forcing my poor, numb hands to grasp the broken edges of thick ice and I try to pull myself out with useless fingers, attempting to kick weighted legs and reach the surface if only to breathe. The edge abruptly breaks off in my hands and I'm once again holding nothing, immersed in chill water I'm beginning not to feel anymore.

The air above the water is even colder than this frigid lake and my hands retreat under again, my arms freezing up and legs slowing. I'm too cold and tired to move anymore. I'm so sleepy, and looking up at the sky through this water is so pretty and the sinking flow of the current around me feels strangely tender. I safely watch the blue sky and sunlight shining down on me, my golden hair drifting up as if reaching for the sun's rays. I numbly feel my hands

float upward, tinged the oddest color of pale blue-violet. The water embraces me and I let myself relax into it and I would sigh if I could remember how.

Time slows but I never notice, it's getting dark and still, the cold gone but the caressing water is ever present.

I suppose I want to remain here. It's so quiet and peaceful. No Rei

screaming at me, no little brother teasing me, no Ami forcing me to study, no parents or teachers to disappoint. No mind games or tricks to play or be played on. No worries, or fears, or self-consciousness, or *regrets*. No past to

remember . . . No Darien . . . No . . .

The sunlight suddenly disappears and I see a figure, a face I'd recognize anywhere but his expression is still alien to me, Darien Shields has never shown concern for anyone before or whatever that panicked emotion was that was paling his features. The horror in his breath-taking blue eyes caught all of my attention. The pain and fear etched in his face was heart-stopping and all I could do was stare at him, the faintest ghostly smile unconsciously on my lips to reassure him that I was okay. 'I am okay with this end and please do not risk yourself to my fate, not for the meatball head. You don't love me now. You don't remember what I do, but why do you look so sad? Only your smile warms my heart, but this- This expression doesn't belong to you, it hurts my heart, dearest prince of mine.'

My chest throbs, feeling empty, like my heart is fluttering in a cage. My stomach tightens and twists sickeningly and my head starts to ache, my stinging blue eyes are drifting shut as I fall further and further from that person I so wanted to help but didn't want for him to help me. That sad heart I wanted to hold and comfort, that face I wanted to kiss and love and gaze on forever just as once upon a time we were meant to be.

'Forgive me, my friends. I cannot fight with you anymore. My moon days are over, as I knew they would be again. Forgive me, Darien. I was going to tell you-' My eyes close, cutting him off from me, finalizing the last remnants of reality. I'm glad his face was the last thing I saw. For eternity, he is the one thing I wish most to remember.

My body relaxes with the stillness of death, silence it's heralding song. I can feel my pulse in my head; it's quickly dying, my lungs are on fire and my lips, against my will but I no longer have the control to stop it, slowly part like the ice a few moments ago. Icy water floods my mouth, but goes no further; I won't swallow it till I *am* dead.

Playful silver bubbles rush past my nose, kissing my cheeks, and catching my eyelashes but I'm beyond feeling . . .

'I was going to tell you, *I'm* your princess.'

A touch shocks my dead nerves, a weight on my hand and water falling *down*. More pressure and a heaviness pull at me, a sudden sharpness forces my tired eyes to blink open once- and discover blue eyes. Blue eyes, black hair, frosty air, and an all-encompassing sense of safety.