Disclaimer: I do not own anything except whatever is my own… Philosophical, ain't it? Anyways, General Hospital and that thereof (aka characters and excerpts from the show) belong to ABC and Disney and whoever else has a rightful claim in it all… But this IS my idea (based on the idea of the aforementioned, of course)… that is the one thing in this world that I claim…

Note: This is written as a post-ep for the goodbye between Jason (Steve Burton) & Carly (Tamara Braun) when Carly and Sonny were going to run for it from France. One of my all-time favorite scenes between Jason and Carly, no matter that Laura Wright is now my fave Carly... but I have my own twist on how it all turns out.

They've said goodbye numerous times before & were willing to let each other go… but not this time…

… And They Said Goodbye

Why? Why was this happening?

The words kept ringing through his head as he watched her finger the heavy parchment paper she held in her hesitant hands. It was a letter to her mother. A letter of goodbye. He took the letter from her and looked at it. Bobbie Spencer would have a tangible goodbye, something that she could look back on and know her daughter had loved her. All he had were his memories… and sometimes, that wasn't enough. He looked up at her as she started to talk. Actually, it was more a ramble. Something he understood completely. No, there was no letter for him… but she read him… his feelings. Just like she always did.

"It's kind of hard to figure out what to write… how to put my feelings down. How do you say thank you and goodbye? And now, you're standing here in front of me and I'm not sure what to say," she said, a mixture of emotions running across her face.

"You don't have to say anything," he told her.

"Ummm… you know that… how I feel, right? You know you've been everything… I know that you've been everything to me…" The rush of love he felt for her at her rambling caused her name to slip past his lips. And suddenly, his earlier, seemingly foolish action after he'd landed in Paris didn't seem so foolish.

"Carly… Carly… I understand. It's okay," he said reassuringly, looking her in the eye to let her know that he could read her just as well as she could him. "You know… that the first thing you ever gave me was a keychain… with my name on it." Her watery laugh caused him to go on. "And, uh, and later, I gave one to you. But we can't do that stuff now because it can be traced. So, um…" he stammered slightly as he reached into his pocket to pull out the object he had purchased simply on an unaccustomed, heartfelt whim. Looking at her, he noticed the laughter in her eyes as she pursed her lips and let out a slight, disbelieving laugh. "I got you this from the airport in Paris. I know it's tourist junk, and there are millions like it. So, just – you know – I want you to keep this…" He looked into her face and his eyes traced the puckered brow as she held back tears. He memorized every feature of her face so he could pull it from his memory should she walk away from him forever in the space of a few measly hours. "… to remember me by, okay?" The silver replica of the Eiffel Tower sat lovingly in her hands for a split second before she brought her hand up to wipe a tear from the curve of her lip.

"What am I going to do if you're not there to catch me when I fall?" she asked softly. His heart ached a little at her pleading question.

"I trust you. Now you need to trust yourself." His eyes pleaded with her to trust him, to believe his words – to know that she was strong. She was the strongest woman he knew… loved. The ache he'd had in his chest since he walked into the room intensified as her eyes became moist with unshed tears.

"What if I can't?" she asked. He watched her for a second, piecing together his words carefully. The promise he'd made to Sonny dispersed in his mind like a puff of smoke. He could never make the same promise to her. He could never leave her on her own, to depend on people other than him. He was the only person Jason trusted completely with her safety.

"Just call me. And I will come and get you, no matter what," he said seriously. This time, a tear slipped from the corner of her eye as something that sounded suspiciously like a plea to God escaped her lips before she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. He closed his eyes and relished the feel of her in his arms. This woman – this pawn in a tug of war between two other men – had such a firm hold on his heart. No other woman had ever accomplished that before – not even Courtney. At this moment, all Jason wanted to do was to run away with her. Away from the destruction that was Sonny and the obsession that was Alcazar. He wanted to preserve her the way she was, because that's who he loved.

"Jase?" she asked as she pulled back from him. He kept his hands on her shoulders as he looked at her.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked, confused. She reached up, wiped a tear from her eye, and then laid one of her hands over his.

"For everything, you know. I've said it before on occasions that didn't warrant it, in situations that were desperate and to my advantage… but I'm saying it now so that you really understand that I mean it. I'm sorry for everything that happened… the kidnapping, Ferncliff, AJ, Robin, Elizabeth, the whole shebang… making you lie for me when you are the most honest person I have ever known…" she said, her shoulders dropping in remorse. Jason stooped down a little so that he could meet Carly's lowered eyes.

"Carly, you don't need to apologize. It's not like this is goodbye forever…" he said, refuting everything he ever said to Courtney and Sonny… and himself. Carly smiled.

"Yes it is, Jase. Sonny's in too much trouble… we have to leave. I'm not stupid or naïve enough to believe we could ever go back and not have to pay the price for it…" she said. Jason gritted his teeth mentally for a second. The grudge he'd held since the moment he'd walked through a certain door and seen a bullet in her head suddenly and unexpectedly made itself known.

"You don't have to do this, Carly. You don't have to go with him," Jason pointed out. Her eyes lowered to the floor, avoiding his serious gaze.

"I do, Jason. I owe him that much," she said. Jason reached down and tipped Carly's chin up so that she could see him.

"Carly, you don't owe him anything… you've paid for your mistakes back in spades, okay? Whatever you think you owe him, you don't. If you are leaving just because of that, then I won't hesitate in saying you're wrong. It isn't worth it, Carly. Leaving the people that love you behind, cutting off your children from the people that love them… What about Bobbie, Mike…" Me. "… everyone? This shouldn't just be about owing Sonny." Carly shook her head.

"You don't understand, Jason. I owe Sonny because he loves me so much… and I can't seem to love him back. If I can't do that," she said earnestly. "… then I can give him my loyalty - and his family." Jason reached down and took her hand.

"What if it never comes back, Carly? Are you willing to sacrifice it all for that?" he asked. Carly looked down again.

"But Jason…"

"No, Carly. No 'buts'… If the feelings never come back, you've resigned yourself to a criminal life on the run with a man that you can't love. Trust me, Carly. I know how boxed in it feels, and I know the anger, the resentment, and bitterness that come with it. Thankfully, I had someone to help me pull free of that and get on with my life. That was you, Carly," he paused meaningfully. "So trust your memories, Carly, if you can't trust your feelings. You know Sonny… you know that if it turns out that you can't feel anything for him, you know that Sonny will not live with that well. You know how he gets. And you know how you get. You also know what it's like to live in a constant mental war-zone, Carly… You did it with the Quartermaines and you did it, for a while, with Sonny. That's why it astounds me that you are willing to take that risk…" he pleaded.

Carly's eyes watched him thoughtfully. This was her usually silent, stoic best friend. He was laying his, and her, fears on the line. Telling her what was what. And at this point, there were three people in this world that she felt everything for… her mother, this man… and another man named Lorenzo Alcazar. The first one was a comfort that meant more than Carly could ever explain. Her mother was her rock, her support - the woman who had come to mean so much to Carly. The second, more surprisingly, was something she cherished, relished, and couldn't imagine her life without. And with all of this connection mess, the fact that her connection with him survived told her everything she needed to know. Jason was unconditional. He was forever. What kind of forever was still something she needed to sort out. And the third… well, it frightened her, honestly. Her feelings for a total stranger that had kidnapped her for his own ends surpassed her feelings for her own husband a hundred fold. It weirded her out beyond words.

"I don't know what risks I'm willing to take, Jase. All I know is that I'm married to a man that I used to love and now he's accused of kidnapping and attempted murder. Isn't a wife supposed to be loyal? Isn't she supposed to be with her husband?" Carly asked, the confusion on her face turning to guilt when she started coming to her own conclusion at how she really felt. "God Jason! I'm giving up everything! I want to love Sonny! I do! It's just… God, I don't know. Like you said, I need to trust my memories… and Jason, a lot of my memories are unhappy ones…"

"Not all of them Carly," Jason said, trying in vain to remember the happy times they'd all had. Carly smiled as she turned from him.

"No," she admitted. "Not all of them…"

"Carly, I'll help you any way I can," he said. She smiled again and faced him.

"I know, Jason. You always do…" She was about to say more when the suite door opened. In walked her husband. Carly looked over at him. He was waiting… for her to acknowledge him, for her to come to him. Carly looked away, questioning not only herself but the situation. And then she looked to the one person that always seemed to have the answers for her. And he was watching her, his light eyes holding only concern for her. This man really was her other half… why had she tried to deny it for so long? Why had they forced happiness upon each other with Sonny and Courtney when they could have found it together? Were they really that afraid?

"Carly?" Sonny's voice inquired. She looked over her shoulder at where the two men now stood. One was loyal, supportive and trustworthy. The other one passionate, demanding and turbulent. Where Jason was practically an open book to her, her husband still remained a mystery in so many ways. One she loved with her entire being, only now remembering the connection. The other one, she wished she could love the way he did her… and remember the connection they once had. When her eyes met a pair the color of aged whiskey, she turned toward him.

"… you ready to go?"

What did she do now?

A/N: I plan on a possible second & final chaper to this, but I'm not sure when that will be possible. Hopefully, soon...