Disclaimer- Sasuke- today, I will be the one to say this disclaimer thing. We DON'T belong to demoness rose, and never will! However, she CAN borrow us for her writing pleasure…..even though she only uses me for-
Demoness Rose- slaps hand over Sasuke's mouth. uh, heheheh! Now now sasuke! We don't want to give our lovely readers any wrong ideas! uncovers mouth
Sasuke- you suck.
Demoness Rose- Oh screw you!
Sasuke- grins oh, they try, but I can't sit still long enough….
Demoness Rose- ON WITH THE FIC! Damn you sasuke you sexii!
Sasuke- Yeah, I am.
Bold inner characters
'italic' Thoughts
bold+italic sound effects
It started out as any normal day would for team 7. Naruto yelling about something or other, Sakura gazing at Sasuke with hearts in her eyes, and Sasuke….well, was Sasuke. It's not like he could help it now, could he? Yes, it was a pretty slow day as they all waited for their sensei who was late as usual.
"DAMN, WHEN WILL HE GET HERE ALREADY!" Naruto complained as loud as he could.
"Naruto!" Sakura snapped. "Will you just shut your mouth for two seconds! I don't know why you have to yell when everyday it's the same thing! Kakashi-sensei is ALWAYS late, why must you complain about it!"
"CUZ I LIKE TO BE A PAIN IN THE ASS, BELIEVE IT!" He shouted back and smiled widely.
"At least he found something he's good at." Sasuke smirked.
"WHAT WAS THAT SASUKE-BASTARD!"
"DON'T CALL HIM THAT!" Sakura yelled in Sasuke's defense.
"I don't need help Sakura…"
"Oh! Of course you don't!" She smiled nervously. 'BUT I WANNA HELP HIM SO HE KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM!' Inner Sakura screamed in her head.
"Aww, don't worry Sakura, Sasuke just doesn't know how to appreciate you! Not like I do, that is!" Naruto proclaimed proudly.
"Hi there team of mine!" Kakashi greeted them happily.
"OH YOU ARE SO LATE!" Naruto and Sakura yelled together.
"Oh sorry about that." He smiled. "But anyways, every team is being required to take a test of trust with each other. We will be going to the academy today!"
"WHAT!" Naruto yelled. "I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO THE ACADEMY! I THOUHT WE WERE OUT OF THAT PLACE FOR GOOD, BELIEVE IT!"
"Calm yourself Naruto. This will be fun, I promise!" Kakashi coaxed.
"Fine." He sighed defeated. Team seven followed their teacher.
'Heh! Fun for me, that is!' The silver haired jounin cackled to himself while taking out his infamous copy of make-out paradise and began reading where he left off last time. 'Man, when the hell am I gonna finish this book?'
"Okay, welcome back everyone!" Iruka said waving to the teams in the room of the familiar ninja academy.
"YO, IRUKA-SENSEI!"
sigh "Yes Naruto, what is it?"
"What gives? Why are we all here anyways?"
"All will be explained momentarily, so calm yourself!" Iruka cleared his throat.
……….
"Alrighty then." He began. "The reason behind this is because we think that we should have a trial of trust between the teams, just incase all of them should ever have to group together to face off against some kind of evil powerful ninja force or something along those lines."
………
"…..Any questions?"
"Now now Iruka." Kakashi interrupted. "Why don't you tell them the real reason we're doing this?"
"I don't have it in me Kakashi." He sighed and stepped away from the podium. Kakashi walked up to it with his hands behind his back and stated very plainly:
"We just like to see you all squirm!"
"WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" Everyone yelled. Even Sasuke……even Sasuke…..
"And if you refuse……we'll send you back to this academy and out of your squads!"
"WWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"
"Now then!" He grinned. "time for your assignment!" He bent down and picked up a baby doll, showing it off to everybody. "This is your task. Parenthood!"
"WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH BEING A NINJA ANYWAYS!" Sakura yelled out abruptly. Apparently inner Sakura lost the race between mind and mouth.
"Well miss Haruno, I'm getting to that! Now then, we're going to pair you all off to see how well you could take care of a baby."
'It can't be that hard if we're just going to take care of a stupid doll.' Sasuke thought to himself.
"Oh yeah, and before I forget!" He threw the baby doll at Sasuke's head.
"ACK!" He cried falling out of his seat.
"You'll be taking care of REAL babies, children, or both."
REAL…….REAL…..REAL…..REAL
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"
"You guys are taking better than last year's class is!" He laughed. "Now then, time to pair you lucky mommies and daddies up! Ahem." He cleared his throat and took out a long list.
"Hey Sakura!" Ino Whispered. "Betcha I'll be partnered up with Sasuke-kun!" She teased.
"No way! I'm Kakashi-sensei's student! He knows how much I love Sasuke! He'll definitely pair me up with him!" She stuck her tongue out.
"Like that has anything to do with it!"
"Yeah, well, we'll just see!"
"Hyuga Hinata and……..Uzamaki Naruto!" The silver haired man voice cut in.
Hinata's pearl eyes widened to the size of saucers. Did he really just pair her up with her number one crush!
"Hm? Oh cool. HEY HINATA, GUESS YOUR GONNA BE UZAMAKI HINATA FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS!"
Blush "…………joy……" She whispered happily.
As he went on pairing off the students, the remaining girls were all slowly edging over to Sasuke, who was now back in his chair, sitting in his usual position and praying that if there was a heavenly being out there, he would make him disappear.
'Besides, the only one worth my company is Sakura….'
'Who said that!'
'Your inner Sasuke, dobe.'
'I have one?'
'everybody does. EVERYBODY.'
'Then where the hell have you been all this time?'
'It took you longer than most people to actually start listening to their honest selves.'
'Oh.'
After a few more pairs were called, until there was just Sasuke, Sakura, Ino and Chouji……that fat kid……
"And the last two pairs….." Kakashi's lone eye was looking at the remaining people slyly, prolonging the moment. 'One little bunny is gonna haaate meeee!' He thought evily.
"Yamanaka Ino, and…………"
'Uchiha Sasuke….Uchiha Sasuke…..UCHIHA SASUKE!' Ino's mind screamed.
'NOT MY SASUKE!' Inner Sakura pleaded violently.
"………….And that uh……fat kid over there….what's your name again?"
"I'M NOT FAT, I'M BIG BONED GOD DAMMIT!" Choji bellowed. The room silenced at the round one's outburst, and the boy took his seat. "...And...my name's Choji..."cough,cough.
"Ah yes, yes, that's right. YOUR WITH THE FAT KID!" Kakashi pointed and laughed, making the whole room join in. Kakashi then held out his hand as a signal to shut up, and a drum roll played on que.
"There is now only one pair left……….Haruno Sakura and……….UCHIHA SASUKE!" Kakashi quickly took out a boom box and played "Today" By Smashing Pumpkins. He took out a microphone and strolled over to her putting a sash around her like they do in those beauty pageants.
"Today is the greatest….day you'll ever know, oh yes it's miss Haruno…..and Sasuke!" Kakashi sang loudly. He pulled a lever which was randomly there and balloons and streamers came out of everywhere.
"Oh, oh, oh! This is the best day of my whole entire life, I've dreamed about this day for all my life which was a meaningless montage of shame and disappointments before Sasuke!" She squealed as she wiped away tears of her unrequited joy.
Sasuke just kinda stood there with his hands shoved in his pockets. All he could think of was how he's never felt such a strange combination of awkwardness….and indigestion…..
'But hey, your paired up with Sakura! Eh? Eh? Eh?'
'oh shut up.'
'Come on, you know you like her…..'
'errrrr……….'
Just then, among all the girls who were not paired up with the Uchiha boy, (except Hinata) just realized that somebody else got Sasuke, and not any of them!
"GET HER!" Ino screamed above Kakashi's attempt at singing. All the girls jumped to their feet and charged Sakura, the few who got to her, fighting with her, and those who didn't, fought with themselves.
Kakashi wasted no time. He fumbled around with his C.D. collection and popped in a cd with that song Girl Fight on it. Then he pulled another lever and mud poured from the ceiling and splashed on all the girls.
"OHHHHHHHH! WE BOUT TO THROW THEM BOOOOWS! WE BOUT TO SWANG THEM THAAAAAAANGSSSS! THERE'S ABOUT TO BE A WHAT? A GIRL FIGHT!" He sang loudly and ran around the mosh pit, getting a nice view.
Sasuke shuffled away to Hinata and Naruto.
"OH BOO FREAKIN' HOO FOR YOU SASUKE-BASTARD! YOU GOT A FULL ON CHIC FIGHT JUST FOR YOU, AND YOU JUST SHUFFLE AWAY LIKE THE CROTCHITY OL' BOOBY YOU ARE! BELIEVE IT!"
"………what?"
"BOOB!" Naruto cried angrily. He reached his arm over and gave Sasuke a purple nurple.
"AAAAOOOOWWWWW!" Sasuke yelled in pain holding his abused man nipple. He growled at Naruto and kicked him in the balls, causing him to fall to the ground and hold himself in pain.
"AAAAAHH! OH GOD! OH! MY LOVELY MAN LUMPS!" He wheezed out. "BELIEVE IT!"
"N-Naruto!" Hinata gasped and blushed. "Um, uh….oh my goodness!" Her face turned ten different shades of red and pink as she knelt down next to him and tried to think of something to do with herself.
"Serves you right dobe!"
"S-Sasuke bassstaaaard….." Naruto hissed in pain.
Kakashi interrupted again. "Okay, stop hurting each other….yes, you can stop now, stop, stop, STOP IIIIIIIIIITTTTT!" He yelled on the microphone making all the muddy girls freeze. "Ok, Sakura…..go to him…..he's waiting for you……." He knelt on one knee and put his hand on her shoulder, pointing in Sasuke's general direction.
"Oh, I will sensei! I….I will!" She cried happily. Turns head slowly and smiles with sparkles around her. Happy music in background
"Haha, thaaaat's my girl, aho ho ho…..NOW GET OUTTA MY FACE!" (A/n- I had to give him an Invader Zim outburst.)
Sakura ran over to Sasuke and hugged his arm. Sasuke twitched slightly as she clung to him and nuzzled her head in the crook of his arm.
"This is gonna be so great Sasuke, I promise!" She squealed.
"Hn."
'It's only a matter of time buddy boy…'
'Just shut up.'
'If only self escape were that easy, eh?'
"Oh, newly weds!" Kakashi called out to them. "You forgot your assigned children!" He ran over to them and handed Sasuke an address.
"But….these are somebody's actual children!" Sasuke remarked.
"Yes, but the parents are away for a little while. Two weeks to be exact! Have fun love birds!" He grinned through the mask. "And make sure you get out of the house before they get back!"
'LOVE BIRDS! HELL YEAH!' Cheered Inner Sakura loudly, causing Sakura giggle and blush to herself.
"And Sakura?" Kakashi motioned for her to release Sasuke's arm from her death grip, and she walked over to him. He bent down to whisper something to her.
"Your very welcome young lady." He smirked. Sakura's smile lit up about 100 more watts, if that was possible, and her green eyes glittered.
"I always knew you were the best sensei-no! Best all around guy EVER!"
"Yes, I know, just let's keep this between you and me. I don't need to be attacked by Uchiha's hoards of fan girls…….." He shuddered. Sakura laughed and ran off to Sasuke.
"Let's go Sasuke-kun!" She chirped and dragged him out the doors of the academy.
Aww…I finished chapter 1! Yay for me! Celebration time! Oh Sasuke!
Sasuke- sitting on couch flipping through television channels wearing no shirt and leather pants what do you want from my life?
Demoness rose- PARTY ME! pouts
Sasuke- throws handful of confetti in the air boredly and goes back to the tv.
k, please review me cuz I'd be so happy and shit! So…there's the button….go ahead…push it and leave me some luv! And yeah, i realize i made kakashi way ooc...but whatevs...lol..evs...