2100 HOURS, THE "GAME" ROOM
"So, what do you miss most from back home?"
The question was a general one, meant for the entire group sitting around the card table, but one person in particular, a certain Canadian genius physicist, seemed to take the question personally.
Rodney McKay looked at John Sheppard and asked, "Do we have to do this?"
The rest of the game players eyed the chief of science curiously.
"What?" McKay asked defensively. "I think that asking a question like that…well, it's just asking for trouble.
"No it's not. In fact, I think it might do us all some good," Sheppard said as he set down a two through six run of hearts. They had settled on Rummy for the night's card game; Rodney had been beating their collective butts in Phase Ten, and he was just too damned good at counting cards to ever play Blackjack with again. The scientist had become so enthralled in the game in his mind as he worked out solutions to keep track of the cards that his face had become impossible to read. All they could get out of that face now was that Rodney had a leg up on them. Period.
At least they were still able to beat his ass in Poker.
"Radek, no more of your magic brew for the colonel," Rodney commanded. He looked with contempt at John's new play and the piece of crap discard at the end of the pile. McKay picked a card from the deck, looked at it quickly without checking his hand again, and then discarded it.
"I hate that you can do that," Sheppard grumbled.
"Me, too," Ronon Dex said as he sent a glower McKay's way.
"And me," added Radek Zelenka. His own pull from the deck had been as helpful as Rodney's, and he discarded swiftly as well, but only after checking his hand to assure that he could not make use of the card.
"Yes, well, I haven't heard 'that' complaint before. Oh, and good," Rodney smiled with satisfaction as he guzzled some of Radek's Atlantean vodka. The alcohol burned as it went down, evidenced by McKay's closed eyes and the light hiss as he swallowed. When he opened his eyes, if you looked closely, you could see a faint trace of tears.
"Ach, Rodney, I don't know why you drink the stuff if it pains you so much," Dr. Carson Beckett noted, wincing in sympathy.
"He's right, Rodney. I had about the same reaction as you when I tried it for the first time. Of course, that also turned out to be my last time," Elizabeth Weir said as she took her turn.
"You're a smart woman, Elizabeth," Carson said, though his disgust with her was obvious on his face due to the lousy card she threw down.
"Thank you, Carson."
"Lightweight," both Sheppard and McKay chimed in.
"Elizabeth has a point, though, Rodney. Why do you drink it?" John questioned. Radek, Ronon and Rodney were the only ones partaking in the homemade brew. Everyone else was satisfied with the Earth-based beverages that they were now lucky enough to occasionally enjoy due to the Daedalus supply runs. Teyla was sticking with Athosian tea.
Rodney McKay pondered the question. It was a good question. He never felt very good after imbibing Zelenka's hand-fashioned rock gut.
"I…well, I guess maybe it's because it reminds me of R…ah, no, no, no, no, no. I know what this is. This is about that 'what do you miss' thing. Well, you won't get anything from me. I'm too smart to be duped into participating." He took another swig of 'vodka'. "And I'm definitely not drunk enough."
"Yet." All but Teyla joined in, though she smiled sweetly at the affectionate jibe.
"Very funny," Rodney countered with no sincerity and just the hint of a grin.
"I miss sex," Elizabeth admitted. Everyone stopped what they were doing. Sheppard's mouth hung open, dumbfounded. Carson's eyes were wide with shock. Ronon's glare took on new meaning. Teyla's eyebrow was raised high on her forehead. Radek did his damnedest to not make eye contact with anyone at the table for fear of what he might reveal.
And the silence was deadly.
Rodney McKay just sat back and nodded his head knowingly and said, "See? Do you see what I mean? And she's not even drinking."
"What's wrong with that? And I am drinking, Rodney," she said as should enjoyed a sip of the French Sancerre that was part of the last shipment from Earth. She drew another card, played three queens and then discarded. "It would be rather unhealthy for any of us not to miss it."
The silence around the room was deafening. Again. Sheppard, McKay, Beckett and Zelenka all put their heads down, a clear attempt to avoid eye contact with the civilian leader of the expedition. Ronon and Teyla looked at each other and then eyed the four Earth men suspiciously.
Rodney now shook his head back and forth and then looked to the side, giving John Sheppard the evil eye and said, "I told you this was a bad idea." John canted his head in acceptance of the criticism.
"Wait. What…I'm missing something," Elizabeth began. She looked from Rodney and then slowly to John, seeing only the tops of their heads. She had a similar view as she turned to Carson, and then to Radek. She frowned and then glared as the realization hit. The accusation was clear in her face and in her tone as she continued.
"You're all having sex, aren't you?"
"Not me," Ronon admitted, not without evident frustration.
"Nor I," Teyla said, her voice dripping with unbridled envy as she watched the four non-Satedan men at the table.
"I'm not talking about either of you," Elizabeth noted frostily.
"So," Rodney said, finally lifting his head, the first of the four to experience Elizabeth's ire head-on. He smiled uncomfortably at Weir, and gamely turned to Sheppard in an attempt to change the subject. "Didn't you fly for NASA? That must be something that you miss. Of course now you get to fly Ancient spacecraft, and alien vessels for that matter. I mean, you have flown Wraith ships, after all. But still, that must have been, um, exciting, and, uh, fun. For you," Rodney trailed off.
"Actually, Rodney," John answered, finally looking up to see Elizabeth staring him down, "it wasn't NASA. It was something else, but if I told you about it, then I'd have to kill you." John stared at Rodney, as though looks enough could kill. They continued to play chicken with the staring for some time, but Rodney being Rodney, he would never allow the silence to go on for too long.
"Then tell me now," Rodney pleaded sardonically.
"Don't tempt me," John threatened. The look John sent Rodney was anything but threatening, though it was dangerous in mixed company. McKay could not fight nor hide the upturn of his mouth and the amusement that he delighted in with the exchange.
"Oh my God," Elizabeth said, looking to Teyla for confirmation. The Athosian woman smiled, understanding what Elizabeth finally saw. It pleased her that what she had sensed with these two men was really true.
When Rodney realized what had just happened, the grin disappeared. He turned to John and said, "You are such an ass."
"Ah, come on, Rodney. Cat's out of the bag."
"And that was your place to make it so?" Rodney asked uncomfortably as he looked around the room. "Ass," McKay reiterated, taking his turn.
Elizabeth smirked at the two men, though she frowned a little at Rodney's reaction. How had she not seen that before? That spark. But of course she had, hadn't she? She'd always found great amusement and seen great affection in the interactions of her chief of science and the head of the military on this adventure. So many things made sense now: their closeness, their ability to work so well together despite McKay's obvious scorn for the military. Sheppard's extreme reaction after Arcturus. Yes, John's reaction then wasn't at all about affection, was it? It was now clear that it wasn't disappointment and lack of trust in the scientist, either. It was so very much more. The realization that Sheppard and McKay were together, and enjoying sex, tickled her even more, despite her own personal envy of that fact…so long as she didn't think too much about the possible repercussions.
She turned her focus to Beckett and Zelenka. "Are you two…" she started to ask.
Radek and Carson looked at each other and quickly denied a relationship.
"No," Radek said forcefully.
"Heavens no, Elizabeth," Rodney insisted.
"Not that there's anything wrong with, well," Radek hesitated, looking first to Sheppard, who had an amused smile on his face, and then to McKay…who didn't. "I mean, Rodney and the colonel…" Zelenka didn't know quite what to say next.
"They're a lovely couple," Carson finished for the Czech scientist.
Rodney McKay turned to John Sheppard once again. "I stand by what I said earlier." He paused dramatically, and then added, "Ass." Everyone at the table could now see that McKay wasn't kidding anymore.
Carson finally broke the uncomfortable silence that had settled in the room. "I miss me mum's scones. She would make them fresh, from scratch, every mornin', with a nice pot o' tea in the sky blue teapot. Luvly," he reminisced.
"That's nice, Carson," Elizabeth said. She looked at Rodney, who was simmering in his chair, looking down at the cards on the table, though she doubted he was seeing much of anything at that moment. She thought maybe engaging him would be better than letting him shut down as he was so obviously doing. "Don't you agree that Carson's memory from home is nice, Rodney?"
Rodney looked up. "Oh yes, Elizabeth. Looovly," he replied in his most condescending tone, mocking Beckett's Scottish brogue.
"Rodney," John said calmly, knowing that he had started Rodney on this particular downward spiral. "There are things that we all miss. It made you feel good to think about your mom's scones, right Carson?"
Beckett thought momentarily and then said candidly, "Only briefly, John. Now I'm feeling just a little distressed thinking about it, and her. I do miss her." Rodney looked to Carson with a sad grin, knowing exactly what he meant.
Rodney stood up and said, "I'm calling it a night."
"Dr. McKay, please don't go," Teyla pleaded with a warm smile.
"I'm tired. And I have a big day tomorrow. Good night," he said as he turned his back and left the room.
The game broke up after that, with Radek excusing himself to do a final check in the labs, and Teyla and Ronon sensing an important conversation coming that was as private as some of the events of the past minutes should have remained. They said their good nights, leaving Sheppard, Weir and Beckett alone.
"Well, that was one of my dumber moves," John admitted as he looked regretfully to the door.
"You had the best of intentions, John," Carson said. "But Rodney's very sensitive." He looked Sheppard in the eye. "Very private." The physician wasn't telling the Air Force man anything he didn't already know. "You might have asked him first how he felt about being outed."
"I…" John sighed and then lowered his head dejectedly. "That wasn't my plan." The anger in his tone was directed entirely at himself.
"You need to be more careful, John. You are projecting your feelings, at least when your guard is down," Elizabeth advised.
"I'm not ashamed of us," John defended.
"I'm not saying that you are or that you should be. I'm just telling you that you need to be careful, for your sake and for Rodney's."
"I know. You've got to know that this wasn't anything that I wanted to have happen. I sure didn't want to upset him like that." Elizabeth and Carson looked at Sheppard with sympathy. "I've got to…"
"Go," they said, encouraging him to head after the upset genius.
John smiled. "Sorry," he said as he left the room.
"I don't envy the colonel right now," Carson said.
"No," Elizabeth agreed. "Rodney's sure to let him have it, in private."
"Aye. Rodney was definitely holding back in here. I'm surprised his tongue wasn't all bloody."
Elizabeth laughed lightly. "They'll be okay. They always are in the end, aren't they."
"It's what looove is all about," Carson joked, echoing Rodney's sarcastic mimicking of his accent from earlier. Elizabeth smiled at the comment, and helped Carson to clear the table.
2150 HOURS, RODNEY'S QUARTERS
Though he felt like leaving John in the hallway all night, he preferred to not have a scene outside of his living quarters. The way John had acted earlier, Rodney McKay wasn't sure that he could trust in his lover to do the right thing to avoid such a circumstance. Rodney unlocked the door.
He stood at the entry as John stepped over the threshold. "Can I come in?" Sheppard asked. Rodney stared at him a moment and then walked away.
"You're in."
John winced. He followed Rodney inside. McKay turned to him and asked, "Why?" Sheppard stepped up closer to McKay, but Rodney stepped back, clearly projecting his desire to remain apart.
John stopped in his tracks and said, "I don't know. It was partly the liquor, partly being among friends. Some of it was your fault."
"My fault?"
"Yes. Your fault. You were having fun. So was I. I always have fun with you, you know that. I guess I just let it get out of hand."
"No kidding," Rodney returned, still standing stiffly and too far away for John's taste.
"Look, I'm sorry. But you should know that those people are your friends. They are our friends. They care about us."
"I know who they are. And I know what they mean to me. I learned that the hard way. I don't need a lecture from you about that. And I don't need you, nor do I want you speaking for me on things that are private. This was private, John."
Sheppard looked at McKay, unable to hide the pain he was feeling at what he'd done. He knew that he had screwed up.
"You always hurt the one you love," Sheppard said, wincing at the hollowness in the awful cliché.
"That is so stupid, and unbelievably, it's true." Rodney shook his head. "No, it's not. I'm not hurt. Well, okay, I'm a little hurt. I thought I could trust you to be discrete. How could I have been wrong on that?"
"I honestly don't know. Elizabeth said I'm projecting my feelings for you."
"You don't do that." Rodney challenged the notion.
"I think I do, just a little. She said it's only when my guard's down."
"Hm." Rodney thought about it carefully. "I suppose." Rodney had not yet relaxed from his earlier defensive stance. In fact, it seemed worse to John as Rodney folded his arms across his chest.
"I don't want this to mess things up with us," John said miserably. The look he sent Rodney's way told of his desire to make things right with his lover.
"How long have we known each other?" Rodney asked.
"Long enough?" John asked shyly.
"Long enough for you to know that I'm a very understanding and forgiving man," Rodney couldn't keep the grin away.
"Yes, that long," John agreed readily.
Rodney had finally relaxed enough to take note that John had his hands behind his back, as though standing at parade rest. But that wasn't what John Sheppard was doing.
"What's going on behind your back?" Rodney asked.
"I brought you something," John answered.
"You did?"
"I did. I thought I might need to offer an olive branch."
"Well, you didn't. I'll get over it," Rodney admitted.
"I know. And I am sorry. I'll be more careful."
"As you said, the 'cat's out of the bag'."
"Rodney, those people are not going to say anything," Sheppard insisted, his thumb pointing in the direction of the game room.
"Fine." Rodney was less sure of that fact. Though McKay had learned a lesson during that frightening time in the jumper on the bottom of the ocean, he still found it hard to trust 'that' much in his friends on Atlantis. This night hadn't really helped much in that regard.
Rodney leaned to the left to try to catch a glimpse of what was hidden behind Sheppard's back. "What did you bring me?"
Sheppard brought his right hand forward and revealed the surprise. Rodney snorted and asked mockingly, "And that's for 'me'?"
"Well, I guess it's really for both of us." John Sheppard wiggled his eyebrows at his lover.
"There might not be any left for you," Rodney said as he stepped into John's personal space.
"I'll get my fill some other way."
"Good. Then take off your clothes flyboy," Rodney ordered as he shook the can of Redi-Whip that he took from John's hand. "Apology accepted."
The End.