All I Really Want
"Serina?"
Her boyfriend's heavy voice caught the blonde's attention. He was rarely so dark and serious sounding anymore, and certainly never hesitant to talk about anything at all with her.
She lifted her eyes from the pile of books on his coffee table. It was just a bunch of college books she was studying of his, a couple biographies
she'd never be caught reading outside of his apartment. The lives of policewomen, teachers, women in American politics, among several others on even more various subjects. Right now she was poring over one his medical texts, studying the section on pediatrics and everyday tips on dealing with younger children's small injuries.
Serina caught his eyes, and seeing that thoughtful swirling gray in their blue depths, she slipped her bookmark into place and closed the book. He wasn't angry or afraid as he sometimes was when he brought up certain topics concerning their future- but he *did* seem concerned. And from the set of his face she knew he was about to bring up something else he didn't feel easy about their destined fate.
"Serina, when you were younger, what did you want to do with your life? What did you want to be?"
Serina had to purse her lips and bite her cheek. How could he ask that? Her most honest answer was the last one he would ever expect simply because it was exactly what she had now. She knew he wouldn't accept it, if only because he'd think she had changed her mind since she knew what had to be and didn't want to risk losing him or Rini. So she had to convince him, but how do you convince someone like Darien of a truth he couldn't ever comprehend? He never had a real family, he didn't understand the mentality of a mother.
Now to see if she could show him.
"When I was very little, I used to pretend I was a princess, because-
well, I knew I was." She looked past him, a soft smile on her lips as she remembered that innocent fun. "Then I found out I *couldn't* be a princess
because I had to protect my family from anyone who might come looking for me." Her smiled dropped a little, a tiny crease forming between her brows. She still didn't seem to see Darien sitting in front of her. "So my dream changed to
being a superhero or a policewoman so I could protect those I loved." Her gentle smile returned.
"But at the same time, I was helping to raise Sammy and baby sit him and the other kids that played with him. I loved being with the children so much, even now, that I wanted to be teacher. They all looked to me and I loved being depended on and respected and loved. I had to protect them, guide them, and take care of them when they were hurt or when Sammy was sick. Those times I wanted to be the best nurse ever to make sure Sammy and my friends would never hurt or become sick." Serina's eyes refocused on her boyfriend. His eyes were light and a faint grin tipped the corners of his mouth.
He might just understand . . .
"I watched my mom during all this time, and it didn't take me long to
realize that everything I wanted; to be loved, looked up to, relied on, to take care of and protect those I love, to advise and teach and be a friend to- Was everything my mom was. She was a wife and mother, and that's the best thing in the world to ever want to be." Serina looked at him, a light laugh in her expression. "I have always wanted to get married and have a family. That way I can be *everything* I've ever dreamed of being."
Darien chewed on his bottom lip as he smiled, slowly shaking his head at the book in his lap. He chuckled and looked up again, meeting her with a defeated delight.
He understood.
"Serina?"
Her boyfriend's heavy voice caught the blonde's attention. He was rarely so dark and serious sounding anymore, and certainly never hesitant to talk about anything at all with her.
She lifted her eyes from the pile of books on his coffee table. It was just a bunch of college books she was studying of his, a couple biographies
she'd never be caught reading outside of his apartment. The lives of policewomen, teachers, women in American politics, among several others on even more various subjects. Right now she was poring over one his medical texts, studying the section on pediatrics and everyday tips on dealing with younger children's small injuries.
Serina caught his eyes, and seeing that thoughtful swirling gray in their blue depths, she slipped her bookmark into place and closed the book. He wasn't angry or afraid as he sometimes was when he brought up certain topics concerning their future- but he *did* seem concerned. And from the set of his face she knew he was about to bring up something else he didn't feel easy about their destined fate.
"Serina, when you were younger, what did you want to do with your life? What did you want to be?"
Serina had to purse her lips and bite her cheek. How could he ask that? Her most honest answer was the last one he would ever expect simply because it was exactly what she had now. She knew he wouldn't accept it, if only because he'd think she had changed her mind since she knew what had to be and didn't want to risk losing him or Rini. So she had to convince him, but how do you convince someone like Darien of a truth he couldn't ever comprehend? He never had a real family, he didn't understand the mentality of a mother.
Now to see if she could show him.
"When I was very little, I used to pretend I was a princess, because-
well, I knew I was." She looked past him, a soft smile on her lips as she remembered that innocent fun. "Then I found out I *couldn't* be a princess
because I had to protect my family from anyone who might come looking for me." Her smiled dropped a little, a tiny crease forming between her brows. She still didn't seem to see Darien sitting in front of her. "So my dream changed to
being a superhero or a policewoman so I could protect those I loved." Her gentle smile returned.
"But at the same time, I was helping to raise Sammy and baby sit him and the other kids that played with him. I loved being with the children so much, even now, that I wanted to be teacher. They all looked to me and I loved being depended on and respected and loved. I had to protect them, guide them, and take care of them when they were hurt or when Sammy was sick. Those times I wanted to be the best nurse ever to make sure Sammy and my friends would never hurt or become sick." Serina's eyes refocused on her boyfriend. His eyes were light and a faint grin tipped the corners of his mouth.
He might just understand . . .
"I watched my mom during all this time, and it didn't take me long to
realize that everything I wanted; to be loved, looked up to, relied on, to take care of and protect those I love, to advise and teach and be a friend to- Was everything my mom was. She was a wife and mother, and that's the best thing in the world to ever want to be." Serina looked at him, a light laugh in her expression. "I have always wanted to get married and have a family. That way I can be *everything* I've ever dreamed of being."
Darien chewed on his bottom lip as he smiled, slowly shaking his head at the book in his lap. He chuckled and looked up again, meeting her with a defeated delight.
He understood.