Spring had come at last. Kate smiled as she performed the household chores, it was strange to believe that she was the same person who had once thought she would never be able to return to a normal life, in the years after the group had been pardoned from their outlaw status and she had married Allan she had slowly gotten used to living in a house again and by now no one could really see she was any different from the other village-women. She was so deep in her tasks and her thoughts that she didn't notice her five-year-old daughter leaving. Only when the sun was high in the sky – and she had been working since dawn – did she notice; feeling the fear welling up inside her she raced out to the field where her husband was working.
"Allan!" She called. "Allan!"
Seeing his wife's panicked look Allan A'dale dropped what he was carrying and ran across the field to where she was standing.
"What's wrong?" He asked, worried.
"Sofia's gone! I haven't seen her since… since… oh God! Allan. I don't know. What if she, was if she has drowned?"
She still feared the river, Allan knew that, even after all those years she still sometimes awoke, bathing in sweat, after a nightmare. A nightmare which wasn't about her drowning but about her being too slow to save her younger brother Mike, in recent years, she had told him, it wasn't Mike drowning any longer but Tom or Sofia. Now he felt the fear lurching into him as well; the pure thought of his sweet little baby girl dying was almost unbearable, but he couldn't let Kate see his fear, he had to remain strong.
"Think, Kate." He said, seizing his wife around the arms. "Where is the most logical place she would've gone?"
"Will's and Djaq's place. You know she has always been fascinated by Djaq's stuff."
Together they raced back to the village and over to the house where Will and Djaq lived together with their two sons and Will's younger brother, Luke. Djaq was sitting outside, preparing some herbs, when she saw them coming. Noticing the worried looks on their faces she quickly stood up at hurried towards them.
"What's wrong?" She asked the accent to her voice almost completely gone over the years so now it was only her darker skin which gave her away as not being born English.
"Have you seen Sofia?" Kate asked.
"No…"
Now utterly terrified Kate turned away and buried her face in her hands. Oh God! She couldn't be dead. Not her sweet little girl.
"We'll find her!" How did he do it, her Allan? In almost all their years together he had possessed a remarkable ability to reassure her every time she felt the ground slip beneath her.
"We'll find her!" He repeated. "Because we have to."
But where? Where could she have gone? How long had she been gone? Kate didn't remember when she had last seen Sofia and suddenly she felt like such a terrible mother; she couldn't even keep an eye on her little girl.
"What's wrong?"
The question made her snap out of her thoughts, looking down she saw eight-year-old Jack, and the younger of Will and Djaq's two sons.
"Sofia is gone." Djaq explained her son.
"Oh." And without wasting anymore time he hurried away from them while constantly calling Sofia's name.
"Is Sofia gone?" it was Marian who was running towards them, probably alerted by Jack's calling. "She might have wandered off into one of the other villages, look there. I'll go to the convent, Bonchurch is on the way, I'll ask Much and Eve to look around there."
"Allan." Came Robin's voice. "Let's go and have a look in the forest."
Together the two men raced off towards the edge of the huge forest, Will would've liked to follow them but he was busy repairing a barn which had been damaged in the winter and not even his cousin's lost daughter was an excuse to abandon his work.
"Mum. What's wrong?" Kate was on her way to Nettlestone when she saw the four boys come towards her. Allan's and hers son, Tom as well as Dan, the older of Will and Djaq's sons, Edward, the son of Robin and Marian and little Robin, Much and Eve's son.
"Sofia's gone." She explained and instantly she saw the fear well up in her son's eyes. Tom adored his baby sister, so much that he even picked fights with much older boys if anyone dared say something bad about her when he heard it. – not that it happened that often since Edward would help his friend as often as possible, and no one really wanted to pick fights with the son of the Sheriff.
"We'll go to Nottingham and look for her there." Edward offered.
"Thank you." Kate smiled to the boys who quickly raced towards the gate while she continued towards Nettlestone.
XXX
But Sofia wasn't any of the places her family and friends where now searching desperately for her. She had seen a pretty butterfly outside the house and, as the curious five-year-old girl she was, she had followed it. When she had lost sight of it something else had sparked her interest, then something else, and something else. Thus she had wandered for hours, obvious to both the world around her and time's passing, deeper and deeper into Sherwood Forest but in another direction than where the Outlaw's camp had once been, the area where her father and Robin of Locksley had gone to look for her.
Suddenly her foot caught a root and she fell flat to the forest floor, only now noticing where she was she got to her feet, fear raging through her small body. She was lost! She was going to die out here, lost and alone. Her parents had told her about how beautiful the forest was in the spring; she didn't think it was beautiful, just scary; the huge trees rose naked towards the sky which was slowly turning darker. She was going to die, she knew it; she couldn't survive a night in the forest all alone. She had heard the tales about how her mother had survived alone for a whole year, lost and confused, not knowing who she was, but mummy was strong. Mummy could do anything. Mummy had singlehandedly defeated thousands of Prince John's men with a broken shoulder. – At least that was what Tom had told her. – She wasn't strong; she was just a little girl. She was hungry. She hadn't eaten since the morning but she was too scared to eat any of the plants in the forest, what if they where poisonous? Not that there were many plants that early in the spring anyway. She was cold too, shivering in her dress. It had been warm enough back in the sunshine in the village but out here, in the shadow of the trees and with the sun almost set beneath the horizon, it was freezing.
What was that? A sudden noise made her heart lurch. Were there bears in the forest? Her parents had never said anything about bears but surely the bears would be scared by her parents and their friends. No bear would be scared by a lonely little girl. Did bears eat people? Maybe not grownups but she was so small, just a little snack to a bear.
"Mum…" she cried. "Dad…"
Where were they? Why weren't they coming running through the trees, assuring her that everything would be alright and taking her home where she would get some nice hot soup before being tucked into bed? Had they even noticed she was gone? What if they didn't care? What if they were only happy to have lost her?
There were so many shadows. Scary shadows. What if they were evil spirits waiting to seize her? She had heard tales about spirits living in the forests, spirits of people who couldn't move on. They were doomed to roam the world of the living until the Day of Judgement the priest had said, and priests always spoke the truth.
Once again her foot caught a root and she fell down. Bad tree! Bad, bad tree. It was like the trees were moving closer together, hindering her progress and lifting their roots, making her trip over and over again.
Bad butterfly for making her follow it. Somewhere deep within her heart she knew it wasn't really the butterfly's fault, but it was easier to blame it. She was scared, and cold, and hungry and alone. A series of coughs ripped through her body, making her fall to her knees. But as soon as she had stopped she staggered on; too scared of bears and spirits to stop and rest. What if she lay down and fell asleep never to awaken again?
It was completely dark now. Branches hit her all over, her face, her body, ripping her dress to shreds. Her arms and legs were covered in small cuts from various thorny bushes she had more or less fought her way straight through. Some plants had poisonous thorns, aunty Djaq had told her; one cut and the poison would enter your bloodstream. What if that had happened to her? Her mummy had once almost died after being his by an arrow covered in poison.
The entire world was spinning and the ground was rocking beneath her. Was she sick? She didn't feel too well. Her body was burning, but she was cold at the same time. Was this fever?
At last the exhaustion coupled with the hunger and the fever which was indeed raging through her body became too much for her, she staggered, fell down and was still; falling into a deep fever induced slumber.
XXX
Earlier in the day a travelling company; just four men on their horses, came to the edge of the other side of Sherwood Forest.
"Come." Their leader said. "Let's make a shortcut through here."
"But." Said one of the other men. "It'll be dark soon. I've heard there are outlaws living in this forest."
"There haven't been outlaws living here for more than ten years. And even if there was what those outlaws did was an honourable thing; they took from the rich and gave to the poor. Surely we would've been fine even if we had lost a few of our possessions, just a little of what we have could feed a whole family. But there isn't any need of that anymore. Robin of Locksley, the Sheriff of Nottingham, it's him we're on our way to visit."
Without waiting for the men to answer the leader of the group rode into the deep forest and after a while he heard the other three men of the company behind him, he halted his horse a little, allowing the others to catch up with him. Together the group through the forest, not even caring to stop for the night.
It was totally dark when the youngest of the company suddenly stopped his horse.
"What's that?" He asked, pointing into the trees. Jumping off his horse he went over to see what it was. Quickly one of the other men took the reigns of his horse.
"It's a little girl." He called back to the others, who had stopped too. "She's burning with fever." Picking up the girl he carried her back to his friends and handed her to one of his friends who weren't occupied with holding his horse before he went over and re-mounted it.
"Where did she come from?" the man who was now holding the girl asked.
"She must have come from one of the villages surrounding Nottingham. Let's take her with us to Locksley."
If the group had found it unnecessary to rest before they now knew there was no time; the little girl was burning with fever, she needed medicine and a warm bed soon.
XXX
They hadn't found her. Not anywhere. No one in any of the villages had seen her. She wasn't anywhere around Bonchurch or the Convent either. Robin and Allan had returned empty-handed and even though the boys had asked some of their friends from Nottingham to help look for her they too had returned without having found her.
She couldn't sleep. Not with her little girl out there somewhere, lost and alone. Or, worse; dead. So this was how her parents had felt the long and terrible year when they had thought she was dead? Somehow she had know it had been terrible for them but it was only now, when she thought her own child was dead, she finally realized how terrible it had been for them. She knew Allan wasn't sleeping either, he was pretending to, trying to remain strong for his family, but Kate knew better; during the years she had learned to see through her husband's small tricks, it had begun already before they were married, when they still lived in the forest. He could trick everyone else into believing he was asleep but not her.
A small sniffing sound from the other side of the small room told her that Tom was awake too, lying in the makeshift bed by the fireplace, crying for his baby sister even though he long ago had declared that he was too old to cry. It had been almost dark before the boys returned from Nottingham, the three others dragging a struggling Tom along. He had screamed at them, screamed that they had to find her. When he had realized none of the others had found Sofia either he had attacked people at random, kicking to buckets and innocent hens wandering around, until Allan had seized him and dragged him back into the house. Not to punish him but to give him a change to let go of his emotions in a less destructive way. One thing was crying in the safety of his own home but it was something else to be crying in the full publicity of Locksley, in front of his friends.
Looking back at her husband she noticed he had opened his eyes, no longer pretending to be asleep. He reached over and encircled her in his arms; sighing Kate buried her face in his chest and breathed in his smell. How many times hadn't they spent nights together like that? First in the forest, lying on their bunk in the camp, and later in their house. No matter how scared she had been his slow breathing had always been able to calm her down. This time, however, there was no calming breathing. Her eyes were burning with tears which she didn't even bother to try and stop. After a while she felt hot tears run through her hair as well.
"Is someone missing a little girl?"
The question made them both sit upright in their bed, Tom too in his bed. Allan jumped out of the bed and left the house, racing towards the people who had asked the question, four men on horses. Kate and Tom jumped out of bed too and short after Allan came in, carrying Sofia in his arms.
"She's sick." He explained, while laying her down into Tom's bed. "Tom. Go get Djaq!"
Nodding Tom hurried outside to fetch the physician.
Realizing that he would only get in the way if he stayed inside Allan went over to the men who had found Sofia; they were talking to Robin who had come out from the manor.
"How can I ever thank you for finding her?" He asked. Nothing he could do or say could fully show how graceful he was that his daughter had been found.
"Don't mention it." Said one of the men, probably the leader. "My friends and I have not been blessed with children ourselves but we can all imagine what a terrible thing it must be to lose a child."
When Djaq heard Tom's yelling she instantly jumped out of the bed and hurried towards Allan and Kate's house. Little Sofia was lying in her brother's bed, burning with fever. Wasting no time Djaq went over and examined her.
"There's no poison." She said and heard the relived sight from Kate. Djaq knew the thought which had crossed her friend's mind, maybe from the very second Allan had carried the girl inside; what if Sofia had been poisoned by the same sort of poison which had once almost killed her? Back then it had been easy; they had only had one wound to worry about. Sofia was covered in cuts.
Standing up Djaq went over to the fireplace and started preparing something.
"You need to take the wet clothes off her." she said to Kate who instantly did as her friend told her. After a while a lovely smell spread through the small house and Djaq poured something into a little mug.
"Here." She said, giving the mug to Kate. "See if you can make her drink this."
Carefully Kate brought the mug to her daughter's lips and slowly, very slowly, made her drink a little of the drink Djaq had prepared.
"Make sure she stays covered." Djaq said. "I'm sorry Kate. But there's nothing else I can do now. Now we just have to wait, and hope, and pray."
XXX
The trees were laughing at her.
"Stupid little girl; chasing a butterfly, getting lost in the forest. Stupid little girl". Evil menacing faces glared down at her from all over.
"Where's your mummy?"
"And your daddy?"
"Or your brother?"
"They're not here!"
"Not here!"
"Not here!"
Hands seized her and tried to drag her along. She tried to fight them. She wouldn't follow them.
"Come with us." The laughing voices said. "We'll take care of you. Your family won't care about such a stupid little girl!"
No! She wouldn't! Wouldn't! WOULDN'T! She wouldn't listen to them. Bad voices. But they were so many and so strong; she was just a little girl.
There were voices, bad voices. But slowly she heard other voices as well, good voices, nice voices.
"I think she's waking up."
"Sofia, sweetheart, can you hear me?"
Yes. She would follow the nice voices. She knew those voices; that was her mummy and daddy.
Slowly she opened her eyes and looked directly at her mummy.
"Hey, sweetie." Her mummy said, gathering her in her arms. "You gave us all quite a scare there little girl. Do you want something to eat? Maybe some nice warm soup?"
Still feeling too weak to speak Sofia simply nodded and felt her mom letting go of her. Looking around she saw her dad come towards her and kneel down besides the bed.
"I'm not being funny." He said, using his age-old expression. "But I was so scared my little Peek-a-boo had died."
'Peek-a-boo' was his special nickname for her, she didn't remember when he had started calling her that, but it was their secret; not even Tom or their mum knew about the name. Slowly she realized where she was; in Tom's bed. But where was Tom?
Motioning with his head her dad pointed towards something on the floor and now she noticed what, or rather who it was; Tom. Slumped together beside the bed. Tom, her older brother and protector who had once attacked a bunch of older boys in Nottingham because they had made fun of her.
"Tom has hardly left your side." her dad explained. "You've been sick for five long days and he was there, almost all the time. Even when your mum and I had to leave to work. He has just been sitting there, quietly, only leaving when it was absolutely necessary and then coming back as quick as he could."
The wonderful smell of her mum's soup was slowly spreading through the house. Carefully her dad helped her into a sitting position while her mum brought the soup over.
"Here you go sweetheart." She said, handing Sofia the bowl.
The soup was wonderful. Just the kind of soup only mothers could make. Letting her mother help her she drank she soup, feeling the strength return to her body.
"What's going on?" A tired voice suddenly asked. Looking over the bowl she saw Tom slowly sitting up and caught his eyes. Instantly a wide smile grew on his face.
"Sofia." He said, standing up. "You're awake!"
She had finished the soup so her mother removed the bowl and went over to clean the fireplace. Smiling Tom jumped into the bed besides her and hugged her. Before long they were both fast asleep.
Turning away from the fireplace Kate saw her children sleep together, smiling she went over and covered them carefully. Her two beautiful children; Tom had his arms wrapped around Sofia and even while sleeping clearly showing that he would beat up everyone who dared to mess with his baby sister.
Hearing the door Kate looked to see Allan come back inside, carrying some firewood. Realizing both their children were asleep he went over and unlike he usual loud dropping the wood into the basket – something he had started doing when Tom was just a little boy and, finding out the child liked it, had made a habit out of – he very carefully put the wood down before he went over to his wife, hugging her from behind.
"He needs the rest." She whispered. "He hadn't been sleeping for days!"
She was right. The only reason Tom had been sleeping in the end was because he had literally fallen asleep; dropping from the small stool he had been sitting on and only miraculously avoiding hitting his head on something.
"And neither have his parents." Allan whispered, knowing full well that if Kate got the chance she would stand there the entire night, looking at their children. Not that he didn't want to do so himself; even after all those years he still had a hard time believing that he, a throughout dishonest man, a trickster and a liar, had a wife so beautiful and two such wonderful children.