"What?" he said as after rereading the scroll.

"I've been doing great on Solo missions. Why can't I keep doing more?"

"Because you need a change of pace, Naruto."

Tsunade had a point. Ever since his first assassination mission, he had developed a taste for doing it.

'What a fucking finish to your glorious streak.'

And the news did not sit well with his current spiritual tenant. The fox too, was growing fond of Naruto and his methods. it enjoyed watching Naruto's entertaining ways of getting to his target.

"Indeed." He said with a frustrated sigh.

"So you'll take it?"

"I wasn't talking to you."

She gave him a harsh stare.

"…your highness the fifth and oldest Hokage in leaf's history." he said with a bow and an exaggerated tone.

Ten minutes later

"Ouch." He said sarcastically as he brushed the dust off of his shoulder. He looked back and nodded at the hole in the mansion…and the crack in the mountain.

"Nice jab. I'd hate to be the guy who annoys you with his sarcasm."

She grumbled under her breath. Usually, he'd be out of her office after a two minute brief but now, he was testing her patience.

"Take it."

"Okay."

"Really?"

'Really?'

"Sure. It's just a week, right?"

"Wait…did you really read the scroll? I mean thoroughly." She asked dubiously as she pointed the scroll at him.

"Of course I did. It's a guard job, right?"

She tightened her grip around the scroll. He had to be very careful with his next words.

"…a guard job that takes a week?"

Five minutes later

"Do you know how annoying it is to walk up all those stairs with a broken but healing skeletal system?"

"Well I guess now you know how much it hurts to do this with you."

'Ouch. Ouch indeed, soulmate.'

"Guh…fine. Let's get this over with. I wanna go home and watch Lamia hentai again. What am I supposed to do?"

Naruto's House

He sat on his couch with a nervous yet monotonous demeanor. Next to him was the fifth hokage and he could feel the chakra gathered in her fist. One wrong word and he would be flying for the next two days.
across him stood…'his jobs'.

"Okay honey. Introduce yourself." The mother gently whispered as she patted the little girl's head.

The little girl was wearing a pink Kimono with yellow flower patterns on it. She had dark hair and bright brown eyes that shone with the youth of her age. She was currently holding what Naruto guessed to be her little sister.

"Hello and Good morning, Hokage-sama, Naruto-sama."

'Dafuq did she just call me?'

'oh god…I just threw up in here.'

He killed a chuckle in his throat as he felt Tsunade's glare on his temple. The pressure was killing him. Literally. He felt like his body was burning and he knew his face was red.

"I'm Fuka. I'm nine years old and this is my little sister, Kimiko." She said with a smile as she approached Naruto.

'Oh no.' he thought as his eyes widened.

'Oh no.' Tsunade thought as her eyes widened and for some reason, the chakra in her fist doubled, increasing the pressure on Naruto.

'oh no.' it thought as it felt the chakra in Tsunade's fist pulsate.

"here." Fuka said as she put the baby in Naruto's arms.

Now one must look at the situation scrupulously to grasp the weight of the situation.

It was Wednesday morning. Besides Tsunade, three guests (and possible murder witnesses) were currently present in his house, which was quite unusual as he never had guests.
He had had the great streak of thirty nine missions in a row and was about to hit forty when by a stroke of luck, he was stuck with what was unfolding. A baby, who was currently reaching for his hanging bangs. A little girl who was smiling as innocently as Naruto's Virginity...which was by far the only clean part of him left. The mother who was smiling proudly at her little darling's acts of cuteness and politeness. To top it all off, Tsunade's stare was drilling a hole in Naruto's red face. If he didn't know any better, he'd think she was actually hoping he'd do something stupid so she could empty all that chakra on his face.

Thirty seconds of awkward silence

"Umm…Naruto-Sama?"

'Bleeargh!'

"Huh?" he blinked after coming back to reality. He just realized that the baby looked like she was about to cry. her blue eyes began to mist over as she desperately moved her hands towards his face.

"I…think she wants you to play with her."

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to do that." He said in a hurry as he passed the baby back and began fiddling with his fingers.

"So!" Tsunade interrupted, eager to finish this. "Naruto. Do you have any questions for Kitama-sama?"

"Er…I read the scroll but…what should I do, Kitama-san?"

"Well, I asked for a capable man to protect my daughters for a month."

"Is…that it?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow. He tapped Tsunade's heel inconspicuously.

"Haruno." She ordered and a pink-haired ANBU with black combat suit walked out of the kitchen.

"Why don't you show the girls around?"

After the girls were gone, Naruto relaxed a bit as he felt Tsunade's fist settle down.

"Considering you have the perfect little girl and an infant…I must ask myself…how could a mother part with her children like this?" he asked as he poured himself some green tea. He was careful not to make eye contact with Kitama. It would put her on guard and he didn't want that…not yet anyway.

"Do you know our background, Uzumaki-san?"

"Seeing how well-mannered and well-dressed your child was, I'm guessing you're not exactly proletariat material." He said before sipping his tea. "and i'm saying that in your own dialect, Kitama-sama." he finished with a hint of sarcasm. "I do hope that you are not planning on leaving the kids with me just because your family is in danger."

He thought he had the worst moment of his month last week when his connection was interrupted just when the lamia was about to answer the human's proposal but no. what happened next was the new worst moment of the month for him.

He cringed and gripped the teacup in his hand as Kitama knelt down and put her forehead on the wooden brown floor.

"I beg of you, Uzumaki-san. Please protect my girls."

"Kitama-Sama." Tsunade exclaimed as she looked at her in surprise.

'Don't do it' it whispered as Naruto put the teacup down and stood up.

"Your end doesn't justify the means of your action, Kitama-san. Just because danger is about to befall your family, you can't leave your children with me."

'Yes. You.a porn-watching-'

"what if what you fear happens?"

'trap-laying-'

"What if you die?'

'heartless-'

"What do I say to them?"

'Fuck.'

"Answer me!" he shouted with ire evident in his voice. her silence only added to his frustration and rage. he was breathing vehemently now.

"Calm down Naruto!" she ordered with the tone of a hokage.

"Don't take her side! You know I'm right! You know that if they're going to die, they should die as family! Why bother leave behind the kids?" he asked as he turned to the begging woman.

"Did you ask them? Huh? Did you ask Fuka if she wants to live with the fact that her parents are dead and she has to take care of Kimiko?"

Kitama began sobbing. His words were cutting into her like hot diamond knives. she already knew what she was doing and how horrible it was but she was desperate and she had no choice. the thought of her children dying was worse than the thought of abandoning them.

"You…wouldn't know, Naruto-sama. *hic*. You wouldn't understand because you're not a mother."

"And you wouldn't understand because you're not an orphan." He whispered as he opened the window.

The evening breeze was a welcome change. It soothed his burning face. He knew his face was red as a beet right now. He felt Tsunade move towards Kitama. He assumed that she's probably going to help her stand up. What he didn't expect when he turned around was a kneeling Hokage.

"You're right, Naruto. She's not an orphan. You are. That's why…if anything happens to her, you'll be the perfect guardian."

"Guardian?...Guardian?!" he repeated furiously. He didn't ask for this. All he wanted to do was to continue being successful and keep watching weird hentai until he died. Now, by some twist of fate, this was happening to him. Yesterday, he was tinkering with a new type of trap to decapitate his target and now, he was going to have to clear his rooms to take care of two kids for a month…maybe a lifetime.

'Just refuse.' It shrugged as it knew exactly what Naruto wanted.

"I ref-"

He couldn't finish. How could he? He was dumbstruck by what he saw.

'when did she come back?' he thought as he cursed his luck and turned around. Fuka was standing by the door, staring at her mother in that humiliating position.

"mommy?"

"Hokage-sama?!"

"Fine! Just…Leave! Let me think."

Time seemed to stretch forever for him. It took them ten seconds to leave but Kitama's appreciations, Tsunade's grateful look, Haruno's stare and Fuka's questioning look on his back made it feel like hours. His body was hot and burning long after they were gone.

Elsewhere

"How are the plans coming along?"

"perfect. We manged to cut a deal with the Uchiha. There's no way the Kitama will survive now."