A/N: Hi, I'm new to , but this stupid fanfic is written more than ten years ago at an old chinese Command&Conquer forum, the Conquers. all the characters are members of it, hope my pals don't mind i translate and post this old stuff here ;) be expecting lots of grammar error and broken language! sadly Westwood is no more and Command&Conquer is belonging to EA now.
Central Asia, Some-where-the-fuck-stan
Forward operating base of the freaking Conquers
Base commander aka site manager DELPHI: Alright guys! as you all know Christmas is near, but all our presents...are still piled up back home, all thanks to our diligent logistics department!
all anger conquers look daggers at the head of logistics department, aka site maintainer NIGHTMARE.
NIGHTMARE: ZZZ...ZZZ...two more minutes...and fire your complains to the farthest nuclear plant...
DELPHI: to avoid the awful fate of ruining Christmas for lack of presents, a task force must be dispatched to the supermarket nearby to make purchases! but according to satellite scan, there are GLA forces infested nearby, so it's an extremely dangerous mission...six volunteers are needed, and i choose: 鸭子, WILLII, KKND, 琉蓝, HIUYUEN, and of course you RAVAGE!
RAVAGE: you call this voluntary?! (looking backward and discoverd all others backing off) damn it!
at the airfield
the volunteers are preparing within a Chinook helicopter.
inside the cockpit
YEXINAD: engine?
WILLII: checked.
YEXINAD: navigation?
WILLII: online!
YEXINAD: portable chronosphere module?
WILLII: ...when the hell we got that?
YEXINAD: curse that lazy engineer/modder RAVAGE!
meanwhile, at the cargo hold
RAVAGE: what's going on with those two Humvees?
琉蓝: KKND's idea. don't you know that so this Chinook can carry more than half?
RAVAGE: ...of people! not presents! Grrrrrrrrrrr!
finally the helicopter takes off, and proceeds to their destination. as they pass through a slum area, YEXINAD just turn-on autopilot and focus on his adult magazine while WILLII playing videogame, nobody cares about the dangerous environment. ofcourse a squad of GLA soldiers detected the Chinook and decided Christmas or not they're getting their own presents.
YEXINAD: hehehe check this baby out...
WILLII: damn! leave me along you disgusting 3-dimensional lover!
one GLA soldier stood up, with a CD-ROM drive on his shoulder, and ejected a stream of some knock-off role-playing game CDs at the Chinook!
YEXINAD: goddamn RPG!
in the depth of despair, Chinook 1 doing all the dodge it can while deploying flares, yet one of its rotors still get hitted, ineluctability crashing to the ground.
YEXINAD: IWANABEHITTEDBYFALLOUT3 AHHHHHHHHHHHH
(yes this fic was written before that)
HIUYUEN: IDON'TWANNADIEIAMSTILLVIRGINNNNNNNNNNNN
RAVAGE: stop using capital my eye hurts!
on the monitors of the FOB, the Chinook 1 disappeared in a huge dust cloud.
DELPHI: who the hell forget to return that Blackhawk Down DVD?
inside the hulk of Chinook 1, RAVAGE managed to crawl into the cockpit: hey somebody still not dies?
YEXINAD: i'm okay but WILLII may not make it...
WILLII moved a bit
RAVAGE: this soldier has done his part...
WILLII: ouch...my head...
RAVAGE: His heroic deeds...
WILLII: hey guys i'm alive
RAVAGE: should be remembered...
WILLII: I'M FUCKING ALIVE FUCK YOUR FUCKING SPEECH YOU FUCKING MECHANICAL DOG-
(RAVAGE took out his pistol and seth-headshoted WILLII)
RAVAGE: ...forever!
KKND: oh my god he killed WILLII!
琉蓝: you bastard!
(WILLII was using kenny as his forum avatar)
RAVAGE: how's the radio?
YEXINAD: still working but the microphone is gone, now it's receiving only.
there are communication noises coming through
RAVAGE: no problem they can still get us through the spydrone's cam.
at the FOB commandcenter
DELPHI: our brave volunteers have gone...but their sacrifice will not be not be wasted! by my order: target all our Nuke Particle Cannon and MOAB at the crash site, bomb all the neighbourhood to the stone age!
DELPHI: we should watch the biggest firework show in history!
(all freaking conquers cheering together)
(on the monitor screen, the sidedoor was pushed away, a hand reach out to the sky, firmly giving the finger)
(then grumbling voices of discontent filled the whole commandcenter)
DELPHI: shit missed the chance...again! sigh get me ZM HENSON the commando!
to be continued...