So, here's the first of the THE SHOT REQUEST SHOW! This was suggested by Twilightmom67, where Edward gives Nessie the "birds and the bees talk" I thought it was a great idea! You gave me lots of other suggestions too and I'll do some of the other ones too.

Any other requests, PM or leave 'em in a review guys!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

My hands danced nervously over the ivory keys as I practiced some simple scales in an attempt to calm myself down. I ran over everything I planned to say to Renesmee in my head once more. Bella had told me what her 'talk' from Renne had been like, whilst I pointed out significant differences with this situation.

"Bella, she's a half vampire and he's a werewolf, it's slightly different to two teenagers having a fumble in the back seat of a car"

She'd laughed at that, her wonderful melodic laugh, "Edward, you didn't break me when I was human so they'll be fine"

"Well, Jacob is a little more . . uncontrollable. Honestly, you should've heard what he used to think about you in Forks"

"Edward, shh. Don't worry, just talk to her as if you're having piano lessons. You'll be fine, you're great at everything, remember?" she winked.

And then we'd had a 'demonstration' of our own.

I was shaken from this memory by the familiar footsteps of my daughter walking up the driveway. She walked at a normal, human pace, which meant she must have a friend from school with her. I sighed, thankful that I had a few more minutes to prepare myself. I continued playing as they walked through our front door, I shouted a greeting from the sitting room as they continued upstairs.

"Ness, did I ever tell you how hot your brother is?" said Renesmee's friend, Sally, "and he's only like, a year older than us, seventeen right?"

I grinned to myself as Nessie thought, "Dad, I know you're listening. Stop it now!"

I tried my best to concentrate on my piano playing and not to listen to Sally's rather imaginative fantasies as her and Nessie spread out their homework.

Sally left an hour later and, with a sense of dread in my stomach, I called, "Ness? Can you come down here for a moment?"

"one second I have to call Jake"

The feeling in my stomach tightened. I had always known she grow to love Jacob in a more than brotherly way, I had just hoped it would've been when she was a little older than fifteen.

"Yeah dad?" she spoke out loud this time, prancing down the stairs, her auburn curls swinging and her brown eyes alight.

"I need to talk to you about something" I said, clearing my throat nervously, talking deep, pointless breaths.

"What's going on?" she though, sceptically.

"Don't worry. It's nothing bad . . at least, I don't think it is. I need to talk to you about your eh . . relationship, with Jacob"

"Oh" she said, talking a seat in an armchair opposite us.

"Yes, well, as I'm sure you're aware you're mother and I are growing increasingly concerned over the . . physical aspect, of your relationship. Because when a man and woman love each other very much they- "

I didn't need to read her mind to see the realisation in her eyes. "Oh god, this is so embarrassing, he called me down for a sex talk?!"

"Yes" I admitted, "Look Ness, you're my baby. You're growing up, not for much longer but still, you're at that age where your body will be feeling certain . . urges. And I just want you to be safe."

"I am safe" she said, looking slightly confused.

"No, safe" I said, trying to explain what I wanted to say with my voice. This was my daughter, my baby girl. I didn't want her to do this, if I could plan her life it' be off to the convent with her. I wonder how nuns would take to half vampires?

"Do you remember the time we went to the park and we saw those two dogs and they were- "

"Dad, I'm sixteen. I know what sex is" Ness thought.

"Ok, ok"

She didn't say anything.

"So, have you . . ?" I trailed off suggestively.

Images of her and Jacob in varying states of undress flashed through her mind before she tried to stop thinking.

I rose to my feet instantly, "I'll kill him!"

"No, no dad. We haven't . . done it" she said, "but we have . . "

I had told myself I wouldn't get mad. But I couldn't help it. "I am not having a dog touch my daughter. It's bad enough I have to see him kiss you goodnight before I throw him out of the house every night!"

If I'd had my way I would've dragged him outside by the scruff of his neck and chained him up. I didn't think Bella would humor that however.

"Dad! You're over reacting!"

"I am not over reacting! You can tell him to keep his paws off of you until you're married!" I yelled, slamming my fist on the coffee table and splitting it in two.

"How can you say that?!"

I pinched the bridge of m nose, "I'm sorry. Renesmee, I imagined this going so much better"

I sat down and looked at her, her arms crossed stubbornly.

"What I wanted to say was . . your situation is unheard of. There has never been a half vampire romance with a werewolf before. I don't know what could happen to you, could you get pregnant? Probably. I personally think we should just get him neutered"

"DAD!"

"This isn't happening. This is just mortifying"

"I'm embarrassed too Ness" I said, trying to comfort her, "but we have to get this over and done with. Just . . pretend I'm a friend from school. I'm kind of the same age"

"Dad, you're nearly a hundred and twenty"

"Exactly, I'm young"

She laughed at that, "ok"

"Ok so . . Is there anything you'd like to ask me? About . . sex?"

Hundreds of questions ran through her mind before she settled on one, "Does it hurt?"

My stomach clenched again, "It shouldn't hurt you. Vampire skin"

"Ok . ."

"But, if he ever hurts you, I give you my full permission to punch him as hard as you possibly can. Then

"Anything else? You know I'll know if there is" I said, tapping my head as a reminder.

"I want it to be romantic and perfect. I don't want it to be after prom or . . y'know. I want it to be special"

I coughed, "eh . . ok. Well, I'd prefer if you didn't at all- "

"That's not an option dad. Remember?"

"Right . . " I said.

"Where did you and mom first . .?"

This conversation was definitely not going the way I wanted it to.

"Esme's Island"

She sighed, "that's so romantic"

"I try" I said shortly. I was still angry that Jacob has put his filthy paws on my daughter, "and don't go thinking I'm going to let you run off to some desert island with some mongrel that can't keep his hands in his pockets"

"Stop calling him that!" she shouted.

She got up out of her seat and ran out into the garden, to the swinging seat her mind showed me had seen more than it's fair share of heavy petting between her and Jacob.

I ran after her, crashing through two walls in my attempt to get outside and tear that seat apart. She however was already sitting on it.

"Jacob will be here soon"

I shook with anger, "when he gets here. Bring him inside and sit in the living room with two feet between you at all times"

"Dad! It didn't bother you when we sat out here before!"

"That was before I knew that you had . . "

"Just go inside dad. Don't eavesdrop either, in any way"

"Don't forget our talk. Or the two foot rule. And don't forget I can easily kill him"

"I won't. And you wouldn't kill him because it would make me and mom unhappy"

She had me there.

"Promise me one more thing" I said.

"What?"

"Don't ever take sex advice from Emmett"

So the first of the one shot request show! What did you think? Leave reviews with your comments and/or requests for more! Or just PM me your requests!

- Ciara.