Title: Love of the Passing Soul

Disclaimer: Hey everyone, just wanting to let you know that this story will be following the Brotherhood series of Fullmetal Alchemist. Edward, in this story, is 19 and Alphonse 18. Al is still bound to his armor and Ed is getting more desperate to find a way.

So anyway, that's all for announcements. I'll try to leave as few Author's Notes as possible. Pardon grammar mistakes, i didn't have time to read over this. Enjoy chapter 1.

Chapter 1

-The Hidden Dagger

Boots made of heavy black leather came stomping through the puddles, sloshing more water upon the soaked sidewalks. Hands, one of flesh and the other metal, were firmly stuffed in a black jacket with a silver pocket watch chain draping lazily out of the side of a pocket. Edward, with his white blonde hair flowing freely behind his back, trekked on through the rain and the freezing winds. He shivered, feeling his chapped nose and lips scream against the icy winds scratching. He brought his arm up to shield his face, cursing himself about being too stubborn to purchase an umbrella.

The steam of a passing train he had just unbounded shot into the sky, unleashing its loud squeal, signaling it was moving again. Sparks were flung from the burning metallic wheels as the clicking of the gears contracted against the railroad. Ed didn't listens as the train went east, eventually leaving him alone as he continued his quiet trek back to central.

The storm didn't make things easier, dropping his visibility down to almost nothing. The cold air ate at the stumps his automail were bound to. He tugged on his black jacket, spotting the oil stains creasing his white shirt. He groaned, knowing all too well his eighteen year old brother bought him this shirt right before he left. But the blame shouldn't be entirely on him, he thought the 7ft armor that housed his brother's soul knew he couldn't wear white with his greasy mechanic limbs. He shrugged his shoulders, he'll just have to take it when he gets back.

Ed walked for several miles, dodging cars that flew past him on the road. He observed the train tracks that sat to his left, with a bright blue rippling river to right. He couldn't decide which one to study, so he settled with staring at both. His sun gold eyes swapping sides every few minutes.

His mind wandered back to his departure about two weeks ago. For eight years Edward had been a dog of the military, and for eight years, he and his brother have been searching for Al's body. Ed shook his head, he knew his brother's body was okay, after witnessing it on the other side of the gate himself. But, for some reason, it seemed Truth was playing more tricks on them. With each new lead he found on the philosopher stone, despite knowing its ingredients, it continued to allude him. Ed gripped his flesh wrist, squeezing it tight, despite the bruise forming. His light steps shifted to heavy stomps.

Ed scowled at the memory of that human shaped white haze with big teeth being his only visible facial features. He wanted to bound across the white void and rip that devious entity in half. But he knew there was no chance of that happening.

Now his job of the military was becoming more demanding, forcing him to put his search on the side. Usually, his little brother would accompany him wherever he went on missions. The last two years had required him to go solo, forcing Alphonse to anxiously wait for his return. This new change had really hurt the armor that was his little brother. Al would, one moment, be spending time with his beloved eldest brother before something suddenly came up, and forced Ed's departure. Ed knew it drove Al crazy, but he was relieved to know these burdens were becoming his alone to bare.

Ed was so lost in thought, he failed to hear his boots clasping against cement. Walking a few more feet, streetlamps became more apparent to him. Looking up, Ed was surprised to see himself already at entrance of central.

"Geez," he muttered to himself. "Have I been so lost in thought I honestly failed to remember how long I've been walking?" He winced, feeling the sheering burn of his non-metal foot riding up his calf and into his core. The pain confirming he had indeed been walking longer then he anticipated.

He limped on, feeling the heaviness of his automail really starting to wear him down. The new scars he had received from his last mission pulsed beneath his crinkly shirt and black pants. Ed, now 19, was thankful he had grown some. He was about midway up to Al's chest, making him an inch or two taller than Winry. He smirked, but that pride in being taller still didn't keep him from exploding when others taller than him poked fun. Taller yes, but by everyone else's standards, he was still short for a newly adult male.

Ed started at his mismatched hands, stress induced veins webbing their way up his flesh arm. Memories of the attempt at the taboo still lingered in the back of his mind. It was like poison, intoxicating his already weak blood stream. Sleep alluding him, as well as shipping away his self-confidence. He smacked his automail hand into a nearby wall. Trying to channel his frustration and take it out on something safe, like the wall.

After dragging his feet for eight more miles, he stood before the military compound he and Al had been living in for eight, soon to be nine, years. He sighed, kicking a nearby pebble and walking up the long stairwell. He strolled inside and descended up the next set of stairs. As he went up, his muscles locked up, nearly making the alchemist fall backwards. He grabbed the wooden railing, gritting his teeth as the ache sky rocket up his pulsing muscles. Even his automail, unbothered by organic functions, was spazzing out.

Ed bit his tongue, tasting red drops of blood leak between his white teeth. His metal hand squeezed the wooden rail so tight, it cracked and splintered beneath its strength. As quick as it started, the pain vanished as if it never existed. Ed panted, feeling sweat fall between the gap of his parted bangs. Running his sleeve across his freezing skin, he continued on.

Counting the door numbers till he found his, he dug into his pocket and fished out the silver key. He unlocked the door and stepped in, the floor creaking under the weight of his boots. His eyes darted around, being greeted by a familiar sight.

A few lights were on, leaving the room dimly lit. The main light was in the kitchen, a tall bulky shadow loomed through the open door way. Al was standing in front of the counter, a knife in hand as he chopped up the carrots. The suit of armor was so distracted he didn't even hear Ed's arrival.

Smiling at the sight, Ed shut the door and tip toed to the couch, trying not to disturb the eighteen year old. He knew Al was informed by Colonel—I mean the Führer bastard of when he would be returning, which was today. So, if he had to guess, Alphonse was making him dinner, like he always did.

Ed was as quiet as a mouse, till his automail leg clanked. Though the noise was small, it didn't go unnoticed by the towering suit of gunmetal colored armor. Putting the knife down, the hulking suit turned and saw his brother lounging lazily on the couch in all his black clad glory. Dropping the carrot he had in his other hand, Al ducked through the door and rushed to his brother's side. He dipped to his knees and capture his older brother in a tight hug.

"Brother, thank goodness you're okay," he whispered out hoarsely. Darkness veiling his bright ruby red eyes. His helmet creaked when he laid his cold chin against his brother's warm shoulder. He didn't need to feel to know the feeling. "You left before I even had a chance to say goodbye, I was so worried."

Ed tried to stifle a chuckle, unable to fight the bubbly warmth that arose in his gut. Though at times it was awkward, he loved his little brother's motherly like nature. It reminded him so much of their mother, it was actually the only thing keeping his ailing mind sane.

"Sorry Al," Ed whispered, pressing his flesh hand on the back of Al's helmet. "It was a bit of an emergency, I tried to write you letters on the train when I left Central. But I guess you never got them."

Al finally released the grip of his hug and stood up, once again dwarfing his brother in size comparison. "Just, try to inform me next time. You know I've been uneasy ever since the military started sending you solo." He went back to the kitchen to continue making dinner. "I'm making you a salad and some blue berry waffles, so hope you're hungry."

Ed grunted and smashed a hand to his face, his youngest brother cooked the weirdest combos sometimes. "You know it's a little late for waffles, huh?"

"It's a special treat for you actually coming back on time." Al answered, waving a spatula over his head. "You know I always make something special when you actually listen for once, and coming home on time is one."

Ed shrugged. "You're such a good wife Al, how am I so lucky?" He smirked, taking his mind of the burdens with a few good teases. After all, they say laughter is the source for medicine.

Al's broad shoulders clanked in a nonchalant shrug. "Well someone has to do the house work around here. I've seen your cooking skills, and I'm not one to risk a fire hazard."

Before Ed could shoot back another comeback, a loud 'meow!' noise hit his eardrums. Falling silent, Ed slowly turned his head to Al's bedroom. He studied the empty space, looking for the source of the noise. Spotting black hair, his blonde antenna popped up in irritation. "Al, did you go 'looking around' the park again while I was away?" He could already tell, but might as well give the youngest Elric a chance to defend himself.

Alphonse eyes fell and a bright pink shade washed over the four open slots on his cheeks. "Uh, well, funny thing, I uh—" Another loud meow cut him off.

Before Ed could fall into his usual freak out diplomacy mode, three kittens pounced from the book shelf and landed on him. He started at the black triplets before shooting Al a red demon eyed look. "Alphonse…"

"Okay okay, I found the kittens and brought them back before their mother died and I was alone and needed company because you weren't home so what else was I supposed to do!?" His words blurring together at the rate he spit them out.

Ed could feel a vein pulsing on his forehead. If he had to guess, there might've been six orphaned puppies stuffed in the closest or something. "How many animals can you actually stuff into that armor of yours!?" He yelled, ignoring the kittens that crawled into his shirt and pants.

"N-not as many as you think, a-anyways, dinners almost ready!" Al yelled, bounding away from his brother's scorching hot stare.

Edward sighed and removed the soft balls of fuzz from his clothes and returned them to Al's room. Thoughts on his brother's gibberish excuse stalked back into his mind. He found his anger burn down to flickering embers. He couldn't be mad at Al, he was alone more often when the military called him away. He decided about letting his brother keep maybe one or two of the cats.

He sat back down on the couch nearby, twiddling his thumbs. Watching the back of his brother as he flipped the waffles, Ed couldn't help but feel something stab him. He could feel it, the ache returning to his inners, stabbing his heart like a twisting dagger. Remembering the fact his brother couldn't eat, sleep, or hell, even feel came stampeding back. Ed leaned back against the soft sofa. It wreaked with lemon scented spray.

'How can I continue when my brother has been stuck SO long in that suit?' Ed's thoughts reaped, he stared at his brother longer.

He knew he longer they went, the more anxious Al was getting in that suit. Ed knew he was growing used to it, almost as if he forgot he was even human. Alphonse was adapting, getting so well suited to the suit, it almost seems like he'd always been one. This disturbed Ed beyond all belief, he was relieved Al was getting a long better with himself, but he didn't want him to forget.

Ed looked away, unable to watch his younger brother set up the table for a late night breakfast. The dagger in his heart was cutting harder, faster, it almost reached the bottom of his heart. Eight years doing this, he knew he was failing his promise to his brother.

Alphonse didn't know, but Ed was getting desperate. The elder Elric could feel himself falling closer and closer to the end of his rope. At one point, he almost committed the taboo a second time and just give up his whole being; just so his brother could be whole. But the thought of seeing his brother cry always stopped him, forcing him back to square one.

"Ed, come on," Al's voice snapped him back into reality.

Sighing, Ed forced himself up and drug his feet to the table. He gifted his brother with a fake grin, something he knew reassured Alphonse. It worked, the armor laughed and handed his brother a fork.

"Why don't you take off your coat, brother?" Al noticed the shivers racking the eldest.

Ed froze, remembering the nasty stiches on his chest from when he was shot on the last mission. He didn't want Al seeing till the wound was healed, and he could just claim it was an old scar.

"Ah no no, its fine," he couldn't even think of an excuse to leave it on.

Strong hands grabbed his shoulders and forced the jacket off him. Ed grunted a loud 'Hey!' before his brother's stern glare shut him up. Ed tugged on his white shirt, hoping it'd be enough to hide the wound. "Geez, ya didn't have to almost rip my shoulders off," he complained, jabbing the fork at Al's back accusingly.

Al tossed his brother's jacket in the laundry basket. He hated doing it, but as they grew older, Ed was becoming more stubborn; which he didn't even think was possible. So he found himself just acting with Ed instead of asking. He watched his gloved hands undo his blue loincloth and toss it in the basket with his brother's wet jacket. He wanted to cover up, he felt so naked without the only clothing he wore. Guess there was still some left over human desires, even for a disembodied soul.

"You know its pointless asking you, brother." Al hoisted the basket up, keeping it in front of his waist to hide his imaginary exposure. "Now, while I go downstairs to wash, please change so I can get the rest of your clothes. Will give me something to do while you sleep."

Ed almost chocked on his orange pop, wiping his mouth clean while looking at his brother. Pupils shrunk to pathetically small orbs as he looked away. "S-sure, I'll change before you come back up."

Al noticed the weird tone change and tilted his head. "You okay, brother?"

Ed saw the concern boiling over in Al's voice and quickly swatted it away. "Oh yea yea!" He called in a forced upbeat tone. "Just hungry is all," he jammed the food into his mouth, cracking a smile despite the burn churning his stomach.

"Well...," Al didn't really feel like bantering with his brother. "Alright, I'll be back in fifteen minutes or less, don't go sneaking off, and finish dinner please, I slaved over that meal for forty minutes."

Ed nodded when Al turned and walked out. The second the door shut, a tear slipped free from his eye ducts. Wiping the salty liquid on his nail, Ed observed it. "Wow, and here I thought my eyes were forever dry…" he wanted to believe they were, so he could better understand his brother.

Snarling, Ed laid the food down and let the hungry kittens eat it, he'll just lie and say he hate. The throbbing in his wound made the heavy in his heart all the more worse. It was like his body was flipping him off. He hated himself so much, failing mission after mission to find a new lead for Al, he was failing his promise!

Ed went to his bedroom to change into dark blue pajamas, thick enough to hide his minor wounds. He folded the wet garments and laid them on the couch's arm for Al to grab when he returned for the second load.

He dragged himself away and laid on his bed, staring at the falling rain behind his hazy reflection. Tightening his fist, he clutched the stitches that rested right above his heart. He realized now, he was not going to get to his limbs back. He had a new wish.

'I just want to give my brother's heart back, I don't care about my outcome anymore… I just wish, I could take his place.'

The hole that trailed through his chest activity pulsed from his rocking heart. Just like every other night, pain had knocked him into an unconscious void. Paralyzed before the nightmarish claws that grabbed him by his ankles and drug him under.

Like every other moment before, the pain wishing the gunmen hadn't missed his heart by just a square inch.