a/n: Crack fic up ahead. Written in a little over an hour, so bound to be full of mistakes. Result of an incredibly bored author who had too much Coca Cola and has been playing too many Pokemon video games lately. Yeesh. Garu is completely OOC, and I embrace that. They're teenagers, btw, hence the swearing and all that jazz.

Edit: Typo fixed. Thanks KitKatBarStory!!

Absently wiping a trail of drool from his mouth, Garu continued mashing buttons furiously on his Playstation controller, watching gleefully as his ninja kicked the ass of the pathetic opposing ninja. Garu laughed manically as his ninja delivered a final blow that knocked his enemy out. He began to pose victoriously along with his pixilized counterpart, whom he had realized was easy and fun to control and live vicariously through, rather than actually going out and living a life of his own.

A worried pair of eyes watched him from the hall.

"Gah, Abyo, why the hell did you have to introduce him to that stupid game?! He hasn't gone out for weeks!" Pucca yelled, incredibly pissed. Garu had never really been a fan of her hugs and kisses, but lately he'd been worse than ever. If she so much as tried to sit near him while he was "in the zone", he'd viciously bark at her to "get the hell out!" The poor girl's heart was breaking more and more each day. Just when she thought she'd been winning him over!

"How was I supposed to know he'd get so addicted?" Abyo replied defensively. "Who the hell is so much of a loser they completely abandon life for a stupid, outdated video game?!"

"Apparently Garu is. Now you better snap him out of it or else!" Pucca threatened.

Sighing, Abyo shrugged. "You don't think I've already tried? You have no idea how much it sucks to have a best friend who refuses to spend any time with you if it's not time spent glued to a controller. There's nothing I can do about it!" Abyo shrunk under Pucca's angry gaze. "Alright, fine! I'll see what I can do!"

"Hey Garu!" Abyo said as he made his way over to take a seat next to his wild eyed best friend. "How about we leave this dump and go out to spar?"

Garu paused his beloved game to turn over and give his friend a "WTF is wrong with you, you dumbass" look. He wordlessly tossed a controller over to him and restarted the game. Abyo sighed. "Come on Garu. Let's go out!" When Garu shook his head intensely, Abyo frowned, until another idea popped up into his head.

"C'mon Garu. How about you and I go out and get some tail?" he said slyly.

Shaking his head, Garu immediately began scrolling through his character options, and stopped at a curvaceous, scantily clad blond warrior. He let out a content sigh and grinned. Abyo smacked his forehead.

"Virtual chicks? Are you kidding me? C'mon Garu, have you forgotten what being with an actual girl is like?" Garu stared blankly at him.

'Oh yeah' Abyo thought. 'I guess Garu never has been willing to experience getting freaky with an actual girl. Hmm.' His eyes caught sight of Pucca, who was watching diligently from the hall, and looking pretty hot in a short, low-cut red dress with her hair all the way down. He grinned and turned to Garu. "I'll be right back."

Pucca rolled her eyes upon hearing Abyo's plan. "Are you kidding me? Garu doesn't want me!" she muttered gloomily. "He never has and he never will."

Abyo, making sure Ching was not around, let his eyes scan up and down Pucca's figure before smirking. "Trust me. He'll want you. He just needs a little convincing."

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"Are you sure this will work, Abyo?" Pucca asked, feeling rather embarrassed.

Trying his best to keep his eyes from wandering, Abyo nodded vigorously. "Trust me Pucca. I'm his best friend. I can guess what his breaking point is."

Staring at her reflection in the mirror, Pucca blushed. She was wearing a tight, black lace corset with red trim that pushed up her breasts, making them look incredibly round and as though they were defying gravity. It cut off a couple of inches above the belly button, showing off her toned, flat stomach and slender waist. Meanwhile, she was not faring much better down below, where she was wearing only a skimpy red lace thong. Black heels with furry red stuff topping the front completed the sexy ensemble. She quickly applied some sultry makeup and messed her hair up a bit (making it look like sex hair XP) before taking a deep breath and making her way over to Garu, whose eyes were still glued to the television screen.

"Hey Garu," she whispered in his ear, sensually letting her lips brush against the sensitive skin. When she got no reply other than a grunt, she pouted. She scooted closer to him on the couch so that she was practically sitting on his lap. Her face reddened angrily when she realized he hadn't even noticed. Taking a quick breath to calm herself down, Pucca smiled seductively at him as she cupped his chin in her hand and forced him to look down at her.

Annoyed, Garu was about to shove her away. But then he actually let his eyes drink in her appearance and his jaw dropped. Throwing all forms of subtlety out the window, Garu grabbed her close to him, shoving her well developed body up against his and delivering a sloppy kiss on the lips.

Pucca, overwhelmed and feeling slightly dazed, could only moan into his mouth. Garu took this opportunity to eagerly shove his tongue in, while using one hand to squeeze her scantily clad butt.

Abyo, who was watching from the hall, blinked. Unable to say much else, he muttered, "Damn."

Pucca let out small gasp as she was shifted in position by a very forceful Garu and could now feel his hardened buddy (XP shrug) pressing up against her waist. Now, Pucca had obviously always found Garu extremely attractive and normally would've been walking on sunshine to have garnered such a reaction, but she knew things could not be so easy. She had to test him first.

Pulling away from his desperate and intense kisses, Pucca took a moment to catch her breath before finally speaking. "Garu," she started, blushing at the way he was gazing at her through half lidded eyes with a dreamy smile on his face, "you know your game is still on, right?"

Garu's head snapped back to the game where his ninja was currently getting his ass kicked. He then slowly looked back to Pucca, whom he had pinned underneath him and was looking adorable yet sexy blushing up at him wearing that skimpy outfit. Decisions, decisions.

Sensing his uncertainty, Pucca looked up at him with big, sad eyes and pouted. Seeing how this softened Garu's gaze a bit, she continued to nuzzle up against his chest, then, deciding to turn up the heat, slowly and sensually led his hand over to her own chest, her breasts threatening to escape their corseted prison with each ragged breath she took.

Boobies. That settled it for Garu. With one swift move, he shut off his game, not giving it a second thought. He grinned wickedly down at an overjoyed Pucca before diving down on her and completely ravaging her.

Meanwhile Abyo was still watching. Though initially frozen with shock, he soon broke out into a smug smirk. "So Garu finally got some tail. He owes me big time."

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Um. Yeah, there you go. That's what Steph aka Johnny writes like when she's bored. Eech. Apologies. Btw, ch. 3 of Raging Hormones is in progress and will probably be done by the end of the week. woot.