As I swiftly walked up the stairs against Edward's side, I felt the pace of my breath starting to dwell on an uneven pattern. My ears picked up the sound of Carlisle's soft steps following us from behind, while my eyes rested upon Edward's hard and distant gaze. It reminded me how much he wished that I had never given any consideration to this 'sacrifice' I was going to face shortly. Though he had admitted to accepting and understanding my need to be with him forever, his present concern was related to the pain I was going to experience. I was secretly glad that Edward was so anxious himself that he didn't notice my own anxious and nervous state.
As we were about to enter Edward's room, he pushed his hair back with his fingers and sighed in frustration.
"I'll be back in a sec, Bella," he said leaving in a quick pace. I myself sighed when he disappeared, but Carlisle promptly turned me around to face him. With the calmest expression, he gazed in my eyes with a smile. "Don't worry about him, Bella. It has nothing to do with you. Secretly, I think he just doesn't trust himself. I'm sure he'll calm down after he paces around in the bathroom for a few minutes."
I giggled and looked at the floor. Since Edward had been so nervous about giving me immortality in the past few days, Carlisle offered to stay near by and watch as Edward transformed me. He would quickly take over if something went wrong, though I highly doubted Edward's fear. Still, it felt comforting to know that he would encourage me throughout the process.
"Bella?" Carlisle's voice brought me back to reality, though I could hardly call it that. My definition of reality had drastically changed in the past year. I quickly responded by glancing once again in his vision of serenity. It calmed me down so much that I was sure Jasper was just around the corner. "I assure you that everything will be fine. I can't promise that the pain will be anywhere near tolerable, but you will be safe." I nodded in reply, afraid that the tone of my voice would reveal any hidden emotion. I wasn't sure how I felt exactly, but I didn't want to make Carlisle think I wasn't ready.
"I'm so proud of you, Bella. I want you to know that you really are a wonderful person, and will be just as good a vampire," He said with a smirk. I was going to protest his seemingly over qualified opinion, but he cut me off. "In all the years I've been with Edward I've never seen him so happy and alive. I'll always be grateful for what you did. I know you sometimes dwell on all the "danger" you sometimes put us in, though that hardly seems to be the appropriate word, but I assure you we all needed a little excitement in our lives. It's all quite amusing for us, actually." I laughed and rolled my eyes, amazed at how much of my guilt went away with those simple words. I knew Carlisle was being completely honest.
"Thank you, Carlisle."
"I would like to give you the option of calling me Dad…if you like. Technically you're now part of the family, and I wouldn't want you to feel the need treat me any differently from the others. I'm sure you know by now that I will always consider you as one of me own."
I gave him a warm smile, surprised by his acceptance. I knew he never had any objection to my getting involved with the family, but it was nice to hear it. I figured I would give a shot at calling him Dad. I loved Charlie immensely, but he would always be just Charlie. I knew I had to move on somehow. Though I felt pain after saying Goodbye to him for the last time as a human, I knew that I would someday return and visit.
Edward entered the room, a little calmer. He put his arms around my waist, and apologized through a whisper in my ear.
"Are you ready?" Carlisle asked. I nodded once again, ignoring the return of my nervousness. Before Edward set me down on his bed, Carlisle pulled me into a hug and patted my back. I grinned when I saw the corner of Edward's mouth slightly curl upward.
As I lay on my back, Edward sat on the edge of the bed beside me while Carlisle stood at the far end. I took a deep breath, and looked into my lover's eyes. I silently gasped at his expression. Never had I seen him look so distressed. I was suddenly the one feeling guilty for putting him through this, but all my emotions shattered when his face started its descent towards me. I closed my eyes, and held my breath. But just as I thought he was about to bite me, I felt his cold lips press tenderly against my own. His right hand came to rest on my chest, searching for what I knew Edward longed to hear one last time. I could hear my heart pound faster and faster as he deepened the kiss, and Edward seemed satisfied with the response. He chuckled lightly and pulled away. I smiled up at him, but his face became serious in an instant. Once again, he crashed his lips against my own but in a more urgent way. His lips then released themselves, tracing a path to me ear. A chill ran through my body as he whispered the last words I would hear as a human.
"I'm so sorry, Bella Cullen. I love you."
As soon as he pronounced the last syllable, he pushed my hair to reveal my neck, and sent is venom rushing through me like a bolt of lightning. A piercing scream filled the room, and I suddenly felt my body freeze. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, I could barely think, but my eyes were wide open. Any color that Edward had in his face was gone, and Carlisle stood there like a statue, almost waiting for my reaction. Then, like another strike of lightning, a pain so unbearable ran through my body that my lungs hurt from the scream I let out. I felt myself starting to shake, and my body arched upwards as I continued to scream and sob. I felt Edward's body crash against mine, and his arms rapping themselves around my waist. I rolled myself into a ball as Edward put me into his lap, but nothing could stop the pain that continued to grow with every breath I took.
"Dad! Dad!" I heard him scream. "What's going on? Why is she like this? Is this normal? Dad!"
Carlisle rushed to his side, and put his hands on Edward's shoulders. "This is a perfectly normal reaction, Edward. You did it perfectly, but now I'm afraid we're going to have to wait this out. But I assure you, this is completely normal."
Suddenly, the rage in Edward's voice became almost as evident as the pain dominating me. "NORMAL?! HOW CAN THIS BE NORMAL?! SHE'S IN COMPLETE PAIN! HOW COULD I DO THIS TO HER?" His face crashed on mine and he kissed me everywhere he possibly could. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I heard him cry out in agony. To my surprise, I felt his body shake with tearless sobs. I couldn't take it anymore! Why couldn't he read my mind when I wanted him too so badly? With my last strength, I swallowed a sob and open my bloodshot eyes to meet his. I clutched myself against his shirt for support, and made my words come out as clearly as possible.
"Don't..sa…say tha…t! Th…th…this is wha…t I want! I love y…you." I winced in pain and groaned between the words, but he successfully received the message. He took a deep breath and lay me back down on the bed. I felt Carlisle take my hand as he spoke clearly. "Don't push yourself too much, Bella. It'll only make it worse. I'll go get my kit and see if I can give you anything for the pain." He rushed out in one swift movement.
Though the pain was still very present in my body, the burning sensation started taking over. Edward lay down beside me, keeping a firm hold around my waist. I felt his trail of kisses around my face and neck before I started losing consciousness. The screams that filled the room became distant, though I knew they were coming from me.
Please R&R
