OKAY, so i know you're all probably like WTF WHY ARE YOU PUTTING THIS CRAP UP INSTEAD OF UPDATING ROOMMATES II?? i know, i know. i'm almost finished with it. but i got this stupid idea in my head and it's really hard to write good Sasu/Naru smut when you keep thinking about the Akatsuki acting silly. ao anyway, i got the idea in my head thinking what if Akatsuki wasn't exactly how they portray themselves? then i was like i be their morning routines are just kind of silly. i mean they take themselves way to seriously. i doubt they can be that serious all the time. so here is my kind of parody on the Akatsuki.

WARNING: language, kind of spoilers.
DISCLAIMER: i don't own the akatsuki. they're way too scary.

Itachi and Kisame

Itachi grumbled as he got up. It was way too early to do anything. Itachi put on his pink bunny slippers and straightened his ducky pajama pants before pulling on his fluffy light blue robe with rainbows and suns on it.

"Stupid leader making us wake up so early." Itachi said. He got out of his bed and headed for the door. "Damn it, stupid door getting in my way." Itachi grumbled when he ran into the door. Opening the door he walked down the hall. "Stupid wall." Itachi grumble each time he ran into the wall. He made it to the bathroom and after running into the door opened it to find Kisame playing in the tub.

"Raaawrr!" Kisame said making his toy shark eat his GI Joe doll... err... action figure. "Oh no, I'm bleeding and dying and in lots of pain!" he made the action figure say.

"Playing with your dolls again, Kisame?" Itachi asked.

"THEY'RE ACTION FIGURES!!" Kisame yelled.

"They're dolls." Itachi said. Itachi said. He went over to the sink. "Stupid sink, moving like that." Itachi said when he ran into the sink.

"I think you're going blind, Tachi." Kisame said.

"That's why I have contacts." Itachi said. He pulled the contact case out of the medicine cabinet and opened them revealing red contacts.

"You have Sharingan contacts?" Kisame asked.

"Do you know how much chakra I'd use to really keep my Sharingan activated all the time? I'm a master of illusions, Kisame. No one wants to fuck with a guy with his Sharingan activated. And I'm giving the illusion that I have my activated all the time." Itachi said.

"Lame." Kiasme told him.

"Says the guy playing with dolls in his strawberry bubble bath." Itachi rolled his eyes.

"THEY'RE ACTION FIGURES!!" Kisame yelled. After putting in his contacts Itachi found his brush and started brushing his hair.

"One, two, three..." Itachi counted each stroke all the way up to 100. After 100, he put the brush down and pulled out a hair tie and pulled his hair back.

"You're such a girl." Kisame said.

"Says the guy playing with dolls." Itachi said.

"I TOLD YOU THEY'RE ACTION FIGURES!!" Kisame yelled at him. Itachi opened a drawer and pulled out his mascara and applied it lightly to his eyelashes. Just to keep them pretty.

"Girl." Kisame muttered.

"YOU'RE PLAYING WITH DOLLS!" Itachi shouted and left the bathroom before Kisame could yell back at him. Itachi then went into his room to apply a fresh coat of nail polish to his nails. Kisame grumbled as he got out of the bathtub.

"They're action figured." He mumbled as he dried of with his fluffy lavender towel. He went to the sink and brushed his teeth twice, just to make sure they were extra sparkly. He then went to his room and walked up to his giant fish tank. "Good morning babies." Kisame sing-songed. "Who wants breakfast? Daddy's got some fishy flakes for his babies." He cooed as he picked up the jar of fish food and sprinkled some into the tank. He then checked the water pH and temperature to make sure the fish were going to be okay. "Okay, babies, daddy has to go to work. Oh, don't cry my darlings, daddy will come back don't you worry. Daddy loves his angels." Kisame cooed to the fish before he got dressed.

yeah so here are Itachi and Kisame. Itachi is totally a girl and i'm sure spends a lot of his morning routine grooming himself. I also have always wondered how Itachi could ALWAYS have his sharingan activated, my theory is contacts. Kisame playing with dolls in the tub, haha.