Welcome! This is a co-authored fic between SnowyFox and me. I wrote this first chapter, and as soon as his email starts working again (time estimates are around four millenia, but at least the sun will still be around), I'll post his part. It's gonna go back and forth- I think I'll be doing Keira's entries and he'll do Jak's.
Ready for some fun?? I've been dying to do a real comedy fic! This takes place shortly after Jak and Keira's wedding- it'll explain it. Fear not.

Keira: Entry 1

The wedding was beautiful!! Even though my wedding dress train kept dragging in the dirt and the bridesmaids stepped all over it. I thought I asked Tess to hold it up while I walked down the aisle with daddy... oh well. He only tripped on it twice; I told him not to wear those stupid wooden platforms. Anyway. The theme was silver and white, and Jak looked so handsome!

We had a lot of fun at the reception, even though Daxter got really drunk and made strange noises- I couldn't understand what he was talking about! At one point he was grabbing his throat and hacking up nasty green goo everywhere. I was going to call for an ambulance but Jak said that he was fine.

We had a great time dancing and the honeymoon was fun. We took a zoomer to the Temple and slept under the stars. I found out Jak has a huge-

Sorry, I had to check on the welding. Where was I? Oh yes, how could I forget this? Jak has a huge fear of bees. He was off picking me some flowers and he must've disturbed their nest! He came running back screaming and holding his, well, never mind. He didn't tell me what happened, exactly, but I think he was embarrassed to admit to me that he's afraid of bees. Poor Jak! That's okay. I have a secret fear of drilling a hole through my hand every time I use the air gun.

Anyway. Right after we got back from the Temple, daddy gave each of us one of these diaries! He said they're great for writing out our secrets, because only the owner can open them. Daddy's so silly! Jak and I don't keep secrets from each other. Oops, gotta run, the Precursor metal shavings have almost melted!

Jak: Entry 1

I don't like writing, but Keira (or is it Kiera? I can never remember) insisted we write every night cuz Samos took the trouble to make these journals. I told her that he should've just given me some ammo, but she looked at me funny and punched my arm. Ow. I didn't know girls could hit that hard.

So, um. The cover of this journal says, The Precious Memories of JAK. Only JAK is in totally different font so I just know Samos went all cheap and got books with write-in-your-own-nameplates. Whatever. It'll make Keira (Kiera???) happy.

The wedding was boring. Samos blabbed forever and ever about the powers of love and dedication and how important trust is and blahhhhh... Kiera looked damn good in that dress, though. Ashelin must've taught her the wonders of double-sticky tape, or it would've peeled right off. Which would've been fine with me, but her dad was there, and...

Yeah. I don't think I'm gonna finish that sentence.

Um. What else... Daxter did these really great impressions of Torn at the reception. I laughed so hard champagne came out my nose! Awesome. Good thing I'll never need to wear that tux again.

The honeymoon was great. Well. Let's just say everything was going real smooth til I went to this little field to take a piss... and stepped on a mother fu- hey! The journal won't let me write swear words. Damnit. There was a freaking bee's nest! Those little f--s stung me right where it mattered... sweet, jet-boarding Mar, I don't think I've felt anything that painful ever. And that includes the time Erol shoved giant needles of dark eco into my eyeballs. Luckily, they grew back. But I am kinda worried about Lil' Jak, if you know what I mean.