Only Him
(TRIGGER WARNINGS: SELF HARM)
XXX
Yusei Fudo sat in a dark alleyway, knife in hand. He contemplated whether he should start doing it again.
After Jack's betrayal, he had started cutting. Soon after that, Yusei was working on his new D-wheel. He wasn't sure why, but he took a nail, removed one of his gloves, and scraped it across his exposed skin. For a while, he just used the nail, but then he switched to pieces of glass and metal until he found a knife one day. Once Yusei had the knife, his cutting got much worse. Every time, he made more and more deeper, longer cuts.
The only reason he had stopped at all was because someone nearby committed suicide by slitting his wrists. His friends were so upset, and they hadn't even really known him. That was when Yusei realized how much it would hurt his friends if they found out about his cutting, or if he ended up like that man.
So, for his friends, he forced himself to stop.
But now, Yusei's resolve to never do it again was crumbling faster than he could rebuild it. He tried to hide it, but seeing Jack again hurt. His friends had been kidnapped because of him, and he's lucky that they're okay. He had to fight the dark signers, including his ex-friend who hates him.
And then there was that word.
That word that was there before Yusei even knew how to duel.
That word that people used to describe anyone from satellite.
Garbage.
Yusei couldn't even count how many times he and his friends had been called that.
Of course, his friends weren't garbage. No one else from satellite was either. It was only him.
He was garbage.
No matter how much he denied it, he knew it was true. They were all wrong about his friends being garbage. They were great people and amazing friends. They weren't garbage. But they were all right about him. He was garbage. What, really, had he ever really done that someone else couldn't have done? The only reason he has any importance to anyone other than his friends was because he just so happened to be the reincarnation of a signer. That doesn't mean he is that signer. That doesn't mean he's a hero. He's garbage.
Yusei stared down at the cold, sharp blade of his knife. He was garbage, so didn't he deserve the pain it would cause, anyway?
His friends flashed to the front of his mind. He still knew how upset they would be if they knew. He couldn't do that to them. They didn't deserve that.
But he didn't deserve for them to care about him that much.
And it's not like he ever really reveals his arms, especially around them. They would never see the scars or cuts covering his arms. And the scars were already there. They would be upset even if they just saw the ones he already had. What would be the difference if he added a few more?
Yusei slowly rolled up his sleeve and removed a glove.
He knew he could control it this time. He wouldn't get carried away. He could stop the knife from cutting too deep, and he could make sure the cuts stayed short and not make too many. He was older. He couldn't control it when he was younger, but he's old enough to stop himself from getting carried away. He was in control.
He was in control.
Garbage.
As the word reappeared in his mind, it pushed any remaining thoughts of his friends away.
He brought the knife to his marred wrist.
He pushed it down and slid it across his skin.
The blood started oozing out of the break.
Immediately, Yusei felt sick. He was so stupid! How could he do this again? In horror, he flung the knife away from him as tears began to fall from his eyes.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Garbage.
"No. I am not doing this again. No no no no," Yusei told himself.
He quickly wrapped a cloth around his wound to stop the bleeding. He put his glove back on and pulled his sleeve down. He then stood up and left the alley.
He left the knife behind.
XXX
Okay, so, this is the second Yugioh 5Ds fic I've written, and both have been about self harm. I have a message for anyone who might have read my first one. It's currently complete, but as I said at the end, I wasn't happy with it, and nothing got resolved. A guest review said some things, and they're right. So, I've decided to continue it, and hopefully give it a better ending.