Alright, so I was supposed to be writing the next chapter to "Shaded In", but I was listening to the song "I will Stand by You" by Marlisa Punzalan yesterday(Nightcore version). And that's when this idea hit me and I knew that I had to write this out. Hope you guys like it!
"That's as good as we're going to get." Violet sighed as she looked down at the map her and Clem had designed for the oncoming rescue mission.
They'ed spent the majority of the day planning the specifics. Burn the hay, take the supplies, get James to lead a herd towards the boat, sneak on board, place the bomb, rescue their friends, and make it out with as few casualties as possible. Preferably none, but things were never that simple, and it couldn't help but worry Violet. A dreaded feeling lingering in the pit of her stomach as the pressure weighed heavily on her shoulders. Lately, it felt like it was even hard to breathe at times.
Violet got up from her place in Marlon's chair and walked to the middle of the room and stared out the window. The sun was starting to set. Only one more day until they left to find their friends and bring them home. She kept her arms folded, a frown present on her face as she thought about how it had all come to this.
Her downcast mood not going unnoticed by her girlfriend. Clem folded her arms as she approached the blonde, taking a stance next to her. "What's the matter, Vi?" She asked, wanting to know what was troubling her.
Violet was silent for a minute before responding. "Clem?" She spoke in a soft voice. Clem turned to face the girl, a worried look across her face. "What happens if someone else gets caught while we're in there?" She turned to the brunette. "What if it's you?"
Clem was at a loss of words. Where was this coming from?
Violet closed her eyes as she thought about all the people she had lost. "I couldn't save Minnie. Or Lou. Aasim, Omar..." She opened her eyes and looked back out towards the setting sun. "I...I really care about you, Clem..." Her eyes glossed over, becoming shiny with tears that hadn't fallen. "If something happened to you because of me..." She turned back towards the brunette. "I can't lose you too."
"Vi, It'll be fine. You can't let thoughts like that take over." Clem tried to reason with her. Violet would never be able to think if she kept worrying herself like this. She's already doing so much. She needed a break from trying to run everything around here.
"I know, Clem...But what happens if the raiders find us. Lily...She'll kill you after what happened." Violet felt her chest tighten at the thought. It felt hard to breathe like her throat was closing up. She was trying her hardest not to panic. She was deathly afraid, not only for her life, but Clem's as well. She wasn't going to lose another person.
Clem grabbed a hold of Violet's hand. "I won't let that happen. I will stand by you."
Violet wanted to believe that, but her mind wasn't having it. "What if..."
She didn't get to finish as Clem gripped her shoulders and pulled her in, connecting their lips in a kiss. Clem pulled away a few seconds later and amber eyes stared into green. "The war in your head will shoot you down dead. So don't even try to win." Clem told her. "It's not worth it all in the end. I should know." Clem had quite the experience when it came to blaming herself for things out of her control. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart, so why even start.
Violet felt a slight smile ghost her lips at the kiss, but it faded as quickly as it came. "You better not disappear on me, okay?"
Clem smiled. "I promise." She gave Violet's hand a light squeeze. "Just think about what I said, okay?"
Violet sighed. "Yeah. Alright." She didn't think it would matter much what she did. She knew Clem was only trying to help, but it was like her words had fallen on deaf ears. Violet couldn't help but think negatively.
She gave Clem a fake smile. "I'll see you later, okay?" Then she turned to leave for her lookout shift.
"Yeah. See ya." Clem told her. Clem furrowed her eyebrows in thought. She could tell Violet was still beating herself up over this. She looked to the desk where the map lay and noticed a few stray pieces of paper and some colored pencils. A smirk made its way onto her face as an idea formed in her head.
Violet walked the empty halls of the school on her way back to her dorm room. It was dark now, the only light being the shine of the moon through a broken window. The eerie silence of the night normally would have been comforting, but it gave Violet an unsettling feeling. With nothing to distract her mind, it let her thoughts consume her. She couldn't stop worrying about all the things that could go wrong in such a short time. She felt her heart rate accelerate with each moment that passed. She needed to calm down, but couldn't suppress the feelings that were starting to break through.
Entering her room, Violet closed the door behind her. With her back against the wood, she slid down till she was seated on the floor, and hugged her knees against her chest. Her watch had been uneventful, which was great...right? She had tried to stay positive for Clem, but the negative thoughts just kept coming back. What if she couldn't save everyone? What if Lily captured the rest of them? What if she had done something to them? What if...Clem left her, again? Violet couldn't lose Clem. She just couldn't, not again.
She felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. After all this time she had held everything back. She always had to stay strong, always tried to bury her emotions, always tried to conceal what she really felt. This time was different. There was so much at stake, so many lives on the line. Everything had built up and now was about to spill over, like someone had kicked over her box of emotions that had been tucked away. There was so much weight on her shoulders, so much stress bearing down on her.
She couldn't fight it anymore as tears gathered in her eyes and fell down her face. Violet cried for the first time in what felt like forever. She buried her face in her arms as small sobs racked through her body. She tried to stay quiet so no one would hear her cries. She didn't want anyone to know she had finally broken down. She didn't want Clem to see her like this. She was supposed to stay strong for the people she cared about.
After a minute or two she had regained her composure. She wiped the tears from her face with her sleeve. She couldn't appear weak in front of everyone. She picked herself up from off the floor and went to put her clever on the dresser next to her bed before she went to sleep. But she walked over and noticed a folded up piece of paper that laid on her pillow. Curious, the blonde picked it up. Unfolding the paper, she read what was written in blue colored pencil...
Violet, I know things are hard right now. I've been where you are so many times before. I know I can't change the way you feel, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. When you fight for every breath, and the waves are overhead sometimes it's easier with someone there beside you. Just know that I will stand by you.
When all of your dreams are shattered, and your world is left in tatters. When you're lost, where lost together. If black is your brightest color. If hurt is your only lover. When you fight we fight together. I'll stand by...I will stand by you.
Love, Clementine.
Violet felt her heart beat wildly in her chest. Tears fell from her eyes again as she read the letter, but this time for a completely different reason. A single tear rolled down her cheek and dropped down onto the paper, seeping into the surface. She let a small smile form. God, did Clementine worry too much about her. But she loved her for it. Only Clem could make her feel this way.
Violet folded the note back up and pocketed it. She then proceeded to walk out of her room in search of the brunette.
She walked the halls of the building in search of the girl with the baseball cap. She found her at the end of the hall by the front doors talking with Ruby about something. Violet felt shy to approach the two girls, wanting to talk with Clem alone. She stopped in front of them, her gaze towards the ground afraid to say anything.
Upon noticing the blonde advancing towards them, Ruby could tell something was wrong by the way Violet acted. She took that as her cue to leave. "I'll leave you two alone. See ya later Clem."
Clem nodded in approval. "See ya." Then she turned her attention to the blonde in front of her. "What's up, Vi?"
Clem's smile turned to one of concern when the green-eyed girl didn't respond. Clem could see the redness of her eyes and could tell she had been crying. "What's wrong, Vi?"
Violet didn't reply, her eyes becoming glassy again. Instead, she lunged forward and enveloped Clem in a tight hug. She embedded her face into Clem's shoulder and couldn't help but cry.
Clem was a bit taken aback by Violet's sudden embrace, but she quickly hugged back, wrapping her arms around the blonde. "Hey, it's alright. I'm here." She rubbed Violet's back soothingly, feeling the other girl tremble under her touch.
After a few minutes, Violet hesitantly pulled away, wiping the tears from her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "I-I'm sorry." She apologized, knowing she had probably just soaked Clem's shirt.
Clem gave her a soft smile. "It's okay to cry, Violet. You don't have to be strong for me. I'll catch every drop..." She said as she brought a hand up to Violet's face and brushed away a tear with her thumb. Then she cupped her cheek and leaned in, placing a kiss to her girlfriend's lips. "...because you're worth it. I will stand by you through anything."
Violet brought Clem in for another hug. "Thank you." She softly whispered into Clem's ear. "I needed to hear all of that."
Clem smiled, knowing what her girlfriend was talking about. She was sure she had found her note. "That's what I'm here for." Clem told her. "I love you." She whispered placing her arms around the slightly taller girl.
Violet smiled, pulling her closer and buried her face into Clem's neck. Feeling all the weight from her troubles finally lifting. "I love you too."
Hope everyone enjoyed this!
An update to my other story "Shaded In" should be coming soon as well.
Secret Life of Writing Out! :)