The Wanderings of a Confused Heart

I am certainly straight. I am rather moved by stories with drama and a certain angsty feeling. And yes, I like Marimite. It is the second anime that made me cry.

I do not own Marimite.

And once again, I'm not gay and reading Yaoi or Yuri doesn't make you one.

Chapter 1 Musings

The day had been an ordinary one, the sun shone over the roof of the two-storey house of Fukuzawa Yumi. It is just really an ordinary day in the ordinary life of Yumi. Nothing new, everything is just as a bit ordinary.

Except for the fact that she had just started high school in Lillian Private Academy for Women. Her brother, Yuuki had just also started high school in Hanadera Boy's Academy.

She wondered if Lillian is really the school for her. She went there from kindergarten until now. Yes, financially she is capable of studying there. After all, her father is the company president of a designing office.

Her mother had studied there. And her mother liked her stay there.

But Lillian is a place for ladies. Not that she doesn't think she is not capable of becoming one. It's just that… "It's just what?" Yumi always asks herself.

She doesn't still don't know the answer. But for now she knows that she is studying there because of three reasons: 1) Because it's her parent's decision, 2) For a quality education and lastly because of the person she idolizes…

Ogasawara Sachiko

Yumi thought that Sachiko is the closest thing to a real lady. A lady with manners and the right upbringing. A person with breeding and poise.

Her first encounter with her wast just a few months ago, during the freshmen welcoming ceremony sponsored by the Yamayurikai. She played the song, "Guno's Ave Maria" in the piano. From then on, Yumi adored and idolized her.

She wants to become like her. Sachiko-sama after all is the epitome of the word perfect.

Her musings were cut short by Yuuki.

"Yumi, come down! Or else you'll be late." Yuuki shouted from the foot of the kitchen.

"Coming Yuki." Yumi replied. She hurriedly went downstairs and sat with Yuuki in the dining room. Together with her family, she ate her breakfast in silence. Apparently, she is thinking of something or someone.

"Yumi, don't be too much preoccupied. Be sure to balance schoolwork, extracurricular activities, your time with us and your time with him" Yumi's mother said.

"Yes mother, I will" Yumi replied rather warily.

If her mother told her this few months earlier, maybe she would look at her mother weirdly. She would never think that she'll have a hard time balancing her time. It is just now that she became an extremely good student. She began having above average grades. She began joining different clubs and committees like table tennis, horseback riding, swimming, classic art, modern art and even to her surprise ballet and ballroom dancing.

All of this had changed the day she met Seiiryu Soga. The boy who changed her from a shy and timid girl to what she is now.

She stood up from her chair and began walking towards the door with Yuuki. They bid goodbye to their parents from the door. As they walk outside, Yumi mused that there had been a lot of changes around their community but nothing compared to hers. They reached the bus stop and fortunately a bus stopped before them and they quickly got in the bus. Yumi sat beside the window and the window reflected her image.

Yumi saw a girl with glossy and straight hair past her shoulder staring back at her. She began touching her cheeks; the girl also touched her cheeks, she stroked her hair; the girl also stroked her hair. Yumi looked at the pretty girl before her very hard and said, "It couldn't be really possibly be me."

Upon hearing the words that her sister uttered, Yuuki said, "Have you gone nuts, Yumi-chan? Have you been talking to yourself?"

"Yuuki, it's just that I can't believe that this is what I look like and act like now. It's just been months since I met him but... he changed me into something wonderful." Yumi said wistfully.

"He seemed to have a positive influence in you. Yet you are still the clumsy, spontaneous and natural Yumi-chan that I know. I hope that he'll change that in you so that people wouldn't read your feelings so easily." Yuuki replied with a sigh. "Sometimes, you're just too transparent and people may use that against you, you know." He added.

"Maybe…" Yumi said. The bus stopped and Yumi stood up and said goodbye to Yuuki. She went down the bus and began walking towards Lillian when suddenly someone from behind hugged her around the waist and she squealed and turned around to see who might be the person who hugged her.

It was Soga.

"Ah, so you really hadn't changed that attitude of yours a Yumi-chan?" teased Soga, "Still always surprised huh?" he added with a laugh.

"Soga! Don't ever do that again! Someone might see us and think that…" Yumi said not finishing her sentence.

"Think what? That we are a couple?" Soga said while raising his eyebrows.

"Yes we are but it is not fit for a lady to show such affection in public, you know… you taught me that." Yumi said while taking Soga's hand.

"Can't we display public affection if I am leaving?" Soga said.

Apparently, Yumi was surprised that she let go of Soga's hand, "You are leaving now? Why didn't you tell me? You told me that you are leaving for-"

Soga cut in before Yumi had a chance to finish her sentence, "I know I told you that I'll be leaving at the span of 2 months but duty calls…" he said rather dramatically and shrugging his shoulders he added, " I'll be back before you had realized that I'm gone, really!"

Then Soga enveloped Yumi in a bear hug that both left them flustered and breathless. He put his hands at Yumi's shoulders and look into Yumi's eyes intensely. He said jokingly, "You know what? You're so lucky that a guy like me loves you so much. That a guy like me will do anything to be with you. You know what? I LOVE YOU!" He embraced her again, feeling the heat of Yumi's body and feeling the soft body of Yumi against him. It took him a great amount of self-control so as not to kiss Yumi in the lips right there and there. He broke off the contact before the increasing amount of tension around his pelvic area builds up. He brushed his lips against Yumi's forehead and said, "Will you not miss me?"

Yumi then feeling equally aroused by the simple contact, huskily said, "Ofcourse, take care of yourself. I love you and I will certainly miss you…"

A black BMW car parked beside them and Soga leapt in the car and waved back at Yumi.

Sure, It's just an ordinary day. Yumi told herself while walking towards the statue of Maria-sama. She found herself thinking of the day that she met Soga…