Hey everybody! This is just a oneshot based off of an awesome pic I came across on deviantart.
http:// demachic. deviantart . com/ art/ You-re-lookin-kinda-funny-136819137 by Demachic. (no spaces in the link)
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Craig had never realized just how much he looked like a certain Stan Marsh. He pondered this one day while he was waiting outside the counselors office after flipping off the principle. What? She told him to stop flipping people off, so he flipped her off and stopped.
He began listing things off in his head that made him so similar to Stan. In look anyway--he'd rather die than have the personality of that jockey. They both had black hair; but if Craig had to admit, his was drier and messier than the other boy's tame, sleek hair. They both had blue eyes, about the same color, except Stan's was probably a little lighter than his. But nobody would really notice the difference in the hair or eyes at first glance.
Shoot, if they traded hats, nobody would probably be able to tell the difference.
Normally, this might seem a little weird. Craig had never really cared for Stan--in fact, he couldn't stand him--nonetheless be caught thinking about him. But what brought him to think so much into this could be described in two simple words: Kyle Broflovski.
Craig's had a crush on the adorable little redhead for a while now. But every time he even gets close enough to say anything to him, that stupid hotshot Marsh would get in the way. He would take Kyle's hand, glare at Craig, and they'd walk away. Just like that. Craig hated it. And he was getting pretty sick of it.
So instead of thinking up an excuse as to why he was sent to the counselor's office for the third time that week, he tried coming up with ways that he could catch Kyle without Stan. All he would need is a moment--just one short little moment--to talk to him. Then Kyle would see how much better he is than Stan and they'd run away, happily ever after, with no Stan Marsh.
Or maybe not.
Craig shrugged to himself. The door to the counselor's office opened and Mr. Mackey stuck his big head out the door. He held back a groan at seeing Craig staring blankly back at him. He sighed and moved out of the way to motion the boy inside. "What is it for this time, Mr. Tucker?"
--
Later on at lunch, Craig stared at his favorite Jew from across the room. He sighed and munched on his sandwich, ignoring the twitching and nervous mumbling from Tweek next to him. For once, Stan wasn't with him. This whole time he'd been trying to get his nerves together. When he finally decided he was okay enough, he stood and walked over to Kyle, tapping his shoulder.
Kyle looked up. "Uh, hey Craig. Did you want something?"
Craig was now realizing how ridiculous this was considering he rarely ever talked to Kyle as it was. "Oh, uh, yeah. I wanted to--"
"Hey, Kyle!" Stan greeted all-too-happily, slipping past Craig to sit next to the redhead. He raised his eyebrow at Craig, who was glaring at him. "Oh, hi Craig. What do you want?"
"Nothing, forget it," Craig grumbled, flipping him off before walking back to his own table. Stan smiled and put his arm around Kyle, fully aware that Craig was still watching them and perfectly okay with that. Craig flipped off his back and glared at his deserted lunch food.
I need to talk to Kyle without Marsh being around. But how do I do that when they're always together? Craig thought to himself. Slowly, a smile spread across his face. Maybe I just need to have a little talk with Marsh beforehand.
--
Craig was never a very violent person. Whenever he got angry, he would just flip someone off and go silent. But when his semi-violent plan formed into his head, he was quite proud of it.
He checked the strength of the rope in his hands. It held perfectly well. He nodded to himself before shoving it into his backpack and heading to school on the bus. When the bus slowed to a stop outside of school, Craig made sure he was the first one off so he would have more time to fulfill his plan before the bell rang.
It wasn't all that hard to find Stan and Kyle. They were outside the cafeteria, talking with their other friends, Kenny and Cartman. Craig never really paid too much attention to them. They were always kind of there, not doing anything to get in his way. He preferred it that way.
Craig strolled calmly up to their table and this time tapped Stan on the shoulder. He looked up at him from his seat next to Kyle. "Craig? What do you want?" he practically spat out.
Craig forced out the sweetest smile he could muster. "I just wanted to talk with you for a moment, Marsh. You mind?"
Stan gave him a confused look, surprised he was asking to talk to him and not Kyle. Yeah, he knew about Craig's little crush on his best friend. But Kyle was his. ...Whether Kyle was aware of that or not. "Uh, sure." He stood and followed the silent Craig to a more deserted part of school not too far away. When Craig stopped and leaned down to go through his backpack for something, Stan finally spoke. "So what's this about?"
Craig ignored the question and pulled out what the rope he'd been searching for. When he stood, Stan had to squint to make out what he was holding from the darkness of the hallway and rising sun.
"What is that?"
Craig once again ignored the question and stretched out the rope, slowly walking closer. Stan took a step back. "Craig?" Those were the last legible words he spoke before Craig tackled him to the ground and duck-taped his mouth. Pushing Stan into the wall, he easily tied him up quickly and efficiently. He moved away and smiled widely as the other boy dropped to the ground, wiggling helplessly.
Craig leaned down and laughed, patting his head before snatching the hat off of it.
Walking out of the alley-way, the bell rang and Craig quickly caught up with Kyle. He replaced his hat with Stan's and held his own blue hat behind his back, smiling warmly at Kyle and putting an arm around him. Kyle jumped and turned around before smiling back at Craig.
"Oh, hey Stan. What'd Craig want to talk about?" he asked.
Craig waved his hand. "Oh, nothing important,"
"Oh okay," Kyle stared at him, making him squirm nervously. "You look kind of...funny."
"Funny?" Craig frowned. Crap. "H-how?"
"I dunno. Different, I guess,"
Then Craig got an idea and leaned in close to him, making him blush. "Good different or bad different?" He smirked.
Kyle blinked. "Good different." He smiled.
Craig could have exploded with happiness. Not being one to express his emotions in any other way, he accidentally, well, flipped Kyle off.
Kyle frowned, completely confused and somewhat hurt. He felt tears prick at his jade eyes. "Stan, did you just flip me off?"
Craig gulped and smiled sheepishly at him, quickly putting an arm around his shoulders again and leading him away. He was too far into this to lose his charade now. "No..." he answered innocently. Kyle decided to buy that and walk away with Craig smiling at his side.
Stan, meanwhile, was in the hallway watching all this, squirming helplessly and yelling through the duck-tape. He finally gave up after a while of getting tired and just glared at Craig's back as he walked away with Kyle.
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Oh, I hope this is good enough to compare with Demachic's adorable picture! Dx
Anyway, I also did this in OpenOffice Writer, which I have never used before in my life (my MicrosoftWord was deleted when my computer got this virus...). So this is all weird-looking to me.