A/N: This fic is for a collaboration with peachymess on tumblr! You can check out their gorgous art that goes along with the fic on their art account peachymess-art . tumblr . com (Actual link you will be able to copy paste in my bio.)
A huge shout out to DatWriterWannaBe on AO3 for brainstorming with me for ages and doing an amazing job as a beta. I love you so much! ;_;
Jean couldn't believe it. He had thought that finally, fucking finally, Christmas was behind him. No more family visits, no more Christmas music everywhere he went, no more tacky decorations. Done, over, finished.
He just wanted to relax and forget that such a thing as Christmas even existed until next year but no. First thing that hit him as soon as he arrived to his shared apartment the Friday after college started again was the TV screen, where the goddamn Grinch was standing at the top of his stupid mountain and screaming at the people in the town below as they sang their dumb, catchy Christmas carols. Jean could relate to his hate.
"The hell are you people doing?" he asked, not bothering to hide his annoyance.
Three heads turned in his direction, giving him one offended, one sheepish, and one blank look respectively. Jean only raised his eyebrows, severely unimpressed.
Two seconds passed before Eren rolled his eyes, finally deciding to grace Jean with an answer, "Watching Christmas movies, what do you think?"
"It's the middle of February!" Jean groaned, a hint of despair in his voice.
"Jean, it's a tradition for us," Armin piped up like the true peacekeeper of their little apartment. "It's fun; come watch with us."
Jean made a face which was obviously an answer enough judging by the way Armin's smile dropped. Jean almost felt guilty but he had seen this movie four times just this past two months already. He was done crying over the ridiculously moving ending every time.
...They didn't have to know that.
"Sorry, Armin, but no. I'm just gonna stay in my room. You guys have fun."
Armin nodded, not pushing him further, and Jean was grateful. He didn't want to ruin the fun for them by saying anything unnecessary – even though Eren's face and dismissive shrug made that idea very tempting.
Sighing to himself, Jean made his way towards his room. Passing by the side of the couch, he leaned over to give Mikasa – who was resting snugly against the armrest – a quick peck on the lips, the brief contact making him immediately regret his decision to leave. He hadn't seen his girlfriend since this morning and he wanted nothing more than hug her to his chest and never let go.
It was actually ridiculous, he had known her since they were in middle school, been dating her for over a year, living in the same apartment as her for over 6 months, and she still made him weak in the knees. One small smile from her and Jean was done for, a blushing, blubbering mess at the mercy of this beautiful, strong, amazing woman.
All the more reason he should leave before he breaks down sobbing over little girl claiming she loves the ugly, green creature.
Stroking the back of his fingers against her warm cheek, he muttered, "Have fun with your idiots."
Mikasa smirked at him, that tiny quirk of her lips that made the butterflies in his stomach go completely crazy and his heart hammer in a rhythm that couldn't be healthy. And God, did he love it.
"Sure," Mikasa replied quietly before leaning up a little to return his kiss and Jean thought he would faint. Every kiss was like their first, electricity running through Jean and nearly stunning him, and wow, he really needed to finally get his shit together around her.
"Get a room," Eren said when Jean still didn't leave Mikasa's side after a few moments, apparently disgusted by their very public display of affection. Jean just had to grin when a split second later Eren yelped, his protests earning him a reprimanding smack on the arm from Armin.
Brushing Mikasa's soft, incredibly soft hair briefly, Jean finally left his three roommates alone with their dumb, funny… beautiful movie. Shaking his head at his own thoughts, he resolutely shut the door to his room, making the sound of the TV quiet down.
He sighed when he realized his hand and lips were still tingling; it's been so long and he still couldn't believe how lucky he was just being able to touch her like that. He wanted to keep touching her, keep talking to her, spending time with her, look at her...
Jean forced himself to stop thinking about it before he made himself regret leaving the living room. He would have very much liked to spend his evening cuddling with her while watching stupid movies but not if he embarrassed himself along the way, thank you very much.
He decided to just do what he had originally planned. He shed his sweater and threw it carelessly on the bed right on top of the rest of his other discarded clothes – he really should do something about that but hey, it was his room and he could leave it as messy as he wanted – before he switched his TV and PS4 on. A good game was always his favourite way to relax, especially after a week as stressful as the one he had just survived. First week back after a holiday was hell every time and he was so damn glad it was officially the weekend now.
Grabbing his controller, he went back to his bed to sit but the fairy lights hanging on the wall above his bed caught his eye, making him pause. That was Mikasa's doing right there. As the two of them spent more and more time together, things that were decidedly not Jean's started appearing in Jean's room – while others started disappearing. A book that looked way scarier than what Jean could handle sat on his bookshelf, photos that Jean had never seen before were plastered to his wall at some point. He had spent a month looking for his favourite comfy sweatshirt before he found Mikasa curled up on the couch, buried in it. He didn't ask for her to give it back.
The string of bulbs was put up about a month ago. It was just a simple thing, nothing fancy, but Jean had to admit it made his room feel so much cosier and more welcoming. The light coming from it was warm and dim, providing the perfect lighting for late night cuddles and quiet midnight talks.
Not even thinking about it, Jean reached for the switch, turning the fairy lights on. Suddenly, he didn't miss Mikasa next to him that much; just letting the light wash over him was like feeling her soft touch on his skin, like holding her hand.
Like she was in the room with him.
"Are you okay, Jean?"
Jean jumped at the amused, extremely familiar voice coming from behind him. He turned his head so fast he was worried he'd pull a muscle, making Mikasa chuckle quietly, her eyes dancing with mirth. He felt his cheeks heat up and he hoped his blush wasn't obvious; it was bad enough being caught staring lovingly at fairy lights. Blushing over it on top of that would be… embarrassing to say the least.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Jean replied, silently thanking whoever was watching over him that his voice didn't crack.
With a teasing smile dancing over her pretty, full lips, she simply replied, "Good," before her hands shifted as she closed the door behind herself, bringing Jean's attention to the tray with two steaming mugs, which she was now holding with just one hand. Judging by the ridiculous amount of cream and marshmallows piled into one of the mugs, Jean could only assume it was his favourite winter drink.
"Is that hot chocolate?" he asked, already practically drooling at the sight. Back when Mikasa and Jean had officially began dating, his mother made sure to tell Mikasa every single one of Jean's favourite foods and snacks. Ice cream with honeycomb, s'mores with peanut butter, brownies with cherries, and above all else – homemade hot chocolate. A family recipe passed down from his great-great-great-grandmother, it was the only reason he ever looked forward to the snow and cold, the only reason he tolerated the slush and ice and the shovelling of that white, wet menace falling from the sky.
His mother had taught Mikasa every trick there was to the liquid heaven; she explained to her about the right temperature, the perfect ingredients, even Jean's preferred amount of cream. At this point she honestly made it better than Jean's own mother could, although he would never admit that to his mom. He just couldn't break her heart like that.
Mikasa looked at Jean, that amused spark in her eyes even more prominent than before. "No, it's green tea full of marshmallows and cream," she said, her voice completely serious even as she poked fun at him, and Jean made a face.
"That's disgusting just to hear. Why, Mikasa. Just why?" Jean whined, even as he reached for his cup with grabby hands.
"You asked." The girl shrugged, smiling a little at Jean's eagerness as she sidestepped her boyfriend to make her way inside the room.
Jean watched her with confusion as she shoved some of his clothes further into the corner of the bed so she could set the tray there carefully instead, sitting down at the opposite end of the bed and leaving space for Jean to sit in between her and his precious chocolate. He couldn't help but stare as she made herself comfortable, folding her long legs under her as she picked up the PS4 controller he had dropped there just a minute ago, before she looked up at him expectantly.
When Jean still didn't move or say anything, Mikasa cocked her head to the side, raising an eyebrow. "Well? Are we going to play something or are you just going to stand there?"
Jean blinked then, finally broken out of his stupor. "Weren't you watching movies with Eren and Armin?" he asked, a new wave of confusion washing over him. Armin said it was a tradition. The three of them were practically inseparable and Jean had learned the hard way that traditions were sacred for them. And he didn't mind, as long as they made Mikasa happy; it was just pretty damn surprising to see her in his room looking like she had no intention to leave while there was a tradition taking place a few rooms over.
Jean noticed a small, shy smile pull on Mikasa's lips before it disappeared behind her scarf. A scarf that was old, slightly tattered with age despite Mikasa's best efforts to keep it in perfect condition, and incredibly comfortable. It also smelled like Mikasa and Jean wished he could keep it forever instead of just folding or carrying it from place to place once in a while.
Shaking his head to clear it, Jean focused back on Mikasa just as she replied with a little shrug. "I've seen the movie so many times I know it by heart at this point. They can survive without me for once." Her voice was quiet but firm, not giving Jean any space to question her even though he wanted to.
Although, really, what did it matter what the reason was? Mikasa was there in his room with him instead of somewhere else. She chose his company above other people she held dear, people Jean had once thought he could never compare to in her heart. And when a slight blush crept up her cheeks, barely visible above the edge of her scarf, any remaining doubts and questions Jean had had evaporated as his heartbeat quickened and a comfortable warmth settled in his stomach.
It seriously didn't matter.
A soft smile pulled on Jean's lips when he finally moved, settling in the space Mikasa had left for him. Not saying a word, he took his controller from Mikasa, giving her the second one instead while she watched the screen curiously.
"What are we playing?" she asked finally, experimentally touching the buttons on the controller. She never played much, after all, usually just watching Jean play and making commentary on the plot and characters, occasionally teasing Jean for being scared when he played some horror game.
Jean smirked. "Tekken. A fighter game."
"Oh, like Mortal Kombat and the like?" Mikasa asked, studying the screen while Jean prepared all the game settings.
Humming lightly, Jean nodded. "Yeah, kinda. It's the same basic format. Have you ever played?" he asked, glancing her way.
She was looking at the controller distrustfully, eyeing all the buttons as she turned it every which way in her hands. "Nope," Mikasa said before looking up at Jean with a slight frown. "Aren't there like, button combinations for moves? I don't know any."
Jean almost laughed at the face she made; it was so new to see her look unsure. The tiny crease between her eyebrows, the way her lips were turned just a little downwards… it made Jean feel all giddy inside.
Suppressing the urge to hug her because of how cute she looked, Jean only gave her a lopsided grin and bumped his shoulder against hers. "You can pretty much just smash the buttons however you feel like, the characters will always do something ," he assured between laughs after Mikasa lightly shoved at him in retaliation.
She was scowling at him but Jean could see the corners of her mouth twitching and he couldn't tear his eyes away if he tried. He would never have enough of Mikasa's little expressions. People could say she was cold and poker-faced as much as they wanted but if they bothered to pay her some attention, they would see clear as day how open and expressive she really was; every emotion was plainly visible on her face and in her body language. Especially in her eyes. Her dark, dark, beautiful eyes that looked a bit downwards when she was feeling shy, glared straight into your soul when she was angry, danced with amusement when she was having fun, turned so incredibly soft when she was content and happy–
Jean cleared his throat as he finally turned to look back to the TV screen. "A-Anyway," he stuttered a bit while he mentally scolded himself for getting lost in thought again. "This is the character selection screen. Here, I'll pick first."
Quickly running his eyes over the avatars of all the playable characters, he zeroed in on one particular girl, quickly scrolling through all the others to select her. A full view of Nina appeared on the screen, showing off her torn up wedding dress and looking remarkably like Uma Thurman.
...So he might like the Kill Bill movies a little. He wasn't ashamed of it. But god, did he hope Mikasa wouldn't say a word about his character choice.
Braving a look at Mikasa, she was smirking a tiny bit but luckily wasn't saying anything. So Jean, trying to shift her attention away as soon as possible, nudged her, gesturing to the screen where the player two character selection started.
Mikasa hummed, moving a little on the bed – straightening one leg in front of her while shifting the other more to the side and leaning a bit forward to study the tiny avatars carefully.
Jean's heart jumped when Mikasa's folded leg rested casually against his thigh and he had to gulp to keep the unmanly squeak in. Cool. He was cool. Casual contact like this was perfectly normal between lovers, and it was perfectly normal for them. He was just… not expecting it, and he was not ready for the way Mikasa's warmth felt against his leg.
Would he ever not be surprised by Mikasa? Who knew. But Jean sure hoped these feelings would never go away, even as embarrassing as they were.
"Okay, I'm picking this one."
Jean's eyes slowly slid to the side to look at the screen from where he was staring at Mikasa's profile. But then, as soon as he realized what character exactly Mikasa chose, all his previous infatuated thoughts disappeared from his head only to be replaced by disbelief.
"Panda," he said in monotone. "You. You actually picked Panda." It wasn't even a question, just a statement void of emotion. Even Berthold, the biggest damn noob when it came to videogames somehow knew not to pick that one.
Mikasa just shrugged, answering nonchalantly. "It's cute."
" Cute? " Jean repeated in a slightly high pitched voice. "Mikasa, that thing is fucking creepy. Nightmare material. No panda should ever look like this. And it's ridiculously weak."
Mikasa looked Jean dead in the eyes, her expression unreadable, before she repeated, "It's cute."
Jean blinked a few times still feeling like he should try and convince her to pick someone else but being faced with Mikasa's unmoving gaze, he was forced to concede. He just shook his head and moved the game to field selection, telling Mikasa to chose one.
While she browsed the available fighting backgrounds, Jean picked up his hot chocolate mug, bringing it to his lips. He couldn't help the moan that escaped him; it really was like tasting heaven, the marshmallows and cream complementing the hot, rich liquid perfectly. Jean truly could only drink this and nothing else for the rest of his life. Too bad drinking hot chocolate in the summer was just asking for a heatstroke. And for stupid questions, courtesy of his stupid friends.
Oh well. All the more reason to savour it while he could.
Taking one last sip from his cup, Jean put it back on the tray next to him and grabbed his controller just in time to prepare for the first round of the fight.
"This game is easier than I thought," Mikasa noted offhandedly with a barely detectable hint of amusement in her voice as she watched Jean's character dramatically fall to the ground after having suffered the sixth K.O. in a row.
Jean could only groan in defeat. He wanted to be angry at her for making fun of him. He really, really did but he was honestly more astonished and resigned than anything at this point. Was this seriously Mikasa's first time playing this game? Was she really just pressing random buttons? It was fucking ridiculous. She had defeated him every single time except the very first round when she was still figuring out which button did what.
He got so into it about three rounds in, too; he had a vague memory of shouting at the screen while shoving at Mikasa in the heat of the moment as they played, yet he still got beaten miserably. And Mikasa was still playing as Panda all the while. It was actually incredible of her.
Or pathetic of him, depending on the point of view.
Although, really, how was he even surprised? Mikasa was a god when it came to physical combat; figures she'd beat him in a fighter game by sheer instinct. Jean thought to himself that he should have put on some strategic game if he wanted to show off as he knew for a fact Mikasa sucked at those. She was more of the "stab it until it stops moving" kind of an amateur gamer on the rare occasion she actually did try playing, and it was pretty damn adorable watching her get frustrated over locked doors in RPGs that she didn't have the patience to unlock through puzzle solving.
But he hadn't picked a strategy, he had picked a goddamn fighter game and now he faced the consequences.
Mikasa snickered as Jean slumped forward, completely crushed. "You giving up?"
Jean grumbled at the tone. As much as he loved seeing her happy and laughing, he couldn't stand her laughing at his misery . Life was so unfair.
But giving up?
"Like hell," he growled, straightening up quickly and startling Mikasa with the sudden movement.
She jumped away a bit, falling on her side on Jean's bed, overtaken by quiet laughter. Jean watched her with a scowl on his face, unable to tear his eyes away as she wiped the tears out of her eyes, even as annoyance nagged at him. She was just so beautiful. So damn beautiful but she pissed him off so much in that moment.
Clicking his tongue, Jean tossed a stray clean sock at her to make her stop laughing at him but he only succeeded in making her laugh harder. He hated how giddy the sound made him feel, how much he really didn't want her to stop.
Still, even the sight of her reddening cheeks and her wide smile didn't help recover his wounded video game pride. So he reluctantly looked away so he could glower at the screen, starting the game anew.
"I won't go easy on you this time, Mikasa," he said in a firm and confident voice, belying his real feelings of fear and uncertainty.
One last giggle left Mikasa's lips as he felt the bed dip while she repositioned herself next to him, sitting so close Jean could feel her heat seep into his skin through their clothes and he almost wasn't mad at her for beating him so easily anymore.
And when those very same, full, pink, beautiful lips connected to his cheek briefly… He really didn't care about winning or losing anymore. How could he? He was already a winner for having Mikasa next to him.
A/N: And then Jean got his ass handed to him all over again 3