Author's Note: This fic is especially for Fiona, who did something amazing this week. Happy Birthday Fi!!! Big hugs to Vicky for the encouragement and nice words and for being my beta
To throw her own words back in her face, Katie woke up feeling like microwaved shit. Jesus fucking Christ not again, she thought, as her senses all started sending alarm messages to her brain at exactly the same fucking time. Please no, she pleaded in vain with her own abused body. She tossed her quilt back and threw her legs over the side of the bed in one movement, fully intending to make an emergency dash for the bathroom when she saw the waste paper bin by the side of her bed. It had already been used at least once. On seeing the contents, her stomach heaved and she had no option but to use it again.
As she sat wondering whether or not that was all and feeling more than a bit sorry for herself, the fog slowly started lifting from her brain. Things other than her stomach began to grab her attention. She was naked. What the fuck? She didn't sleep naked, certainly not since her dick of a brother started taking that frankly disturbing interest in her and Emily. Why the fuck was she naked?
Standing up to get her dressing gown from the back of the door, she looked at Emily's bed and took a second or two to realise what was different about it. It had been slept in. What the fuck was going on? What had happened last night? While she put on her dressing gown and made her way to the bathroom with the bin, the familiar morning after the night before inquest started in her head.
She'd been clubbing. Obviously, because she always went clubbing on a Friday. So far so good. The club, the club. She wracked her brain, trying to force the previous night's memories back to the surface. Oh fuck. Freddie and The Bitch had turned up, hadn't they. Just when she thought she'd found a club that none of their lot ever went to, those cunts show up to rub her face in it. Shit. She'd have to try and find another club now. Of course, she'd started knocking back as much alcohol as she could afford and dancing with the first random twat who looked half decent. Even as she remembered, she realised how pathetic it was. Oh yeah. Then random twat had offered her those pills and she'd necked three of them before he could stop her. One was supposed to be enough for anybody, he'd said. Fuck. He'd shouted at her in the middle of the club, calling her a stupid slag amongst other things, before fucking off, obviously pissed off at her taking more pills than he'd intended and because he realised she'd soon be incapable of standing, let alone shagging him. Fuck. Why did she do these things to herself?
How had she gone from that point to naked in her own bed though? The inquest continued as she brushed her teeth and thirstily drank straight from the tap at the bathroom sink. She was vaguely aware of raised voices downstairs but that didn't really register fully while she carried on trying to dredge up the memories of last night. As she wiped away the remains of her make up, she remembered a voice asking if they should at least try to get some of the mascara off. What? Oh, for fuck's sake! As if seeing the stoner and the bitch wasn't bad enough, her fucking sister and her pet fucking dyke had shown up too. What the fuck was last night? Humiliate Katie night or something? At least that cleared up how she'd got home and why Emily's bed had been slept in. Emily had obviously taken her home. Emily had looked after her. She suddenly felt an unexpected surge of warmth towards her sister. Emily did still care and she was still there. For the first time that morning, Katie felt a little better and as she checked in the mirror for any stray remains of make up, she allowed herself the hint of a smile.
Satisfied that she looked at least presentable enough for her own family, she made her way downstairs, intent on getting the vital coffee and painkiller that she needed as part of her recovery routine. It wasn't until she reached the bottom of the stairs that the raised voices started again and the unmistakeable smell of baking hit her. The raised voices she was used to, but baking? What the fuck? As if this day wasn't weird enough already. She pushed the kitchen door open, wondering what the hell she was going to find behind it. Emily looked up at her and Katie instinctively burst out laughing at the sight of her sister with flour in her hair, on her face, down her front and pretty much covering her arms up to the elbow.
"Well I'm glad somebody finds something funny around here!", snapped her mum, glaring at her across the table.
Katie's laugh died in her throat and her heart sank as she realised she'd walked straight into the middle of another Emily v Mum battle. Fuck. She should have realised, with the raised voices and Emily's bed having been slept in. If it wasn't for the fog of her headache, she'd have known straight away and fucked off out to a cafe or Panda's, anywhere but here.
"Morning mum", she tried, keeping her voice as light as possible and making straight for the kettle. Instant would have to do this morning. The quicker she could get her coffee and get out of there the better.
"Don't 'morning mum' me, Katie Fitch! I don't suppose you even remember what state you were in last night or should I say, the early hours of this morning! You woke the whole house up with your shouting and I'm not even going into what you were like in the bathroom. What sort of example is that to set James? And, to make matters even worse, I was forced to, to..." Jenna stuttered slightly, struggling to get the words out because she was so angry, then took a breath while throwing a bitter look Emily's way before continuing, "... I was forced to thank that girl for helping Emily get you home! And if it wasn't for her telling me that somebody had spiked your drink, then you'd be in serious trouble young lady! I was positively mortified, having her of all people bring you home in that state and then to have her stand there and tell me not to be too hard on you!"
"Her name's Naomi, mum" Emily sighed, almost as an automatic response, not even looking at her mum.
Jenna barely paused and certainly didn't acknowledge Emily's remark, "And don't think you've heard the last of this Katie! I have to go to work now but I'll be having words with your father and we'll see what he thinks about all this!"
Getting up from her chair, snatching her bag off the table and heading for the door, Jenna's final remark was aimed squarely at Emily, "And as for you and that girl Emily, well... well..." again Jenna was struggling to find the words to voice her anger, "... if it wasn't for you being friends with her, I wouldn't have been placed in that unbearable situation! Your father and I will be having words with you as well, you mark my words! This, this... thing... with her... we'll talk later when you've both calmed down enough to act like adults!" They could still hear her muttering to herself as she made her way down the hallway and out the front door.
As soon as she had shut the front door behind her, the sisters looked at each other for a second before collapsing with laughter at the state their mum had got herself in. Gradually, the laughter subsided, the moment passing all too quickly. Katie finished making her coffee, taking it over to where her mum had been sitting, unaware that Emily was thinking she'd just swapped one annoyance for another. For all they had been laughing together, the cause of their temporary alliance was now gone and an uncomfortable atmosphere once again filled the Fitch kitchen. Emily took a deep breath and braced herself for the expected onslaught from her sister. Katie watched as Emily carried on clearing up one set of dishes and utensils and getting a new set out, ready for whatever was baking to come out of the oven. She was still trying to get her head round what her mum had said about the dyke. Had she really stood up to her mum like that? In Katie's defence for fuck's sake? Katie felt an unfamiliar twinge of guilt.
She'd become adept, over the months since the Love Ball, at avoiding these Emily v Mum clashes. It wasn't her fight. Emily chose to be gay and have that dyke as her girlfriend. And Katie still hadn't forgiven her for the humiliation of the Love Ball. It wasn't until now, seeing it first hand, that she realised how much crap Emily was having to put up with. Last night, Emily and the dyke had done nothing wrong but mum had managed to twist things so that Emily was still in the wrong. Fact was, it was Katie who was at fault and they'd done nothing but help her. It was slowly dawning on her that they'd brought her home last night, knowing that it would almost certainly cause them more grief. Katie felt another pang of guilt.
"So what are you making anyway, Emily?" she asked, making a real effort to come across as sisterly as possible. Emily looked back at her, somewhat confused.
"Erm, it's a cake" she replied quietly, wondering why Katie hadn't started on her, but with her guard still fully up, expecting the abuse any second. Katie merely replied with an "Oh" and then lapsed back into silence, sipping her coffee. As she put the kettle back on, Emily looked at her sister a little more closely. She hadn't seen Katie this contemplative since the immediate aftermath of Gobbler's End. What was going on? Making herself a cup of tea, she decided to try and seize this opportunity to talk and asked Katie if she wanted another coffee. Katie nodded, handing her now empty mug to Emily.
"Thanks. What's the cake for?" Katie asked, taking the fresh mug as Emily sat down opposite her. Emily had hoped to avoid that question for a bit longer, certain it would set Katie off just as it seemed there might be a chance of them talking properly for once. She couldn't think of an excuse quickly enough, so resigned herself to the inevitable and told the truth, "It's for Naomi's birthday". Katie was taken aback slightly. She had no idea it was the dyke's birthday. If she'd been on any sort of reasonable terms with Emily she'd have known that. Emily must have been preparing for it for weeks, knowing her. But that was the problem, she felt she barely knew her now. Her own sister.
"Oh. When is it?"
"Today"
"Today?!" Katie was confused now. "Why'd you stay here last night then? I thought you'd have wanted to be there for like the whole day, spend the whole day with her, you know?"
"Well, that was the plan originally. Then when we got home last night, you were in such a fucking state. I didn't even have to ask Naomi, she knew what I wanted and she said I should stay here the night." Katie dropped her gaze to her coffee as Emily carried on, "I promised to go round as soon as I could today and that I'd make it up to her somehow. Then I had the idea of making her a cake and course, that set mum off even fucking more. I'm so fucking tired of this Katie. As far as mum is concerned, I can't do a fucking thing right anymore and it's doing my fucking head in, it really is" Emily had both hands pressed against her forehead, fingers through the fringe of her hair, elbows on the table, eyes closed. Katie thought she could see moisture building in the corners of Emily's eyes.
Katie didn't know where to look. Emily was rightly pissed off and this time, it was partly her fault. Whatever issues she had with Freddie and The Bitch, she shouldn't be taking it out on Emily, but that's exactly what she was doing by not supporting her against their mum. She'd effectively taken her mum's side against Emily and it was slowly destroying her sister. Emily was up against the whole family, because she was gay. She hadn't seen her this defeated since the day of the Love Ball when she'd thought the dyke, Naomi, didn't want to know. And that had definitely been her fault. What kind of a sister was she?
"Did she really do all that stuff last night? Help carry me home, say those things to mum and say that to you?" Katie whispered.
"Yes, Katie, she did. I can't carry you by myself, so she helped. In fact, she did most of the carrying, even though you were being a bitch to her all the way home. And when you were sick down the t shirt we'd put on you for bed, she helped then as well. Oh and by the way, you were naked cause you were sick down 2 tops and I wasn't putting any fucking more on you!" Emily's frustration was growing.
Just then, the oven timer beeped. Emily got up to take the cake out of the oven and carry on preparing it. Katie stood too, watching Emily carefully lift the cake out and place it gently on the side to cool. She watched as Emily fussed over it, removing any extra bits that might be sticking to it, ruining the shape of it. She watched as Emily tipped the carrier bag of bits and pieces onto the work top. She noticed that the candles and icing were blue. She noticed that there was a photo holder as well. She noticed the photo that had fallen from the bag. Outdoors somewhere, sunny, Naomi behind Emily, with her arms wrapped around her sister, both looking at each other in mid giggle. Katie was a shit sister.
"I'm sorry"
It was barely audible and neither sister could really believe they'd heard it. Emily looked round, confused, looking in vain for somebody else in the room.
"I'm sorry Ems. For everything."
Before Emily could react or say anything, Katie was gone. She thought about going after her but stopped. If Katie had wanted to take it further just now, she wouldn't have left, so she let her go. The thought that Katie might be going to do something stupid briefly crossed her mind but was quickly dismissed. That just wasn't Katie's style. As she stood there, staring at the door, a small but trademark lopsided smile slowly crept across her face. Maybe. Just maybe.
The rain continued to fall. Heavy, incessant. That rain that just comes straight down, as if the sky can't dump it on you quickly enough. Standing in front of the funny looking house, oblivious of the rain for a moment, it took Katie a minute to realise it was the porch that made it look funny. What fucking house in England had an actual porch? Trust her to live somewhere completely out of the ordinary. She couldn't live in a normal house, could she. It was the first time Katie had been there and she could see it was just another reason for Emily to love her.
Walking up to the door, she prayed fervently that she wasn't about to interrupt something. Christ, that would be too fucking much. Well, she was here now and she was going to do this. For herself, for Naomi but mostly for Emily. Unable to find a doorbell, what a surprise, she braced herself and knocked loudly. Then listened. She didn't want to, but couldn't stop herself. Fuck, please don't let them be doing icky stuff, she thought. After what seemed like an age, she heard footsteps inside and muffled voices. Both female. Fuck, this is it.
Naomi opened the door and just stared for a second. Katie could see the look of total confusion on her face. She could also see a similar look on Emily's face as she walked across the unexpectedly large hallway towards her girlfriend and sister. Katie was momentarily at a loss. Thankfully both girls in front of her were fully dressed but it was still a shock to see them like this, almost domestic as Emily was obviously so comfortable here. It was Emily who reacted first.
"Katie? What are you doing here? Is something wrong? Why didn't you phone?" This snapped Katie back to the here and now.
"Shut up Emily, you fucking retard" she said light-heartedly.
"Nothing's wrong. I've just come to, erm, give Naomi this." The sentence trailed off into a mumble as she looked from Emily to Naomi and pulled a package from under her coat, handing it to Naomi. If it was possible, Naomi looked even more confused. The package was wrapped in plain green paper, with a white envelope stuck to the front of it.
"What's this?" was all Naomi could get out, looking quickly to Emily, fully aware that it looked exactly like a birthday present, but too confused to allow herself to accept that that's precisely what it was. Emily could only shrug. She was as confused as her.
"It's a birthday present. Are you retarded as well? Explains why you like each other I suppose" said Katie lightly, regaining her usual confidence. The hint of a smirk appeared on her face as she let herself enjoy the moment. "It's recycled paper by the way. Open the card first, it's recycled too." she instructed.
Naomi looked from Katie to Emily again, but was again met with a shrug. Emily just pointed to the card, prompting her to open it. She slipped her long index finger under the flap, tugged it open and pulled the card out. Emily was watching closely and they both let out a short laugh as they saw the picture of the scooter on the front of the card. They both glanced briefly at Katie, grinning, before turning their attention back to the card. Katie couldn't help but notice how in sync the two were. Naomi opened the card so that she and Emily could read it together.
'Happy Birthday Naomi, I'm sorry. About everything. Katie x'
Both of the girls' mouths hung open as they looked up at Katie. "Erm, thanks Katie" said Naomi, finding her voice again "that's really nice" she continued, struggling for words. Katie shrugged, reminding Naomi of Emily's shrug just a moment before. Realising the effort Katie had gone to and the significance of what she had done, Naomi added "This means a lot, it does, doesn't it Ems?" Emily was still staring at Katie with her mouth open. Naomi smiled and closed it with a finger under Emily's chin. Katie giggled. Turning her attention to the package, Naomi tore the paper off then dissolved in fits of laughter with Emily.
Katie couldn't help but laugh as she said "Happy birthday Campbell. Just remember, this does not mean I want to buff your beaver any time soon, yeah!" And with that, she turned and walked away, again oblivious to the pouring rain as she felt happier than she had done in too long.
Naomi and Emily watched as Katie turned the corner, disappearing. Still grinning at each other, Naomi turned to Emily, held the present up and asked,
"How the fuck do you play Twister anyway?"