Okay so this is my first Vocaloid songfic. Hope you all enjoy :D
Disclaimer: I do not own Vocaloid
Song: Shinitagari (A Wanna Die)
Artist: Hatsune Miku
Italics: Lyrics
She was a good girl
And he was the kid brought up on the wrong side of the tracks
What could these two ever have in common?
On Sunday the sky so clear
You are Sinking into Laziness and the feeling self-glorification
It doesn't feel very good
You are acting happy and it's RARIPAPPA
Everyday was the same. Wake up, get ready, go to school, come home, do homework, eat dinner, bed. There were rare occasions when she'd get out of the house. See a movie, hangout with a friend, or take a walk along the railroad track surrounding the lazy little town she resided in. There wasn't much in her life that caused a spark. Even her passion for singing had soon begun to fade. Wasn't there more to this world than the same boring routine? Wasn't there a possibility that she could break out of these familiar habits? Run into an open brothel of chaos and let herself boil down and become one with utter insanity?
You brood instead of talking
I see many ordinary people who are pretending to suffer from depression
I'm fucking tired of pretending to be a good person and cheering you up
Everyday was the same. Wake up, smoke a joint, debate about playing sick or not, ride the bus, skip fifth period, come home, bed. Getting high and causing mischief around town seemed to be a norm. Spray paint a sign two, set some dog shit on fire outside a church, or pass out in a friend's basement after take a couple hits. There wasn't much in his life that seemed to be of importance. He'd once been an more outgoing individual; one who had thrived off what the world had to offer. What the hell had happened then? Why didn't he take hold of the fruits of his teenage years that were wasting away and take a giant bite? How could he continue to let life slip right though his fingers?
You are a hopeless "Wanna die"
You can die
No one will care about it
A wanna die
You can die
I've had enough of you
You can die
He made no contributions to society
She was sick of playing the role of "little miss perfection"
What were they to do?
You tell me "You don't understand me at all"
But you don't know me at all ether
You tell me "Leave me alone, let me die"
But you don't wanna be alone
Life has no meaning. That was the very thought she was thinking as her mother dropped her off in front of the high school she'd been going to for the fourth year in a row. Sure, she'd made some achievements. Gained the title of "most popular". Had more friends than one girl could ask for. But despite all of this, she was miserable. She'd been striving so hard to gain all the credits she'd need to graduate that she forgot what it meant to be an adolescent. What it meant to enjoy your teenage years before they all faded away into a finely crushed dust. It seemed to her that everything she'd once wanted meant nothing at all to her now. That the life she'd been living had no ulterior purpose. She hadn't succeeded in finding her true purpose.
No matter how much you lament over your misfortunes
It's somebody else's problem after all
You just cry loud and cut your wrist
That's damn agnostic
Life has no meaning. That was the thought roaming through his head as he leaned his head against the buses metal window pane. Despite almost being held back a year or two, he'd finally managed to make it to his Senior year of high school. And although he'd lived these past four years up, he was completely miserable. He'd been so busy wiping out brain cells, he'd forgotten his purpose. How he'd wanted to be an actor, the next president, fuck maybe even a veterinarian. He had completely abandoned his dreams to adopt the role of the professional stoner. Now where did that leave him? Getting ready to pass a major milestone in his life, finally getting ready to move on, completely clueless. The whole world seemed to be conspiring against him. Ready to swallow him whole.
You are a hopeless "Wanna die"
You can die
No will realize that you dropped dead
A wanna die
You can die
You are leading a miserable life anyway
You can die
A wanna die
Oh, are you still alive?
Why are you still alive even if though you wanna die?
You are leading a miserable life anyway
You can die
You want to die right?
So you'd better die
She wanted to end her life
He was ready to end his
What to do?
You don't wanna live,
But you don't want to die
You don't even know what you wanna do
Don't ask me what you should do
Shut the fuck up!
Holding the razor to her wrist
Tying the noose around his neck
Live?
Die?
Say that out loud!
Her best friend called her up on the phone. She spent an hour crying. Spilling her guts about all the sinister thoughts running through her head. Telling her how she didn't feel like she'd been living her life the way she wanted to. That she'd been living it for other people. How it'd all piled up and seemed like a waste of time.
His parents walked into the room. Saw him attempting to tie the noose around his neck. He spilled his guts about the sinister thoughts running through his mind. Explained how he'd become addicted. How he felt helpless. Like he was wasting away into a pile of nothingness. And felt like he no longer had any control. How he needed their help.
You are hopeless "Wanna die"
You can die
No one will care about it
You can die
Do what you want
You can die
A wanna die
Oh, are you still alive?
Live or die
Decide already
"I love you. I promise that I'll help you through this."
"We love you. We're going to get you the help you need, son."
You are a hopeless "Wanna die"
You can die
If you don't wanna die,
Live with all you might!
It's none of my fucking business
She started group therapy. Decided that it was time to find her purpose in life. That it was time to stop living for other people. And that it was okay to be selfish...if only a little bit.
He started a group therapy session. Made the decision that it was time to clean up his act. To start living the life he'd always dreamed about. Make sacrifices for other people...if only every now and again.
A wanna die
A wanna die
A wanna die
Hey wanna die
Stop your grumbling and,
Live with all your might!
Kaito looks across the room
Miku meets eyes that look like sapphires
They share a moment
If only for a second