She cried out a bit in surprise in between an attempt to catch her breath as I turned harshly into the first alley I saw, tugging her along with me. It wasn't enough to pull away from her. Her soft little hand grasped mine tightly, for I myself was acting as the substitute for her walking cane. Right now, I was this girl's eyes. Seeing that there were no more of those damn goons in the area, I finally loosened my grip, and hers soon followed. The sweat on our hands must have intermingled by now. She hunched over a bit, trying to collect herself after all of that running and hiding and not knowing.
"We should be good this far," I said, letting the frightened girl know we'd finally escaped the men who were trying to capture her. There were so many of those fuckers in the streets, all looking for her. They really weren't playing around! Makes me wonder if they even knew about her disability in the first place, they really didn't need so much manpower to kidnap someone so helpless. All they'd really have to worry about, had he not been focusing on me, was that big guy at Hogushi Kaikan who was protecting her. The man who I'd thought was Makimura Makoto until the men who came to take her revealed otherwise.
Makoto fell to her knees and sighed. It was not a sigh of relief, but of fatigue.
I looked down at her. "Hey, you okay?" I only really asked to keep my façade going while I tried to comprehend the situation before the inevitable. It's all façades for me these days. She was clearly exhausted, not just from all of the running, but from the confusion. As far as I could tell, all she knew was that a bunch of thugs came to her workplace, attacked her boss and protector, and then grabbed her with intent to kidnap, and now her last client of the day was helping her escape them out of the kindness of his heart. I have no idea if she even knows why there's a hit out on her. I sure don't. But the sheer number of people sent after her makes her seem important. A lot more important than some unfortunate civilian who got on the wrong side of a person who just happened to have the right contacts by coincidence. I mean, if that were indeed the case, why would anyone be fighting over this hit?
Next thing I knew the girl was hugging my leg. It was then that I realized that, at this moment, I was essentially God to her. She was entirely at my mercy. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing no matter how much my one eye drank in the sight. Wow...what is she...?
"Hey, what are- -?" Oh wow, she's not going to make this easy for me...
I tried to move my leg a little bit, but she wouldn't release me. Release me! She was holding on to me now way tighter than she was holding onto my hand before. It's like we each had a grip on each other's hearts right now, but in two very different, but equally as grave ways. I frowned. She's going to start crying again, I can tell by the way she's choking up.
"What?" I finally managed to speak, trying to feign calm.
"So scared!" Makoto cried out, her delicate voice trembling. She was cut off a little bit by a high pitched whimper. "I was so scared!"
"It's alright," I said, more to myself than to her. I wasn't looking at Makoto. Couldn't bear to look at her now.
I started to rub her hair, almost petting her. I felt like I was petting a little bunny rabbit.
"It's...alright now," I repeated.
I heard her starting to say something between her now softer sobs. "Th' bawh- -..." she started, "...And the boss?"
The big guy. "Don't worry. He made it out, too. You'll be together soon." Another white lie, this time for her. To be fair, the guy didn't look anywhere near death when I left the massage clinic, so there is a decent chance I was right about the first part. The thugs didn't seem to care much about him once they grabbed her. I highly doubt they'd see fit to kill him if he couldn't even get up to disrupt their business anyways. If they did, then I guess I was right about the second part.
"Really?" Makoto said hoarsely, almost like she was begging for it to be true. I made the mistake of looking into her wet eyes at that moment. I felt like she was looking into my soul, even though I knew that she could not see me or the grim look on my face.
"Yeah," I responded.
"...Why..." Makoto faced downwards again, thank God, "is this happening?"
Stop, something inside of me said. Stop stalling. Remember Sagawa. Remember your ABC's...
I silently reached into my coat. I had no choice but to keep looking at her now, to make sure she wouldn't get away. She's not just a girl, Majima. She's prey, I'm a predator, plain and simple. My heart started beating faster, and there was this sickening plunging feeling in my gut. Alright. I have to do this now. This is my initiation.
I slowly pulled the sword I'd been hiding in my coat out of its sheath, so as not to make a sound and alert her to what was about to happen. With who knows how many more of those goons still scouring the streets for her, I couldn't afford to screw this up and have her run off. The pace of her sobs didn't change. She hadn't noticed. I looked at the shiny blade as if to silently ask it if it was any more ready to cross this line than I was. I saw my reflection in the blade, looking back. That was its response.
Are you ready to cross this line, Majima Goro? Fuck no, sword. I didn't think it was going to be like this. I didn't know this was going to be who Makimura Makoto was. And I didn't think.
Once I worked up the courage, I knelt. Makoto lowered her arms a little bit to allow me to move, though clearly curious about what exactly I was doing. Her loosening her grip allowed me to push her hands off of me.
"Hh- - hey, Makoto, hold on a sec!" I whispered, "I think I hear somethin'. Keep quiet okay?"
With my free hand, I clamped my hand over her mouth. She didn't protest. With my other hand, I got into position to slit her throat. I felt her hot breath on my palm as she faintly gasped in response to a foreign touch on her neck. It was all happening too fast for her to wrap her head around the reality of what was going on, that she'd been running around with a man sent to kill her all along, believing him to be her savior.
"I'm so sorry..." That's all I could think to say before I finally slit Makimura Makoto's throat.