Author's Note:

Thank you for deciding to read this humor story. I hope that you like it! Please review and let me know what you think.

Chapter #1:

It was a normal day in high school. I was bored and confused to the point of insanity. Chemistry first thing in the morning can do that to you. I sat with two of my friends at our lab table trying to get the chemicals to mix correctly. It was not, however, going well.

"I think we added too much!" my one friend cried as the tube began to overflow. The three of us began to mop up the spill and pull our notebooks out of the way.

"We need more paper towels," my other friend remarked.

"I'll get them," I offered. I stood up and walked across the classroom towards the table where the cleaning supplies were kept. The table closest to that was occupied by three of my other classmates.

But they were not my friends. These three were blond girls, wearing a ton of makeup, (each), and looking abnormally occupied with what was in their test tube.

At the table next to them was the new student, Nicole. She kept looking over at the other table suspiciously. Obviously she was wondering if those three girls were really as dumb as they looked.

Speaking as someone who had gone to class with those three for several years now I could confirm that they were indeed that stupid.

Their names were Marley, Tara, and Caitlyn. They were best friends and girly girls in the worst possible way. Just listening to their conversations was enough to decrease a person's IQ points.

All of the sudden I noticed something peculiar. The little test tube that sat between Marley, Tara, and Caitlyn began to glow. And not just a faint glow but something like a flashlight with new batteries. Also the light was pink. I was so stunned that I stared as I walked towards my table.

What I didn't see was Nicole, also looking at the pink light, coming towards me. She didn't see me either and we bumped into each other. I fell backwards, towards Marley, Tara, and Caitlyn's table. But I never hit the table.

Instead I fell onto the surface of a cave floor.

"Like what's she doing here?" Tara asked.

"Like obviously she like totally got in our way," Marley answered flipping her hair back as all three of them stared at me. I stared right back, unable to move or to process exactly what was going on.

"Like what's her name again?" Caitlyn asked tilting her head as she looked at the other two.

"It's like Amy," Tara answered, "she's like that drab girl from our class at like school."

"You like mean one of like the drab girls," Caitlyn giggled brainlessly.

At this moment I was still in a state of shock. Not only had something extremely weird happened, I was beginning to realize that something truly, truly horrible had happened.

I had somehow gotten dragged along on an adventure intended only for those whose common sense had been killed by the amount of hair products they used.

"Where are we?" I asked, still on the ground, "What are we doing here? How did we get here?" I could have kept asking questions but I decided to wait for some answers. The three blondes looked at each other, deciding how to answer.

"Well you're like in Middle Earth," Tara told me, "Marley like made some potion to like take us here."

"You're joking," I accused her standing up finally, "there's no such thing as Middle Earth or magic potions. Besides you can't make things like that in a Chemistry class. The reason is because they simply don't exist in the first place." I looked at Tara's eyes, which I could have sworn were brown. "Are your eyes bright neon purple all of the sudden?" Caitlyn and Marley looked at Tara, each with a bored expression on their face.

"Like yeah so?" Caitlyn said rolling her eyes. I noticed that her eyes were now much blue-er then any eyes should be. They also seemed to have grown so that they looked too big to be real. It was scary.

"What are you?" I asked as I took several steps backwards, running into the wall of the cave, "Mary-Sues or something?"

"Like duh," Marley laughed, "like how else would we be able to get here?" She had a point, but it wasn't comforting me at all. In fact it terrified me out of my wits. So I did the only thing I could think to do.

I made a run for it.

But I ran into a problem as soon as I stepped out of the cave. The problem was that despite being told that I was in Middle Earth by the three Sues I wasn't prepared to actually come face to face with it. The city of Edoras, way off in the distance, tilted and fell away to blackness as I fainted.

--

I woke up but I didn't move and I especially didn't open my eyes. All the better to pretend that there was no such thing as Sues and that Middle Earth was just a beautiful, gorgeous, and yet at the same time imaginary world created by J. R. R. Tolkien in his books.

Just then all of my pretending and wishing was ruined by the horrible sounds of the Sues talking.

"Like what do we do with her?" Tara was asking.

"We like kill her," Caitlyn said hopefully, "Pretty pretty princess please!"

"Like I think we should first," Marley said, "find out like whether she is willing to serve us or not. I mean, like it's not as if we like actually want to do work when we have to be busy with like all of the hawt guys here!"

"Like totally!" Tara exclaimed and then the three Sues collapsed into giggles.

So my choices were be killed by the Sues or pretend to be friends with the Sues. Great, I couldn't think of a worse predicament. In fact I was beginning to believe that there was nothing that could be worse then listening to the Sues talk. Except being killed by the Sues. So I gritted my teeth and sat up.

"Like hey most beautiful people ever," I gushed pasting a fake smile on my face.