Disclaimer: If I ever come into possession of the rights to Severus Snape, I will let you know.
A/N: This vignette is AU, obviously. It's post-Hogwarts, DH-oblivious, and was written almost a year ago, so don't take it too seriously.
A WORD TO THE WISE
"Hermione?"
"Yes?" Hermione, sprawled languorously on the sofa, glanced up absently from the latest publication of Transfiguration Today. Severus was idling about the far side of the sitting room in her London flat; his hands perused the wall of floor-to-ceiling shelves, fingers gliding across the spines of books and fiddling with trinkets.
"What's in this jar?" He reached for a small, black ceramic crock resting a shelf above his head. "I've never noticed it before."
"What jar?" Hermione asked, sitting up sharply. Severus turned away from the bookcases and crossed the room towards her.
"Don't – " she began, but lid and vessel were already twisting apart between his hands.
Severus stared down into the pot for a long moment. At last he looked up to meet Hermione's gaze, a peculiar expression on his face.
"Teeth," he said flatly. His arm jerked forward, shoving the jar beneath her nose. "Teeth."
"Well...yes," Hermione said faintly, "I – "
Severus's lips twitched into the barest hint of a sneer, and he sank onto the sofa beside her. "I don't suppose," he drawled, slowly upending the pot so that four white molars slid into his cupped palm, "you would care to explain why you have a jar full of wisdom teeth?"
"Not full!" Hermione objected, then blushed furiously."Well, you see, I just – I mean, I – "
" – couldn't bear to part with them?" Severus finished shrewdly. Hermione's chin jounced in a curt nod.
"I see." One black eyebrow arched gracefully, implying, in that maddening way of his, that he did not see at all. "You do realize, of course, that, were it a matter of such importance to you, then, as a witch, you could simply have charmed these teeth to rest benignly within your jaw?"
Words spilled forth in a rush. "Yes, I know, and that was what I wanted to do, of course, but – oh, you know my parents, they're Muggles and they're dentists and they just kept insisting that it was the proper thing to do, to get them out, and I didn't want to disappoint Mum any further, I mean, she was already so let down when I didn't have braces – "
Severus clapped his empty hand unceremoniously to her mouth. "I do hope you realize, Hermione Granger, that one's possession of wisdom teeth holds no bearing whatsoever on one's possession of wisdom."
"Of course I know that," Hermione retorted, against the muffling of his hand.
"Good. I just wanted to be sure that you were aware that I know it, too." And, replacing the teeth in their jar on the end table, he covered her mouth with his own.