A/N: HELLO MY GLORIOUS DARLINGS GOOSE HAS RETURNED. Yes. My new computer came on Thursday, and just moments ago I made my dad install Microsoft Word on it. Now please don't eat my soul because I haven't updated MWELS; we still haven't transferred the files on my old computer onto the new one. But I figured that I owe you guys a big apology for such a long absence, so I decided to write this… thing.

What is this thing, you ask? Why, it's a crack story based on various dreams I've had/random events that happen at school. It's a lot better than it sounds, and hopefully, my writing can do it justice. But just a quick 'warning' that my friends insisted that I put in: we talk about periods a lot. And we make a lot of sex jokes. And –insert anonymous friend's name here- can't say organism. Yeah ._.

(I don't know why they wanted me to do that when you guys can just look at the rating :|)

So here's the first chapter, based on a dream I had weeks ago. Hope you guys like it, and I don't own Shugo Chara!, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Death Note, Blue's Clues, The Wizard of Oz, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the random quote I unintentionally stole from Tsuki no kimi (you win an internet gecko if you find it), or anything else you might recognize. Or North Carolina. Because that's totally where this takes place.

Utau wandered aimlessly around her large school's property. She had completely forgotten why she was there, and thought curiously about the fact that it appeared to be almost sunset, of all times.

I didn't forget anything, did I? she mused. That's right! My math notebook!

Utau hurried into the school building as quickly as her short, lacy dress would allow… only to find that the entire layout of the building had been completely redone.

"… What the hell…?" she mumbled. There was no way she could navigate her way through this newly created labyrinth. Frustrated, she walked up to a few college students murmuring suspiciously next to the office (Why are they here? she wondered) and was about to ask for directions when none other than Yaya Yuiki popped up out of nowhere.

"Follow the yellow brick road!" the small girl cried giddily, before falling down a conveniently placed flight of stairs that somehow led to where Utau wanted to go.

Suddenly, the setting was completely different. It was dark outside, and probably had been for quite some time. She was standing in the backyard of a tall, thin, plain-looking building, along with Amu, Yaya, Rima, Kukai and Tadase.

"It's only two stories tall, with one room," Kukai explained, "but the place me and Tadase used to share scared the ramen outta me. That place was creepy."

The others agreed, and were about to open the back door when Rima spoke up.

"Um… guys? We didn't leave the second story blinds open. How could anyone get up there, anyway…?"

Chaos ensued.

"Ohmigawd, whadda we do, whadda we do?"

"RAWRGHSHLAGA."

"Yaya is too young to die!"

Finally, after noticing how calm Utau and Rima were (on the outside, of course), Tadase managed to regain his composure.

"Why don't we just peek in through one of the first floor windows, just to see if anything's there?" he suggested. The others nodded reluctantly.

Kukai stepped cautiously towards the nearest window. Utau was vaguely aware of Amu cowering behind her and clinging to her arms, fully prepared to use her as a human shield, if necessary. Rima stood next to a bush several feet off to the side.

Kukai's face inched closer to the window. When he was mere inches from the cool glass, there was a rusting noise, and the blinds flew open to reveal a rather young looking emo child staring back at them.

Cue more chaos.

When they finally all calmed down once more (read: Amu, Yaya, Kukai and Tadase cowered behind Utau, while Rima melted into the shadows like the secret Nico fangirl she was), Emo Kid stepped out of the house-type thing.

Not quite sure how to react, Utau nodded to him. "Peace."

Emo Kid grinned, which was something they all hoped they'd never have to witness again.

Still suspicious, Utau began to say something, but winced at a sudden, sharp pain in her arm. "Amu!" she scolded. "Your fingernails are sharp!"

Leering like a high school kid with a god complex and a handy-dandy notebook, Emo Kid walked closer to them.

"I have sharp nails, too," he smiled. "See?"

Emo Kid raised one of his stereotypically pale hands. Everyone gasped; instead of regular human fingernails, Emo Kid had thick, yellowing claws bigger than L's sweet tooth and sharper than Katara's words when she's on another one of her Zuko rants.

And then Utau was lying in her bed at home, completely bewildered. Shrugging off Emo Kid and all the things related to him as an incredibly strange dream, she sat up and stretched, slightly eager for the class trip to the museum today.

And through another magical time skip, she was there. The building was white and marble-y, like Olympus when it isn't covered in ichor and god guts and whatnot.

"Utau! Over here, over here!"

Turning her head to look in the direction the call came from, Utau was surprised to see Amu, Rima, Yaya, Tadase, Kukai, and… Rima's bush.

The bush? The bush! But the bush was in my dream! If the bush is real, then that means…

"That kid killed us all, didn't he?"

Meanwhile, in the land of Seiyo (Where things were at least a little bit more normal), Kairi and Nagihiko looked at each other.

"…Is it just me, or are we missing some people?"

THE FLEFFING END

Yes, Machu, I stole your word. And yes, I know, this was severely lacking in detail. And while I'm at it, yes, I know the title is rather crappy, along with the summary. I'm just a complete failure, aren't I? I'm sorry ;_;

(Internet gecko to anyone who can come up with a better title/summary :'D)