1Maximum Ride: The Musical

A/N: So, gang, you know how I love musicals?

Wellll. I've decided to put my two faveys together. I bring you... Maximum Ride: The Musical!

Summary: So we all know how much Max and Max II hate each other. Pre-MR3.

— —

What Is This Feeling?

Max and Max II

Being locked in a cage never sucked more.

Total and I had been captured. Captured. Such an abstract word. No... we'd been... pursued? Attacked? Yeah, that sounded better. Attacked. Looking over at the thing next to me; there stood Max II, her brown eyes piercing my head. Of course. Identical—we were so identical. Except... she was stupider than I. And she was lame. And dumb. And had an annoying voice.

Or was that my voice that was annoying? I wasn't sure anymore, all I knew was that being locked in a cell with a carbon copy of myself and a talking dog wasn't doing wonders for my schizophrenic self, and that was not Dandy for me.

A smug little grin on her face, Max II looked forward out of the cell bars. "Dearest darlingest Momsie and Popsicle," she began, and I'll assume that she meant the dynamic duo of death—Anne and Jeb.

I mocked her. "My dear flock."

We looked at each other and then mimed writing some more. "There's been some confusion over rooming here at School..." I studied our surroundings.

"But of course, I'll care for Total," I added, putting a little flourish in my fake writing. If I had really been writing a note like this and it had gotten to the flock, they'd laugh their bottoms off, and probably not take me seriously. 'But of course, I'll care for Total'? I sounded like some sort of droid.

"But of course, I'll riiiiiiiise above it," Maxie Dearest added.

"For I know that's how you'd want me to respond," we looked at each other disapprovingly again, "yes..." we added. "There's been some confusion, for you see my roommate is..." and once again we studied each other, trying to find the perfect way to describe our photocopy. Stupid, lame...

"Unuuuuuusually and exceedingly pecuuuuuuuuliar and altogether quite impoooooooossible to descriiiiiiiiiibe..." she drew her vowels out far too much, making her sound like a total ditzy cheerleader moron. Yeah... no. This was not going over well with the Maxinator, let me tell you.

So, as I looked at her, I came to one conclusion. "Blonde." Okay, maybe in the literal sense, but also in the stereotypical sense... she was such an idiot that it wasn't even funny. Well, maybe it was funny. But—you're missing the point.

"What is this feeling, so sudden and new?" Max II asked, glaring at me.

"I felt the moment I laid eyes on you," I agreed.

"My pulse is rushing—" she began, looking at her hands.

"My head is reeling—" I added.

"My face is flushing—"

"What is this feeling?" I joined her, and together we sang. "Fervid as a flame, does it have a name?" We paused, and I looked at the ground thoughtfully. "Yes.." and she went up an octave, making it sound positively spiffy. "Loathing—unadulterated loathing!" We agreed on this wonderful word of hatred between each other.

"For your face—"

"Your voice—"

"Your clothing!"

Okay, so technically our face is the same, bad on her part, but her voice was slightly different and my clothes were torn and different from hers. "Let's just say—I loathe it all! Every little trait, however small, makes my very flesh begin to crawl; with simple utter loathing, there's a strange exhilaration in such total detestation—it's so pure, so strong!" We started circling each other. "Though I do admit it came on fast, still I do believe that it can last, and I will be loathing, loathing you my whole life long!"

Suddenly, out of freaking nowhere, Erasers were dancing and doing choreographed dance moves in front of the cell bars, like they were from West Side Story or something. "Dear Max II, oh, you are just too good—how do you stand it? I don't think I could! She' s a terror, she's a tartar, we don't mean to show a bias; but Max II, oh, you're a martyr!" They exclaimed, gushing over her.

"Well..." Maxie began thoughtfully, and then shot a glance at me. "These things are sent to tryyyyy us!"

"Poor Max II is forced to reside with someone so disgusticified—we just want to tell you; we're all on your side! We share your loathing!"

"What is this feeling, so sudden and new? I felt the moment I laid eyes on you. My pulse is rushing, my head is reeling—"

"We loathe it all!" shouted the Erasers.

"Oh, what is this feeling?" The Erasers continued to sing in time with us. "Does it have a name—yes... ahhhhh! Loathing, there's a strange exhilaration in such total detestation—it's so pure, so strong! Though I do admit it came on fast, still I do believe that it will last... and I will be loathing, for forever loathing, truly, deeply loathing you..."

We looked at each other. Damn, did we hate each other so much. And damn, did that not bother me one bit.

"MY WHOLE LIFE LONG!"

And then we were next to each other, grinning about our hatred, and then I shouted, "BOO!" and Max II jumped about a foot in the air, squeaking.

Score one for the Maxinator.

A/N: I heard this song as I was rereading MR3 and I needed to do this.

New project; like it or no? I need ideas for songs! (:

–Steph