Disclaimer: I don't own any of the NBC's characters

Chapter 1

Olivia's POV

I pulled my pillow over my head in an attempt to ignore the familiar sound of my alarm, which announced the time as 6 am. Reluctantly I forced myself into the shower, allowing the water to cascade down my body as I thought about my work partner of the last 10 years Elliot Stabler. I visibly shook and felt the goose bumps rise on my skin as I imagined what would happen if Elliot loved me like I loved him. There I said it, I love my partner Elliot Stabler, my married and recently father for the 5th time partner. In love with him I was, but home wrecker, I wasn't. Elliot probably didn't even share my feelings and why should he? He had a perfect family and why would someone who had everything a job and family, wreck it all for me, a woman in her 40's who had nothing to give?

************************************

Walking into the 16th precinct, which was the home of my squad the Special Victims Unit I nodded a good morning to Fin and Munch, before taking my seat at my desk opposite the vacant seat that belonged to my partner.

"Where's Elliot?" I asked Munch because typically my partner was always at work before me and I was running late, due to my long shower.

"He's going with Kathy to a doctor's appointment for Eli," Munch said with a sympathetic look. I nodded thanks because the large lump in my throat made it impossible to speak. Elliot was with his wife and newborn child, where he belonged while I was where I belonged at my home which was the SVU. Why did I feel so jealous every time Kathy's name was mentioned? I had no right to be jealous, I didn't own Elliot, she did. I don't know what's come over me but I feel like he's mine or at least he is when he's at work and Kathy has no right to have him during my time.

"Morning Liv," Elliot said in a sexy husky voice as he took his grey coat and put it over his seat.

"Morning," I replied cheerfully, happy to see that my partner were he was meant to be.

"Eli had a doctor's appointment," Elliot said as a way of explaining his late arrival.

"Munch told me, is Eli okay?" I replied quickly, trying to be polite, but not really interested in his life which I would never belong in.

"He's perfect, the doctor said that he's doing great," Elliot said with all the glory of a proud new father.

"Benson, Stabler my office now," Captain Cragen's booming, powerful voice announced. I looked at Elliot sceptically wondering if we had recently done anything worth of a reprimand. Elliot shrugged his shoulders and I followed him quickly into the Captain's office. Standing next to Elliot with only the smallest space left between our bodies I felt my body tense as his arm brushed mine as he got into a comfortable stance.

"There's been a 911 call from Sarah Donnelly's place and she said that her husband was at the door and threatening to break it down. I told the locals that you'd handle it, so hurry and don't go in until backup arrives because we all know what the husband is capable of," Cragen said with a flick of his wrist to dismiss us. I ran out of the office with Elliot close behind and grabbed my leather coat and the keys to the sedan before running to the car.

************************************

As I drove through the hectic roads in Manhattan all I could think about was Sarah Donnelly whose daughter was recently brutally raped and bashed by her step father Craig. Sarah encouraged her daughter to testify, despite her bravery Craig got off on a technicality and threatened Sarah, who chose to believe her daughter over her second husband. Even though I managed to get Sarah a restraining order to try to protect her, Elliot and I both new it wouldn't stop Craig who was uncontrollable and wanted his family back. I wanted to do something, I talked to Casey about getting Sarah and her children into a safe house but apparently the threat wasn't serious enough. I even tried to have them stay at a shelter but Sarah refused because she didn't want to live in fear. I saw this coming, so did Elliot and I tried everything but I failed Sarah and her children. I didn't know what was going to confront Elliot and I whether it would be Sarah's dead body or her badly beaten body. Though I can't help but think that I could've tried harder because Sarah needed help and I let her down. Her husband getting off was the court's fault but Sarah's husband harming her that would be my fault.

"It's not your fault you know," Elliot said reading my thoughts.

"I should've done something," I said angry at myself.

"You did everything, you could Liv, you can't save everyone."Elliot said trying to stop me blaming myself.

"I know, I know but it just isn't enough," I said as we pulled up outside Sarah's home.

"We have to wait for backup," Elliot stated obviously.

"She could still be alive Elliot, I'm not letting her down again," I said getting out of the car and pulling out my gun.

"Liv, don't be stupid your not going to be able to help anyone if you go in half cocked," Elliot said rationally.

Bam Bam

I ran behind the car as the two gun shots sounded from Sarah's apartment and found that when I stood up I was face to face with Elliot, mere centimetres separating us. I could feel the electricity race up my spine as I felt his breath on my skin.

"We have to go in," I said.

"Okay, but we stay together, no one goes off on there own," Elliot said protectively.

As soon as the okay escaped Elliot's lips I raced up the steps and into Sarah's apartment with my gun firmly raised. I felt Elliot's presence beside me as we swept the apartment and found Sarah lying in the bathroom, blood running from two gunshot wounds in her chest. I stood rooted to the spot unable to move as Elliot knelt down to feel her pulse. Turning towards me Elliot shook his head sadly and I let out a cry.

"Bastard," I muttered. Suddenly a loud crash could be heard from the fire escape, so Elliot and I both with guns raised ran into the living room, to find the window open. I pulled myself through the window and started down the fire escape, with Elliot following closely behind and Craig about 3 floors in front. I felt the adrenaline from the chase race through me and my heart beating fast and the beads of perspiration starting to form on my forehead.

"Liv," Elliot yelped as he twisted his ankle on a stair.

"Elliot, are you okay?" I asked slowly down slightly to make sure he was okay.

"I'm fine, go, be careful," Elliot yelled as I turned and continued the chase. I reached the pavement closely behind Craig, who because of his large muscular frame wasn't nearly as agile and fast as I.

"Stop, police put down the weapon," I yelled in my most intimidating voice. Craig ignored my cry and kept running and turned the corner. As I went to turn the corner down the alley after him, I felt a hard metal object strike the back of my head. As I pulled myself up from the floor, the searing pain engulfed my head and I felt hot oozing blood coming from a gash at the back of my head. Searching for my attacker I saw him standing mere metres from me, with his gun raised towards me. I looked down at my hands and found that my gun wasn't there, it was on the ground in front of me and must have been knocked from my hands when he hit me.

"Craig, be sensible here, my partner is just around the corner and you don't want to get in any more trouble than you're already in." I tried to appeal to his rational side.

"I'm not stupid, bitch I know what trouble I'm in and I know that there's no way out," Craig said simply, knowing that there was no way to reason with him or appeal to his human decency I tried to figure a way out. With my head pounding I thought of Elliot and knew that if he came around the corner Craig would shoot him and I definitely would not have that happen especially when it was my fault we went in with out back up. I had no other choice so I dived for my gun.

Bam Bam Bam

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