Author's Note: I follow the canon religiously in some aspects and completely ignore it in others... Anyway, Bellatrix is eleven here. (Imagine a combination of Lyra Belaqua and Wednesday Adams.) She's smart, spiteful, and selfish, but not entirely EVIL yet. As for the torture, I think she needed a justification for the early stages of her madness, you'll see... Anyway, It's my first fic ever, please enjoy. Advice welcomed. Thank you for reading.
"Crucio!"
This was not the first time Bellatrix Black had been on the receiving end of the Cruciatis Curse, but she still couldn't understand how she was surviving it. Every cell of her body seemed to be screaming for release. How could she tolerate this pain? It should be killing her, surely this was what death felt like. She was simultaneously frozen and on fire with thousands of needles repeatedly puncturing her skin.
She couldn't think, half completed thoughts and pleas appeared in her mind and vanished. She wanted to scream, even tried to, and got as far as opening her mouth to do so before the pain overcame her again. She curled up, hugging herself and allowing her fingernails to pierce her own skin. Nothing helped, nothing ever did. Slowly and painstakingly, she uncurled herself, breathing harshly and feeling tears accumulating in her eyes, she moved to lay flat on her back and stare up at her attacker with the most hateful look she could manage.
Fighting the pain and using all that remained of her energy, Bellatrix desperately forced her lips to form a single word, "Please."
Her father, Cygnus Black II, sent her a disapproving look but wordlessly released her from the torture curse. Bellatrix sighed in relief and shamefully rubbed at her eyes.
"I lasted as long as I could," she attempted to justify her display of weakness. "Longer than last time, I'm pretty sure...and I'm sorry, I really am. I wish-"
He wasn't listening, of course. He sent her another patronizing and pitiless glare. She shivered and started to repeat her apology before he interrupted with an unexpected question. "If I had been torturing you for information, would you have given it to me?"
There was no ideal answer. Bellatrix could say that she would sooner die than betray her family, but the mere fact that she had begged for freedom seemed to contradict this, even if it was true. She also had the option of honesty which was unappealing because confessing that she might have, indeed, been willing to reveal the hypothetical secrets in order to save herself would most likely result in her being put under the Cruciatus Curse again.
Hating herself for it, she settled for a pathetic non-commental answer: "I don't know." But before she could finish voicing this statement a wand was waved inches from her face and her head was forced backward, tilted so she was forced to make eye-contact with him. Thoughts and memories that she, herself hadn't conjured surfaced in her mind. This was legilimency, she realized, he was reading her mind.
"You would have," he stated, clearly disappointed in her. "It seems you can't be trusted."
"No!" Bellatrix protested, her voice barely above a whisper. "I can...you can trust me. I know I'm weak now and I hate it, but I haven't had any training and I don't understand a lot of things... But I can learn... I am completely loyal to this family and everything we believe in. You can trust me."
She wanted to keep talking until she said something that appeased him, but she was shaking and almost talking in circles, so she wisely silenced herself and put a desperate, pleading expression on her face.
He seemed to give her words some thought. "Do you mean that?"
Hoping to avoid another experience with legilimency, Bellatrix answered immediately, "Yes."
"Then I am certain you won't mind proving it...Curcio!"
As the excruciating pain attacked her once again, Bellatrix squeezed her eyes shut, as if doing so could shield her somehow, and instinctively curled into the fetal position. She bit her lower lip as a mild distraction, tasted blood, and screamed internally. After a few more minutes under the curse, her screams became audible and the pain seemed to be intensifying, but she made no move to save herself from it because another failure would certainly feel much worse.
After what seemed like an hour, the curse was lifted from her, quickly and without warning just as it had been cast originally. "Good girl," a distant voice emotionlessly praised her. She raised her head weakly and opened her eyes just enough to confirm that she was still alive, and, more importantly, that she had passed the test.
A well-groomed snowy owl flew into her room early the next morning, Bellatrix was awakened by its hooted greeting as it dropped a seemingly-important letter on her lap. She knew what it was instantly: her Hogwarts acceptance letter. She was not at all surprised to receive it but did allow herself a smile of satisfaction.
She still ached from last night's painful "lesson" but leaned forward despite this to gently stroke the owl's feathers and whisper "thank you" to it before it took off again.
Just as the owl flew out of her room, her two younger sisters excitedly stormed into it. Andromeda and Narcissa Black were nine and seven years old respectively. The two of them were endlessly curious and never gave her any privacy, but Bellatrix had learned to either ignore this fact or to embrace it because she loved her sisters more than anyone or anything else in the entire world.
"Trixie?" Andromeda asked happily as she and Narcissa jumped onto the bed beside Bellatrix. "What happened? We saw the owl, and-"
"It's just Hogwarts stuff," Bellatrix explained quickly.
"Oh, you got in! That's great!"
"Well, of course I did," Bellatrix said, completely unfazed.
The three Black sisters were quiet for a minute or so after that comment. Andromeda stared at Bellatrix, as if offended by her lack of enthusiasm and Narcissa looked at both of her older siblings blankly, looking slightly troubled for no apparent reason.
"What about last night, Trixie?" Narcissa asked anxiously. "We heard you screaming," she clarified.
"It was just a bad dream, Cissy," Bellatrix lied quickly but convincingly. "I'm sorry if you were worried."
"I was," the little blonde girl confessed.
In reaction to that heart-breaking statement, Bellatrix seized her youngest sister in an emotional embrace. "You shouldn't have. I can take care of myself, really. And I can take care of you two," she repositioned herself, cringing slightly at the effort movement required from her still aching body, and wrapped her right arm protectively around Narcissa and placed her left over Andromeda's shoulder. "That's what big sisters do, alright?"
Both of her sisters nodded and she let go of them. "Let's get some breakfast," she suggested, hoping to distract them. "Tell one of the house elves to make me some toast or something. I'll meet you downstairs in a minute. We can go play outside after that."
Both of her sisters made noises of agreement and left her alone once again. Sighing, Bellatrix stood up and changed clothes, exchanging her violet nightgown for a black dress with emerald green trim. She stretched and delicately brushed her long, dark hair. She allowed herself a few moments to look in the mirror and entertain the thought that she was beautiful or, at least, would be someday, before she headed downstairs with her Hogwarts letter clutched tightly in her hand.
Bellatrix took a little detour on her path to the kitchen, her father's study was the third door along the left side of the mansion's downstairs hallway. She knocked on the door but walked inside without waiting for permission to enter. She resentfully approached his desk. She didn't speak a word or even look at her father, she just dropped the letter on top of a book about the Dark Arts that he had been studying.
"I'll take you shopping for school supplies later today," he promised dismissively.
Bellatrix nodded. She considered leaving then, but decided that now was as good a time as any for the confrontation she'd been planning. She put a bitter scowl on her face and finally looked at him, hoping to wordlessly inform him of the grudge she held about last night and every other time that he, or any of her other relatives, had used the Unforgivable Cruciatus Curse on her.
He understood automatically and tried to explain it for her. "It's because I love you, Bellatrix. I want you to be strong, I want you to do something great for this family and I know you can."
Bellatrix listened to his explanation but didn't accept it immediately. She was angry and somehow found it comforting to remain that way. If her father really had tortured her out of love and in order to teach her greatness, then she really had no reason to hate him for it.
Feeling confused and still frustrated, she looked away and turned to leave the room. She expected to be reprimanded for it or at least called after, but her father did nothing but return his concentration to his reading material. Simultaneously pleased and disappointed with this result, Bellatrix left the study and strolled further down the hallway. She entered the kitchen a few seconds later, found both of her sisters wearing their stereotypical curious and impatient expressions and couldn't help but smile at them.
Shopping in Diagon Alley later that day was not particularly eventful, but Bellatrix managed to amuse herself by watching the other shoppers and attempting to guess their blood status based on their purchases. She returned home two hours later with a book about Unforgivable Curses that she'd purchased at a shop in Nockturn Alley and a mental note to research forgetfulness potions, in addition to all of her school supplies.
Bellatrix was pleased most of all with her wand. It was more than a foot long and walnut with a core of dragon heartstring. She enjoyed holding it tightly in her hand and waving it dramatically. She imagined and even mentally whispered some of the more powerful spells that she could cast with it, but only performed a few simple ones at first.
The morning of September first finally arrived. Bellatrix had been packed and excited to go for more than a week now. Her parents and sisters went to the train station with her that rainy morning. It was, naturally, filled with Muggles. Bellatrix grimaced, repulsed by their filthy, magic-less existences as she led the way toward the portal that would take them to Platform 9 3/4.
Going through the magical barrier was, surprisingly, much less exhilarating than traveling by Floo powder or portkey. It actually was not so different from using an ordinary door, but Bellatrix, in her excitement, chose to ignore this fact.
Saying goodbye to her family was not remotely difficult or emotional, because she hadn't come from a very affectionate family. Her parents assured her of the love, pride and hope they had for her but didn't physically reach out to hug her or even to shake her hand. Narcissa and Andromeda were a completely different story though, they embraced her tightly enough to prevent her from breathing and made her promise to write as often as she could and visit them on holidays.
Once Bellatrix agreed to those demands, her sisters let her go and she boarded the Hogwarts Express without looking back.