I own nothing. No spoilers or anything. This is just a story I made up.

Characters

Meredith Grey

Lilly Elizabeth Grey- Meredith's and Derek's daughter. She is two. she looks a lot like Derek. There is no denying she is his. Meredith is super protective of her and is thankful for her every day.

Carla Reynolds- Meredith's roomie in Harrah. They met at Harrah Memorial where Meredith started her internship, but when Carla failed her exam for residency, she dropped out of the program and is now going to school for something else ( I haven't decided yet). She doesn't take a lot of classes, so Carla watches Lilly most of the time while Meredith works.

November 21, 2008

Harrah, Washington

Meredith had just got done working her shift at the hospital and was tired. She walked to the locker room, changed and walked out the doors of the hospital. It was cold and she should be used to the weather, considering she never lived in a state where it was warm all year round, but she was cold. Harrah was different than Seattle. She tightened her jacket around her and put her scarf closer to her face. She walked to her car, unlocked it and threw her stuff in the back seat. She then got in and smiled as she looked back at the car seat sitting to the left her vision through the mirror. She smiled because even though she was tired, she was going home with the best two year old ever. The two year old that got her through her days, the two year old that even when she had the worst day ever at work, still made her smile. She smiled because she was her life. Lilly Elizabeth Grey was her life and she was what made her get up every morning.

When she got home to her apartment, she threw her stuff at the door and walked into the familiar room. She smiled at the sleeping Toddler in the bed. She went over and kissed her on the head. Meredith made sure the little girl was tucked in and then went to the living room.

"How was she?" Meredith asked her roommate Carla, whom Meredith met when doing her internship at Harrah Memorial. Carla dropped out of the program to pursue another career.

"Good as always. You know you don't have to ask every time. She is very well behaved." Carla says

"I know, but it's just that I need to know that she was okay every day, you know. I just need the reassurance."

"Yes, Mer. I know. We go through this every night you get home" She says and they laugh because Meredith knew it was true

Meredith yawns. "I really hate to cut our conversation short, but think I am going to head to bed. I finally have to the day off tomorrow and I think I am going to take the best two year old ever out somewhere."

"That will be nice. She will like that" Carla says

"Yeah it will." she smiles

"Night, Carla." Meredith says

"Night Mer." Carla says

Meredith started to walk to her room, but was stopped by what Carla had said.

"Oh Meredith, I almost forgot to tell you, the rehabilitation center called in Seattle called. It's your mom again. They want you to come visit. They said she has been asking about you and they said it is important you come this time and not call her and…"

Meredith froze as she mentioned Seattle. Memories began to flood into her mind as that city was mentioned. Seattle. Seattle was where her mother was, her true friends were, where Derek was.

"Meredith, you okay?" Carla asked. She knew she wasn't and that is why she stopped talking.

Meredith didn't answer. She was frozen, thinking.

"Meredith!" Carla yelled again

"What?" she says snapping out of it

"Are you okay?" She asks one more time.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm going to bed."She says. Carla shakes her head as her friend walked back the hall to her room and closed the door. Meredith leaned against her door and let out a sigh

"Seattle."She whispered to herself

Meredith suddenly was reliving memories of Seattle. One stuck out of all of them. The day she begged Derek to choose her, but he didn't. This was the day she remembered as losing the love of her life.

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October 27, 2005

Seattle, Washington

Seattle Grace

Meredith has just gotten out of a surgery and she finally got the chance to talk to Derek about the whole Addison and her mess. She wanted him to make a decsions and maybe just maybe he would choose her. She wanted him to love her, but knew Derek hadn't made up his mind. She saw him in a lab room and went in.

"Hey." She said quickly as she shut the door behind her

"Hi." He said

She shuffled her feet a bit and then looked at him.

"Listen. I love you in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, an unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me."

Derek just stared back at her and she remembered feeling as if she would burst into tears, so she left. She told him she loved him and he chose his wife because it was what he thought the right thing to do.

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Harrah, Washington

Present Day

Meredith finally shook the memories that floated from that day and climbed into bed, but she couldn't sleep. Her mind kept going to Derek. She wondered how he was, how he was doing, how he and Addison were making out with their lives, did they have kids, did they even still live in Seattle? Well, she knew they lived in Seattle because she talked to Cristina, but Derek was very enclosed with what had been going on. At least that is what Cristina tells Meredith. The only way she would truly know was if she took a trip back to Seattle herself. It would hurt and she would have to relive more memories, but maybe what she needed was for her story to unveil, for her past to become her present, for her to finally stop running. Maybe just maybe she could be normal.

This is my first Grey's Anatomy fan fic. Let me give you a bit of a background on this story, but I'm not giving anything away. Meredith found out she was pregnant with Derek's baby shortly after her pick me, choose me, love me speech and when Derek chose Addison, she knew she couldn't tell him. Meredith ended up withdrawing from the internship program at Seattle Grace and moved to Harrah, Washington, which is about two hours away from Seattle. The only people that know her true where abouts are Cristina and the people at the rehabilitaion center where Ellis Grey is. I have a lot to add to this story. Trust me, you are going to want to stay tuned. Please review and be honest.

Thanks,

Merderfever