I know I'm not supposed to be here, but I can avoid this yearning no longer. Its tugging some unseen strings in my inner core like a skilled puppeteer. Betrayal was never part of the original plan, but of course nothing ever goes the way we want it to. I'm poised, on the outskirts of Konoha, silently hoping no one sees me. Its quiet in the early morning, just like before I left. An eerie chill settles into my bones with a flooding sensation of sweet memories bursting with laughter, friendship, and irrelevant small things that consumed me while I was still a part of the village. I used to be something. I used to have an association that made me proud, and they were proud to have me. My entire life revolved around fighting for my people. Until I betrayed them all for my own benefit. But that's the life of a ninja, isn't it? Survival.
I swiftly breech the wall and make my way towards the training grounds undetected. Daybreak, the sun just barely peeking out and breaking through the night sky. Soon visibility will become increased, and the grand bustling village of Konohagakure will be awake, moving on with it's life with out a second thought in my direction. I must find my prize, else I risk my life with an ANBU. I flew on the trees, listening for any sign of the people I would have given my life for. Would have. If I hadn't gotten caught up in the stuff that I did. If I hadn't been lacking a certain morality that would have prevented me from leaving.
"Damnit, NARUTO!"
A high pitched whine shattered through the forest, bringing a rare smile to my lips. That was something I didn't miss. Sakuras bitchy composition. I find them easily, standing on that all too familiar path that led to the training grounds where I worked so hard to prove myself. I clear my throat softly, like I always did when I would announce myself to them. It really was more of a purr in my opinion.
"Huh?" Naruto turned his head towards me, confusion written all over his face. He knew. He knew exactly who I was.
"What are we training for today, Naruto-kun?" I ask. Saying those words out loud, actually staring him in the face... It tore my nerves all to hell. For so long I would sit in my dark isolated room and pretend I was once again a part of the squad, acting out phrases and scenarios in my head over and over until it was embedded. I slept, ate, and lived in the remnants of memories I left behind. I felt my heart ripping in shreds as his piercing blue eyes met my coal ones. I could have collapsed into myself and it would have felt better than this.
I flash him a smile, something I thought I had forgotten how to do. It felt weird, so foreign even though I used to smile every day with him.
"Hi...Hitorri!.." He choked back a cry, stepping back. His fists were clenched and shaking. Sakura and Sasuke, who had been staring the whole time, sidled up beside their comrade.
"In the flesh," I answer, curling my lips in a wicked sneer I picked up since I left. Don't let them see the pain. It will only destroy the entire point of you coming back.
"You aren't.. supposed to be here.." Sakura announced, her voice faltering. Of course. She always the one to state the obvious.
I glance over at Sasuke, answering her comment with a slight laugh. "Tell me something I don't know."
She pouted, or huffed, or whatever she called herself doing but I didn't care. I never paid any attention to her anyways. I nod to Sasuke, acknowledging his existence like every other person in the village did. He was handsome, as always.
"Uchiha.." I greet, having hardly ever called him by his first name anyhow. I respected his bloodline. I respected him and his brother, and all the members of his clan. They were powerful, if power hungry. I understood the uncontrollable urges he felt. I felt for him, even if he could have cared less whether or not I died, left the village, or became Hokage. I left him alone. He was thankful for that.
"Where's Sensei?" I casually ask, still keeping up my act of "belonging".
"You.. have no right to call him that anymore!" Sakura screams at me, her face flushed in fury. She was upset. She was hurting inside. She must have had fun being the only female, being able to have all the attention. Surely she wasn't upset because of the pain Naruto went through. She surely didn't care about the knucklehead. Being the damsel in distress all the time must be a good life to live. With me gone, no one had enough guts to tell her how much of a fucking hindrance she was. I raise my eyebrow, giving her my attention again. She looked like a complete idiot, standing there all hot and angry, when she knows I would do whatever the hell I wanted whether or not she approved.
Kakashi, who was always late yet forever arriving at the right moment cleared his own throat behind me. I smiled, not having to turn around to know who it was.
"Hittori, you know better than to show up unannounced." His voice never wavered, but I knew him better than that. I close my eyes, remembering everything that he ever said to me, from scolding to encouragement. Tears formed behind my lids but I blinked them back with determination. I couldn't give myself away, but I knew my pursuers would be hot on my trail any moment now.
"I know how you like surprises, Sensei." I managed to reply, a lump forming in my throat.
This was it. These were the last few moments I would ever hope to spend with my squad again. I wanted, believe me I wanted so badly to break down. Tell them to run and get ready, because war was coming. I wanted to stand by their side and fight with them, admiring how much they've grown. You see, it was never Sasuke that betrayed them. Of course he left. He came back, redeemed himself after a year, and is on good terms with everyone now. Orochimaru was never killed, Sasukes will power was simply enough to overcome his need. He still wants it; to destroy his brother. To gain power. To restore his clan. He was simply bidding his time, staying here in Konoha. I was sorry that his plan would never work out.
"What are you doing here?" He asks.
"I miss everybody." I answer. It was far from a lie. It was the absolute truth right down to my very being. I did. I missed them a lot. That's why I forced myself to make up ground time before they came. So I could spend these precious minutes with them.
A sob escaped Naruto's lips. He looks up at me, tears streaming down his tanned face. I keep my own sober and hardened. I couldn't break now. Just a little while longer.
"I searched.. everywhere for you.." He began, glaring at me with raging, painful fury. "I searched. Everywhere. And you have enough guts to come back like nothing happened."
Thats right Naruto. Get angry. Hate me. Detest me. It will be less painful that way.
I felt a shift in the air, and I knew my time was up. My heart rate exploded, and I managed to get out the two words I had been dying to say since I left.
"I'm sorry..."
"What did you just say?!"
"I SAID I'M FUCKING SORRY!"
My pursuers arrive, a blur of red and black robes.
Everything was over before it really had a chance to begin.
When it was done, and bodies littered the ground... somewhere in the distant heavens... entire generations wept.