Fangirl Fantasy

"Monique, please ensure that sector 56 of building 3 is firmly sealed. There is an unknown disturbance in the loading dock. Please ensure that no one enters... and get the Weapon out of there."

Sephiroth sat cross-legged in his cell, staring at the heavy metal door as if his eyes would melt it. In fact, that was what he was imagining at the moment. He concentrated, narrowing his grey-blue eyes at the bolt just to the right of the door handle.

"CRASH!" Sephiroth's eyebrow twitched, but he was by now so used to hearing unusual noises in ShinRa's headquarters at any given time of day or night that it did not much bother him. Who knew what they were doing now.

A loud yell cut through the regathered silence, echoing on and on without much sign of abating. Sephiroth stirred in an irritated manner, slowly getting to his feet. He cleared his throat.

"What precisely is causing that hideous caterwauling?" he called softly. The shrieks suddenly stopped, dying into some sort of gasping moans. "Is someone taking their last breaths out there?" There was no reply.

Footsteps sounded through the hall, the echoes reverberating through the cool metal walls. If this person had done what Sephiroth was theorizing that he had done, perhaps he could be coerced to let him out... with some empty promises of support and power.

"Who is out there?" The footsteps instantly ceased. "I hear you out there... whatever are you here for?" There was still no reply.

"You do know that I am not fooled in the least by this silly pretense that you have teleported," he continued, "and that I can press a red button right in front of me at any time and summon at least thirty armed personnel."

The person sighed. "Dang you, Sephiroth."

Sephiroth smiled slightly. "Why, hello, Cloud. What a pleasant surprise. Surely you brought me some tea and crumpets."

"Come out here and say that to my face, you silver-haired wench."

"My, my, what a temper. I am rather sorry that I cannot fulfill your request."

"Why not?"

"Has it never occurred to you that I might be locked in?"

"Yuffie, come here. Please get the helpless girly-man out of his cage for me."

"I am exercising the full extent of my powers of self-control in not responding to that remark."

"You just did, moron."

"You guys! I can't think with you yelling like that! Do you want to get him out or not?"

Cloud grumbled under his breath, but he nodded.

Yuffie worked silently for a moment, humming a bright tune. She paused, turned the handle, leaned against the door, and with a screech, the door began to open.

"SLAM!!" The door crashed against the wall, bringing Yuffie with it. "Eeek!" she yelled. Sephiroth stepped over the dazed girl and into the hallway.

"Nice to see you again, Sky-boy. Unfortunately, I am not armed at the moment, so our feud shall have to wait until a more opportune time."

"Shut up!" shouted Cloud, dropping his sword. "Have you never heard of fist-fighting?"

"I have heard of this 'fist-fighting' of which you speak, but only as a rather mean sort of entertainment performed for the benefit of drunkards in bars."

A dull glow began to appear behind Sephiroth's head, growing brighter and brighter, but Cloud took no notice.

"Um, Cloud?" asked Yuffie, staring at it, but Cloud seemed a little preoccupied.

"You'd better take that back, prissy! You know, I'm really sick of this high-and-mighty talk you pull all the time! That's probably why no one can stand you."

Yuffie's eyes widened. "Cloud?" The two contestants in the shouting match took no notice of her.

Sephiroth's eyes flashed angrily. "YOU IDIOT!!

"Ooh, look, Mr. Smarty-pants is mad!" Cloud sing-songed, putting his fingers up on his head like antennae.

"Cloud, stop it! I'm scared!!"

Cloud took his hands down, a confused frown coming across his features. Sephiroth just stared at her. "Scared?" Cloud asked. "Why would you be--"

The glow exploded into a blinding flash of light, and Cloud, Sephiroth, and Yuffie were gone.