Disclaimer: The O.C.'s rights belong to Josh Schwartz.
Summary: It's Valentines Day, but more importantly it is also the date of Ryan Atwood and Marissa Cooper's Bachelor and Bachelorette parties. Chaos will ensure on this wild night!
Just a random idea that popped into my mind. Enjoy!
"Can't we have it on a different night? Because I don't-" Marissa Cooper asked her best friend, Summer Roberts.
Summer sighed, and put down her list of reputable strippers in the area.
"Marissa? Seriously honey, realistically, you and Atwood will have years of V-Days to come. Just let loose, this one night!" she prodded with a mischievous grin.
Marissa shook her head and laughed softly, "Fine. This one night, no surprises either. So you can throw that list away."
Summer pouted, then resentfully handed the notebook over to the soon-to-be-bride.
"Thank you," Marissa said, placing it firmly in her handbag.
"Is that new?" Summer noticed the gorgeous Versace bag that Marissa possessed.
"Uh-huh, Ryan was feeling generous," Marissa replied.
"I wish my husband was rich. Except Seth has to be a Comic Book designer or whatever," Summer sipped her Champagne, stealing a glance at Marissa's engagement ring compared to her own.
"Oh come on! Seth and you are hardly poor," Marissa argued.
"I know it's just. I don't know…" Summer replied, confusing herself.
"Wonder what the boys are up to?" Marissa wondered aloud.
"Probably making reservations at a Strip Club, unlike some people…" Summer trailed off, referring to the dead end and boring events Marissa was yet to suggest.
"Okay, first off, Ryan is not getting a stripper! And secondly, how the hell do you know about strip club reservations?" Marissa inquired.
"I may have, at one time or an other, planned a little something for you…" Summer said looking away from Marissa's glare.
"But you canceled it, right?"
Summer still refused to meet Marissa's stare.
"Right?" Marissa asked again, wide eyed.
"Yeah, sure. I mean, yeah…" Summer responded, sipping once again at her glass to avoid further awkward answering.
"Okay, awesome. So be here around eight…yep…thanks Jade…oh right sorry, so what do you go by? Wait, let me guess; Jade the stripper! No? Right that was a bad guess...Uh, pardon? Say your name? But I can't say that I am familiar with your name…you want me to what?? Uh, Miss, Jade, stripper, miss, uh, lady, or whatever you are called, um, I'm sort of married…oh! Right, well I can't just divorce her because you say I'm…seriously? You think? No one has ever referred to me as sex on a scrawny stick before…Nurse Nancy? You want me to call you that? Right-eo, look Nurse, uh, Nancy, I have to go now, so I'll see you later…no I don't have the time to talk any more…and no I most certainly can't do that. Okay, lovely talking to you too…no, Nancy, oh right, sorry, Nurse Nancy, I can't, and I have to go- Er, hello? Hello? Are you there?"
"She hung up?"
"Yup, next," Seth replied, flipping to the next page of the phone book.
"Where is Ryan anyway? Haven't seen him all day," Luke asked.
"Um, you haven't seen him all day, because we've been avoiding him all day. If we see Ryan, he'll get suspicious, because-"
"-Of your big mouth?" Luke finished for Seth.
"Exactly," Seth responded, still mindlessly searching for another stripping agency.
"What about that one?" Luke pointed to a photo of a brunette.
"Can you do it? You seem to have a way better handle on this stuff," Seth asked passing the phonebook over to Luke.
"I get you there," Luke dialled the number and waited while it rung.
"You've reached Orange Pulp, if you're looking for a blond, press 1. Prefer brunette? Press 2. Want a lady in your area? Press 3. But don't forget our nasty ladies! Press 4 and see how heated things can get! Renting for the night? Go on, dial 5…" Luke listened closely to the automated woman's voice.
"Anything?" Seth prompted.
"Dude, listen to this," Luke passed the phone on, and watched as Seth's expression changed from pissed off, to an on-the-verge-of-laughing grin.
"Dial 5?" Seth asked Luke.
"What is 5?"
"Renting for the night or something," Seth said.
"I guess. We should see if one of the 'nasty ladies' can do home calls," Luke voiced, smirking as an expression of disgust came upon Seth's face.
"Why am I friends with you?" Seth teased.
"I wonder the same thing," Luke responded.
"Okay, lets do this," Seth gave Luke the phone and waited.
After a few rings, some one finally picked up, "Hi, how can we be of service?"
"Uh, I was hoping to get a stripper for the night…for a bachelor party."
"Okay, first off, we are not strippers-"
"You're not!" Luke interrupted.
"Let me finish young man."
Luke rolled his eyes and continued to listen, "go on then."
"Us here at Orange Pulp are deeply sexual performers-"
Luke once again cut her off, "deeply sexual performers who strip right?"
Seth looked up and started laughing.
"Yes."
"Okay, could I please book a deeply sexual performer for tonight?" Luke asked.
"Any preferences?"
"Just a sec," Luke covered the mouthpiece and turned to Seth, "what does Ryan like?"
"Anything really. He's been with blondes, brunettes, red heads…who knows what else."
"Thanks, that was extremely helpful," Luke sarcastically commented, before uncovering his hand from the phone.
"Uh, no preferences. Is it possible to be here around 8?" Luke said to the woman on the other line.
"Of course. So, no preferences? At all?"
"No, why?"
"Oh no reason. What's the address?"
"Yeah, hey there, I was just confirming for tonight," Summer said, clutching her cell phone close to her ear.
"Name?"
"Um, my name is Summer but the thing is under Cooper. It's for 8 o'clock."
"Yup, that's all booked. Are you aware you have another stripper coming too? There are actually two performers attached to your name, both for eight."
Summer wrinkled her forehead, "I only requested one."
"Do you want to cancel one?" The woman asked.
"Uh…no, two are fine. Is there any extra cost?" Summer asked.
"The other stripper is under another account."
"Oh," Summer replied.
"Is there something wrong?"
"Who booked for Cooper also?" Summer said curiously.
"It's…let me check…Atwood, does that make sense?"
"That's so cute! Ryan got a stripper for Marissa," Summer exclaimed.
"Right. I have someone on the other line, so have a good night."
"Thanks, you too," Summer hung up and walked inside to where Marissa was.
"Who was that?" Marissa asked, preparing a salad in the kitchen.
"Just Seth. That looks good," Summer perched herself up on the counter.
"Yeah…it didn't take me long…" Marissa said.
Summer gave her a yeah-right look. "Ryan made it last night," Marissa admitted.
"Thought so, you can't cook or make anything, except Mac and Cheese, you rock Mac and Cheese."
"I do don't I?" Marissa smiled.
"Seen Atwood today?" Summer asked, stealing a carrot stick.
"He had to leave early for work, so only briefly this morning," Marissa replied, opening the fridge and grabbing something.
"Want a re-fill?" Marissa poured the sparkling wine into her empty glass.
"I really shouldn't," Summer said, rattling her car keys.
"Where are you going? I thought we were spending the day together," Marissa whined, waving around one of many credit cards under Ryan's name.
Summer reluctantly smiled, "I just have to make a call."
"Another! My god," Marissa said, fiddling with her salad while Summer went back outside.
After studying the lump of vegetables, Marissa stuffed it back in the fridge and grabbed bar of chocolate.
"Hey Anna, be here around eight o'clock. Can you call Taylor and a few others and tell them the same…cool, I'll see you later," Summer snapped her phone shut and went back inside to see a chocolate rimmed mouth and a beer, both possessed by Marissa.
"What happened to the salad and champagne?"
"Don't ask," Marissa replied, offering a beer to Summer.
"Ew, I'm fine."
"You've been with Seth too long," Marissa commented with a laugh.
"By the looks of things Coop, you've been with Ryan too long. What's next? Wife beaters? Weight lifting?" Summer echoed Marissa's laughter.
"Hardly. Ready to go?" Marissa asked.
"Definitely…but once you've cleaned your face," Summer said, rustling her hand in her bag.
"Here."
"What is this?" Marissa asked.
"If you read the label, it says 'on the go you never want to look oh-no,' it makes perfect sense," Summer answered, unravelling the plastic cover.
"Right," Marissa said, in a tone not far from mockery.
Marissa wiped her face and the girls headed out.
TBC
I've actually finished this, so once I get a few reviews I'll post the next chapter. It gets funnier, that I promise! Please, PLEASE review!! I BEG you to review, it isn't that hard! LOL. Thanks for reading.