Okay guys, here's a new drabble series! I actually came up with this idea when I realized I left out a joke in "The Adventures of Shaggy, Pugsy, and Flip" final episode (Part 2 to be exact)... so with that in mind, I decided to start a little mini-series about random shots about the characters!
These will include ideas Mr. Cartoon (co-author of the story) and I may have forgot to throw in various episodes; random little one-shots; maybe a crack-fic here or there; and maybe a couple bumpers (i.e. events that take place outside the plot).
So here you go, the first shot!
Disclaimer: We Own Nothing.
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Shaggy would be giving Pugsy a strict lecture on where he kept his stuff after what happened that day.
It was the day after their bowling tournament with Shawn K., as the guys decided to crash at Pugsy's house (like they did every Saturday night) after an embarrassing defeat by Shelly, Melody, and Dotty, the girls beating them by 3 strikes. Well, at least they managed to win against them when Dastardly recruited the girls for his team- then again, they forfeited after finding out the villain had been cheating, though the guys still believed they would have won anyway (or at least that's what Pugsy had said, which was the reason why they had a rematch against the girls in the first place).
The moment they got back from the tournament, they threw their bags on the ground, not caring what poured out upon their collision with the ground.
That is, until Shaggy noticed Pugsy had brought a book along to read... which he didn't notice until AFTER he noticed Flip reading it, which lead to the most awkward moment in his entire life.
It was late Sunday morning. Pugsy was still asleep upstairs in his room (as he always slept in late) and Shaggy was heading to the kitchen to get some breakfast, passing by Flip who was reading a book on the couch, knees folded up so I think that- if they weren't blocking the cover of the book- Shaggy would have noticed and could have avoided what was about to happen.
"Hey, Shaggy, how do you pronounce this word?" Flip asked him.
Shaggy, still a bit groggy from his sleep, leaned over. "Uh, okay, lets see here..." he muttered, squinting as he looked at the word Flip was pointing at. "E... R... E... C..."
His eyes shot wide open, his face blushing scarlet and I think his heart gave out because he dropped to the floor, only to stand up again, completely appalled.
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY ARE YOU READING, CHAN?!" Shaggy swiped the book, looking at the cover. "Where did you get this?!"
"It was by Pugsy's bag." Flip stammered, confused by the older teen's outburst. "I-I thought it was some sort of mystery novel, the cover made it look suspenseful!"
"Oh it's suspenseful alright, but for ENTIRELY DIFFERENT REASONS! Sheesh, Flip, didn't you listen to the rule 'don't judge a book by its cover'?!"
"I thought that was a metaphor for appearances."
"It qualifies for actual books too! Man, I can't believe you read this much... You shouldn't be reading this!"
"Well, some of it I didn't understand... what's it about?"
"It's about... um..." Shaggy was at a loss for words, as he looked at the innocent nine-year-old. "Um... well... it has something to do with how babies are made, just don't ever pick it up ever again, and do NOT tell your dad about this!"
Flip blinked. "O-kay..."
Pugsy walked downstairs, having been awakened by Shaggy's outbursts. "What's going on...?" he mumbled, still half-asleep and quite possibly without a doubt in a bad mood for being awake before 11 AM.
"YOU SICKO!" Shaggy shouted in his face, pointing an accusing finger at the shorter teen, startling him, then waved the book in his face. "What were you thinking, leaving THIS trash lying around your house, where a little kid could find it?!"
Pugsy arched an eyebrow until he noticed the book Shaggy was holding, and he blushed crimson. "...oh crud... Look, Shag, I can explain. While we were bowling, and you were up, and your bowling ball was taking a long time to reach the pins, I went to the library across the street and just grabbed the first book I saw- I didn't even know what it was about until after the first few pages! I planned on returning it the first chance I got! ...how'd you find it anyway?"
"FLIP found it... and he was READING it!"
"...I thought it was a mystery..." Flip gulped.
Pugsy's eyes were wide, and if he wasn't 10 times stronger than Shaggy I'm pretty sure he would lapse out into a stroke and die. "...oh dear Lord Almighty... h-how much did you read, Flip?"
"Just till Chapter 5," Flip answered.
"OH!" Shaggy and Pugsy cried out in alarm.
"Flip, do us a big favor- go watch some kid-friendly cartoons, maybe play some nice videogames, until you forget everything you've read okay?" Shaggy said.
"But, I have a question..."
"Just go do it- Pugsy and I need to talk!"
Flip shrugged, walking out of the room. Shaggy turned to Pugsy, giving him a stern look, and now the shorter teen realized how the lanky teen felt whenever HE was chewing HIM out. "I thought it was still in my bag!" he said quickly.
"It should have been in your fireplace!" Shaggy snapped.
"...I don't have a fireplace, and how was I supposed to know Flip was into literature?! The book didn't even include pictures! (Thank God)."
"What I want to know is since when were YOU into Twilight porn?!"
"I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS... THAT! Otherwise I would have gotten something that didn't decrease humanity's intelligence!"
"Well, it's too late now! Poor Flip must be scarred for life- or, he would be if he understood what that book was about, which I HOPE won't be until he's 21, or until we die."
"Calm down, Shag, kids come across things like this all the time, it's just one of the many misfortunes in life."
"I never came across THIS kind of stuff when I was a kid! ...I'm afraid to ask how you did... What if his dad finds out?!"
"We'll just tell him it was an accident and promise to make sure it never happens again."
Shaggy groaned, rubbing his face. Things couldn't possibly get any more awkward!
But, they did.
Flip walked back in. "Guys, can I ask you my question now?" the nine-year-old asked.
Pugsy and Shaggy exchanged nervous glances, but the shorter teen gave a nod. "Sure, what do you want to talk about?" he asked.
"Well, Shaggy, you said that book at something to do with how babies are made... exactly, how ARE they made?"
If someone had set off a bomb in the room, Shaggy and Pugsy wouldn't have noticed. The two stood there with shrunken pupils, paling skin, and shocked expressions.
Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! Pugsy was thinking, as if wondering whether or not the kid was just funning with him... but Flip's expression proved serious, which made his heart race with nervousness.
Shaggy's mind was a blank, and all he could focus on was holding in his bladder and NOT blacking out.
*THUD!*
It didn't work, as he passed out on the floor. "Um... shouldn't you talk to your dad about that sort of question?" Pugsy asked, awkwardly, his eye twitching.
"Yeah... but he's been really busy on cases right now, and my older siblings are too busy with their own things... so I figured I'd ask you guys."
"Uh-huh... one second." Pugsy grabbed Shaggy by the wrists and dragged the unconscious coward out of the living room and into the privacy of the kitchen, forcing him to stand up. "Okay, we've got a problem!"
"Right... what is it?" Shaggy asked, a bit dazed.
"Flip wants to know how babies are made!"
Shaggy blinked. "Oh... I see. Well good luck!" he then rushed towards the nearest exit, until Pugsy yanked him back.
"Oh no you don't! You're going to help me out with this!"
"Why?! He was reading YOUR book!"
"But YOU told him what it was about!"
"But you- um... give me a minute..."
"Shaggy, do you remember when we were helping Flip out with his first date? We both knew that someday this discussion would come up, and BOTH agreed to inform him of the birds and the bees IF no one in his family would. ...And, as the cruelty of fate would have it, they won't."
Shaggy slouched... he was really regretting helping give Flip pointers on wooing girls. "Yeah... but... I don't think I can, Pugs! I didn't get 'the talk' until I was 17- and it wasn't even my own parents who gave it! Fred, Daphne, and Velma had to explain it to me! ...it went down as one of the most awkward moments ever to happen at a Haunted Aquarium."
"So just tell him what the gang told you,"
"Yeah... but this is different."
Pugsy gave him a look. "How is it different?"
"There's no dolphins involved and I left my security blanket at home."
Pugsy face-palmed. He should have known he'd be doing this by himself. "Fine, I'LL give the talk, you just sit there and be supportive."
Shaggy nodded, and they went into the living room where Flip was waiting. "Alright, Flip, we'll tell you how WOULD YOU PUT THAT BOOK DOWN?!"
Flip set the book down. "I just wanted to know what was going to happen next!" he whimpered.
"Man alive... Just sit down, we've got a LONG talk ahead of us."
*One long, awkward, excruciating, life-scarring, unavoidable discussion later...*
"...and that's why you wait until marriage." Pugsy finished, letting out a heavy sigh, feeling as if he were giving a testimony.
Flip sat there, nodding. "Okay." he said. "That's it?"
Pugsy looked at the nine-year-old, bewildered. He just gave him the most uncomfortable lecture in all the universe, and the nine-year-old was just sitting there as if the teen were helping him with a basic math problem!
"Um... yeah. You're taking it really well."
"Sure I am... what did you expect me to end up like Shaggy?"
They looked down at the floor at Shaggy. Before Pugsy even uttered the word 'sperm', the lanky teen clutched his heart and hit the floor, having a quick spasm until he was lying motionless, his breathing rapid and his pupils enlarged, his left eye twitching.
"Um... more or less." Pugsy answered. "...You sure you're comfortable with these facts?"
"Sure. It's part of the creation of life, right? Thanks for telling me." Flip replied, then walked out to go home.
Pugsy sat back. Maybe it was because Flip was prepared for anything, or maybe he was still young enough where his hormones weren't overbearing... whatever the reason, Pugsy was glad the kid took it in stride.
Shaggy groaned, coming to. "Where's Flip?" he asked.
"He went home. I'm going to go return the book, before it causes any MORE trouble," Pugsy replied, sticking the book in a paper-bag so no one else had to see it and get scarred for life.
"Okay. I'm going to raid your kitchen real quick,"
Pugsy gave him a sneer, hating it when the coward ate his food with little consideration, but only smiled. "Alright, but can I say something first?"
"What?"
Pugsy got up behind him, and whispered, "Fifty Shades of Grey,"
Shaggy blacked out upon the floor within seconds.
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A/N: Yep, awkward and very crack-fic-like. Hope you enjoyed anyway!
Trivia: I didn't know what Fifty Shades Of Grey was about either, until after I wrote the 'Bowling Episode' chapter and came across those "Fifty Shades Challenges" on Youtube... Boy, did I feel embarrassed, but it made for a great joke for this story XD (p.s., I dare you guys to try that sort of challenge with this one-shot XD)
