I sat down with a huff, next to my brothers Roxas and Ventus. They were ganging up on Sora as to who was better, DC or Mavel. Poor guy, he didn't understand. Whatever...What had upset me was that Axel, who was Roxas's best friend, had pestered me all school year and was now at my home for the after school summer party that my brothers threw every single year since the 7th grade.
"What's up? You seem seriously agitated." Aqua, my older friend who was two years older than me like, asked, sipping her cherry coke. She had a donut in her hand. Together we watched sora and Roxas go at each others throats, Axel attempting to tear each other apart. I didn't answer. I just shook my head and smiled softly.
"I'm fine, Aqua. I just...I just feel a little sick." I reassured her, and placed my cup of diet coke down on the coffee table. The music was really loud, and there were dancing bodies everywhere. Hayner was grinding on Sephie and Olette, while Pence was chatting away with Kiari. Vanitas was talking to his best friend Seifer, and his crew of nimrods were dancing with various other people. Axel was running around trying to keep my brother and Sora sane, and ven had gone off and talked to Terra and Riku, some older classmen. Riku and Axel were friends, and in the same grade, while Terra and Aqua were lovers and in collage already.
"Alright..If you feel like talking, let me know okay?" Aqua had begun to slur alittle. I bet Vanitas had spiked her drink. Aqua was crazy when she was drunk. I nodded, and picked myself off of the couch. Chainsaw came on, and I knew I needed to leave bfore things got crazy. So I took one last look at Axel who was chatting with some blonde girl. Our eyes met for a moment, but then I looked away and went upstairs to my room.
It wasn't quiet, but it was better. The music had dulled significantly, and I honestly could live with that. I scooted myself on my bed, laying down right in the middle of the white fuzzy cover, and curled into a ball. I didn't even bother to change my clothes or take my gladiators off. My thoughts just took over me.
To be honest, the truth about Axel was, as much as he annoyed me and stalked me this year, It didn't bother me. Infact I had slightly enjoyed it. But I was mad because he had started flirting with that blonde chick down stairs. And I was in no state to deny it. I really liked Axel. Like, really really liked him. I wasn't obsessed like he claimed to be, but there was one time when I knew i had just fallen in love with the redhead pyromaniac. Because I couldn't stop drawing him.
I retrieved my sketchbook off of my beside table, and opened it up. The first couple of drawings were of Ven and Ventus, Sora Kiari and Riku, Aqua, Myself, Roxas and Axel...and then once I drew him...I couldn't stop. I would take mental pictures of him reading or playing violin or something, and then draw him as soon as I could. I couldn't just capture his beauty.. But I certainly tried.
One picture I liked was this picture I had in a dream once. Axel had confessed his love for me, and we had a long romantic night together. But the first kiss we shared...I wanted to capture. I have a photo graphic memory. I remember every dream I have had ever. I remember being born. I remember my first birthday. But the one thing I am scared of is that I won't remember that dream of Axzel I had. So i drew it. I drew the part I wanted to remember the most.
There was a slight knock on my door. I tossed my sketchbook on to my nightstand and returned to my ball. The door opened alittle. I could smell the gunpowder residue and the campfire. I could hear his converses walk into my white bed room. I could picture his tattoos under his eyes, and that stupid smirk on his face that he wears every single day.
"Namine?" His gentle voice asked. It was him. It was Axel.
I sat up slowly, and turned my head to see the redhead staring at me. There was no smirk. It was a serious face. And he didn't smell like alcohol. I nodded and faced him fully, sitting criss cross on my bed. He sat next to me, doing the same pattern with his long legs.
"What's up Axel?" I asked softly. Axel crossed his arms and squinted at me. He gasped as I blinked again, wondering what he was shocked about.
"Have you been crying?" Axel pushed as lightly as possible. I gasped and felt my face. It was wet and sticky. There was a tear falling down my cheek. I stared at the liquid in awe. I didn't even notice I was shedding tears. I was too wound up thinking about this idiot infront of me.
"oh," I breathed in bewilderment, "I guess I am." Axel took his thumb and wiped it against my cheek. I winced, but I didn't mean to. I was so used to never being touched because of my over protective brothers. A strangers touch was new to me. Axel sighed and let his hands drop between his knees.
"What's bothering you, Nami?" He pestered. I thought about it for a second. Why does it feel like I'm sufficating? Why does my chest hurt? I wasn't before I looked at my sketchbook. I was in denial. It was that stupid blonde downstairs...the one with a bigger chest and longer hair and green eyes. Word around school is that she has tongue as sharp her as knives she carries around. Larxene I think her name is?
"I..I'm not sure to be honest..." I answered un truthfully. WHy did he even come up here? The party is up stairs, not in my bedroom... Didn't he have a girl to go talk to and flirt with? A girl to kiss and touch the way I wish he would to me...like he did in my dream.
"Nami come on." Axel frowned. I sighed, and got off of my bed, crossing my pale arms. Tonight was not my night. I started to pace, so I could think carefully on what I was about to say. I didn't want to sound desperate. I just want to him to know... It wouldn't be fair to him if I kept my secret with me, even though it was about him. I heard him shuffling onto his feet, behind me.
There was silence. "Wow Nami you have a real talent!" Axel laughed. I gasped whipped around at him. He had my sketchbook. I lunged for it imediately, But I missed and Axel kept me away from my beloved book of secrets.
"Whoa whoa don't look at those!" I whined, upset that he had gotten into my sketchbook. Axel chuckled and look at me. He had only gotten so far as to see the first two pictures, of Ventus and Roxas.
"What's wrong Nami? Got pictures of me or somethin'?" Axel joked. I sharply took in a breath and crossed my arms again.
"N-no.." I replied weakly.
"Then come on, let's go through this together!" Axel giggled, flipping through some more pages.
"Whoa...Aqua is seriously detailed in this one. And Look at Terra! And jeez this one of Ven and Roxy, oh hey! ROxy and me! An-" I inhaled again as a perplexed look came onto Axel's tattooed face. I froze solid. The first one was just his face, smoking a ciggerette outside of school. He flipped to the next one of him playing his violin in music class. there were various faces in the next few. One where he got in a fight and was mad, another of him crying, and two of him being stupid with fire and pyro technics. But then...it was That picture.
My breath hitched one last time as Axel flipped the page to see the last drawing I had in there, the picture of my dream. Axel's green eyes were glued to the page. I turned around as I felt a wave of tears coming. I had some serious explaining to do.
"See...I told you not to look in there. That book is like my diary..." I admitted, my arms hugging my stomach now. I felt like I was going to be sick. This couldn't be happening. Not on the first day of summer vacation.
"Namine what's really wrong?" Axel asked, more seriously this time. his voice was low, and his breathing was harder than before. I shook my head and covered my mouth as a queit sob escaped my lips.
"nothing.." my voice quavered.
"Nami, don't bull shit me right now. You were crying when I got up here, you didn't want me to see your sketchbook, and now I see why because there's a picture here that I am really questioning. So please, what's wrong?" His voice got softer towards the end, but still had the agressiveness in it.
"it's just...there's this girl here. and You guys seem like a couple...But.." I stopped t reward what I was going to say. If I wanted to do this, I don't want to sound like I was some desperate slut..
"But what?" Axel pestered. I didn't answer. I had to keep my feelings in control. For the fear that our friendship could break, and that anything I say could ruin it, I needed to keep it together. Some sort.
The silence lasted for a moment. "Namine!" Axel snapped at me. I winced and something just broke my control. I was fuming. Pissed. Angry. Upset. Furious! But it wasn't his fault...
"Because I like you okay? Because i've seen you with that other girl in school. and I don't want you to be with that girl. I want to be that girl! I want this to happen. This dream I had!" I picked up my sketchbook and shoved the picture in his face, tears pouring out of my blue eyes, "This was part of a dream I had. And I can't just sit here and pretend that it didn't mean anything. I just want you to be happy and I'm sorry and I-" I was cut off abruptly, by a familiar scent filling my nostrils, and a feeling that I had never felt before.
Axel's lips captured mine. My eyes slid shut, as it took me just enough to figure out what was happening. Electricty filled my body from the tip to the top. a Warm feeling had spread through me. Axel's hand had traveled up to my cheek, caressing off the remaining tears. He pulled away just so slightly so that our foreheads touched.
"You don't know how long I wanted to do that..." Axel murmured. His breath was hard again, and so was mine. I was confused. What about the other girl? Larxene? I kept my eyes closed, because a new wave of tears could come over me again.
"I don't understand.." I whispered. Axel's hand moved down to my chin, making me look at him. I slowly closed my eyes, and just as I predicted, a tear escaped. Axel's face was blushed slightly, his emerald eyes staring at me. there was something about his eyes, they were gentle, but at the same time piercing.
"Namine. I love you. I have loved you since your freshman year. I'm a college student this year, and you are a senior. I have loved you for almost four years, Namine. And I know you have some sort of affection towards me because of those drawings, those beautiful, wonderful drawings of me that you sketched. Please, don't tell me I'm wrong." Axel's voice went straight into my mind, I couldn't help but to wonder if what he was saying was true. But my heart spoke first.
"I do too..I love..I love you too Axel. " and I went with it. Axel smirked like he usually does, and fixed his snakebites before having his hand return to my cheek again.
"That dream...I can make it come true..But not tonight. tonight is our night to kiss, and hold each other okay? I don't want to hurt you. I just want simple things tonight. Is that okay?" Axel's sweet breath fanned out onto my face. I nodded slowly and smiled gently, as the familiar scent was felt on my lips.
But all good things must come to an end unfortunately, especially when it's your triplette brother Ventus who walks in with other brother Roxas on you. Which is exactly what happened.