Disclaimer: never did and never will own it. Marvel does.
Spoilers: canon until Captain America: Civil War (and the post-credit scenes of Black Panther).
Timeline: supposedly happens between Captain America: Civil War and Avengers Infinity War.
When leaving Wakanda, Steve had promised T'Challa he would be patient. The few days he had spent there had taught him that things were not easy for the young king and that he would have to fight for his birthright – and maybe also for his right to wear the Black Panther habit. So of course, he would have many things to oversee instead of just one broken killing machine, no matter how important Steve judged Bucky to be. Probably because Bucky was only important to him.
So that day, when he came over to visit on his way back from yet another mission with Natasha and Sam, he was quite surprised by the welcome T'Challa gave him. After a few polite exchanges, the young king, clearly impatient, said, "My sister has some things to tell you."
Steve had only met Shuri once, when she had explained to him how she would create a digital representation of Bucky's mind, which would serve for testing purposes. She had grown grave when hearing the extend of the damages Bucky had suffered and she had promised to do her best to remove 'what HYDRA had put in him', as Bucky would say, all the while keeping all his memories intact. At least, those he had recovered. For a moment, Steve had almost thought he was listening to Tony and T'Challa had assured him that his sister was a true genius – a pranking genius, he had added a bit sourly.
She had been very regal the last time he had seen her, so he didn't expect her to be wearing jeans and a Winter Soldier t-shirt. Where had she found this one? Steve wondered if there were Red Skull t-shirts or Armin Zola t-shirts. She grinned at him.
"It's just because it annoys him to no end," she said as way of an explanation.
Before Steve could consider the 'him', Bucky appeared behind Shuri, looking forbidding. He had just jeans and a pale blue t-shirt, far from his all black Winter Soldier outfit, no visible weapon at hand. Even his new bionic arm was different, with gold lining and no more red star on it. Then Bucky saw Steve and smiled at him, the kind of smile that made Steve feel sixteen years old again.
"You–"
"Don't you go ask me if I know you," Bucky interrupted him. "Shuri and T'Challa would not have brought you here otherwise."
Unable to restraint himself, Steve hugged him. Bucky tensed before returning the hug. Steve remembered that moment in the Quinjet, when arriving at the Siberian HYDRA base, when he had put his hand on Bucky's shoulder and Bucky had looked at it with some kind of surprise. He was no more used to small gestures of affection.
"It will come back," Steve murmured.
"It already has, but it's strange... Almost like dreams. As if I imagined it, but it never was real."
"I can spend all my free time retelling you everything for making it real again."
"You would!" Bucky's smile was larger now, but he sobered suddenly. "I'm not sure we'll have the time. Things... I don't know, things are going to get... strange."
T'Challa and Shuri were not even pretending they were not listening. Bucky frowned.
"You told me about the Infinity Stones. Is that the name? Well, the gems your Thor mentioned. Great power. Look at what one of them can accomplish with Vision, even if he's no match for our Wanda. Thor said it was not a coincidence."
"Right. That we were pawns. Someone is overseeing the whole thing."
"What if... what if the scission between Stark and you was part of that plan? Team Cap, team Iron Man? If we fight together, we have more chances to win than if there are feuds in our ranks."
"Divided we fall...," Steve murmured, thinking it over.
"Divided we die," Bucky corrected. "And I'm the cause of that rift."
"No, you're not. Tony and I were already arguing about the Sokovia Accords."
"Arguing. Not fighting. Not hitting each other to the point that he thought you were going to kill him."
"He tried–"
"He tried to keep you away. Had you remained on the side lines, nothing would have happened to you. He was after me and would have killed only me."
"We would have lost a great fighter then," T'Challa said.
Bucky had a nod to acknowledge the compliment. Steve took a deep breath.
"I would not have been able to look at myself afterwards. Abandon you for things that weren't your fault? Ditching my first and oldest friend for a new one? How could Tony respect me if I abandoned my old friend for any new one? Especially when the new friend was wrong. If I'm not loyal to you, then why would I be loyal to him?" Then he gave him a pained look. "You were in need of help. Would I be your friend if I had turned my back to you at that time? You never turned yours when I was in need."
"I... Damn it, Steve, I was not trying to make you feel guilty. I was just saying... I mean, Stark wanted to preserve your friendship."
"Was he? I don't know. Not long before, he told me that he had hated me during all his young years because of the friendship between his father and me. Then he said he didn't want to be see me leave because they needed me. You understand? You never needed me, but you never wanted me to leave."
Bucky strode forward and hugged him fiercely. "You jerk. I always needed you. You are my friend, damn it!"
Steve returned the hug just as fiercely. "Exactly what I was saying." Nobody commented on his emotion-laden voice.
-o-o-
"Cap?"
"Stop calling me that, Tony." Steve sighed. "If you don't remember my name, I go by Nomad nowadays." He looked down at his black uniform and had a wry smile as he remembered that he had been happy to see Bucky in another colour.
"You do? That's ridiculous."
"That defines what I do and what I am, more than Captain America ever did. Besides you told me I didn't deserve that shield."
"Yes, I did." Steve wondered if it was regret he heard in Tony's voice. But he didn't let it stop him. Tony was known to be able to express regrets and then sprout the most idiotic thing ever.
"At the time, since I made what looked like a very selfish choice, I agreed with you. Now, I ask you: who are you to tell me if I'm deserving or not?"
Tony made a gagging sound at the other end of the line.
"You're a lot like your father, you know. Like him, you are untouchable, because you are rich and have done so many things for the Army and the government. But Wanda is none of that. You were her only protection and you failed her."
Tony didn't answer immediately. Steve hoped it was because he was feeling guilty.
"Now, she's yours," Tony finally said, very formally.
Steve laughed. "No, she's not. Someone else is watching over her. Closely, in case you wonder. I can't, not with being abroad all the time." He knew that she was Bucky's. His friend had taken a liking to the young woman when they had rescued her – and the others – from the Raft. Maybe it had been due to the straight jacket he had found Wanda in. It had not seated well with him. T'Challa had been less than enthusiastic to offer asylum to her, but Bucky had been persuasive. Wanda had remained calm and subdued while Bucky had been in cryostasis, though from what Steve had been told, she had come every day, leaning her hands and head against the cool glass who kept Bucky frozen as if it could help him – or her. Now, they were often together and Wanda helped Bucky with his uneasiness about casual touches. It also helped that he had absolutely no fear of her.
"But you didn't call me for that."
"Thor told us about the Infinity Stones. I thought it would be a good idea to put Vision under protection. Maybe whoever is keeping an eye on Wanda can protect Vision also."
"Does he really need protection? I believe him fully capable to protect himself."
"To make it harder to reach him, if you prefer. We may be facing the end of all things."
"I'll send Nat to you."
"She's with you then?"
"You didn't give her much choice, if I understood well."
"I didn't denounce her to Secretary Ross."
"You know that's not what I meant."
"You actually kept them all by your side?"
"Clint is back with his wife and kids and Scott with his daughter. But I know where the others are, yes."
Tony didn't answer. Among the others, there was Bucky and Tony certainly didn't want to talk or think about Bucky.
"Send with Nat whoever you want to be protected," Steve said. "Doing it alone is not the solution to every problem."
Tony grunted and hung up. Steve sighed. Still, they had talked and he didn't even regret those little jabs. Maybe it was time that he put Tony back to his place instead of meekly protesting and dealing with the consequences afterwards.
-o-o-
Natasha left with the Quinjet, while Steve and Sam went to destroy yet another load of Chitauri weapons. Steve was feeling very tired with that, but less enhanced weapons on Earth meant more security. They coordinated themselves so that Natasha picked them up before going back to Wakanda. Steve was surprised to see that Bruce and Rhodes were with Vision.
"That bad?" he said tightly.
At first, Rhodes didn't even look at him and Bruce answered in his stance. "Tony tried to put Pepper on board too, but she wouldn't hear of it. She said she had Extremis anyway, so the villain better be prepared for a firebrand if he angered her." He glanced at Rhodes. "It would have been better if some of us had stayed with him," he added softly. "He needs to be watched over. He's pushing himself too hard. But he wanted us safe."
"He believes he will fail in keeping you safe," Steve realised. "He doesn't think he'll pull it through this one, does he?"
"We have worrisome news. There are strange things happening in New York. Someone is after the Infinity Stones and he has an Infinity Gauntlet on which he can put the stones. Whatever that means exactly. Apparently, he already has a first stone, the Power Stone, which he took from the Nova Corps."
"Who?"
"The Nova Corps. The intergalactic military and police force. The Guardians of the Galaxy had given them the stone for safekeeping, knowing how dangerous it was."
"Who are the Guardians of the Galaxy?" Sam asked. Steve was feeling lost also.
Bruce sighed. "Sorry, I forgot you're not up to date with what we know and whom we met. This situation is strange. The Guardians of the Galaxy are, uh, a group of... well, maybe we could call them the Space Avengers."
"Oh. Misfits with a same goal, so they teamed up," Sam commented.
Bruce looked at him with a kind of stupor. Rhodes snickered.
"Anyway. Gamora, one of them, came to talk to us. She knows the guy who's after the stones. It's her adoptive father, Thanos, also called the 'Mad Titan'.
"And she's siding with us?"
"Yeah. Not a happy childhood. As for the next part, Thanos put his hand on Loki and the Tesseract."
"Loki? As in the Loki who brought the Chitauri to Earth?"
"Yes, that one. He redeemed himself and Thor trusts him enough to give him the Tesseract. He's playing the inside spy. To great risks for his life, might I add."
"Which means that Thanos will soon have a second stone, no? How long will Loki be able to detain him from taking it from the Tesseract?"
"I don't know, but I think the best one for that is the God of Mischief."
"Any other bad news?"
"That we're here with criminals is not bad news enough for you?" Rhodes said aggressively. "You're making Tony feel guilty while you're a mighty hypocrite! You worked for the government and when they tell you that you need to be overseen, you leave!"
"I worked for the government until I discovered how corrupt they were. Then I dismantled them and left. When S.H.I.E.L.D became compromised, I didn't say 'Let get the helicarriers down and carry on', I said, 'The helicarriers and S.H.I.E.L.D go down'. When I worked with the Avengers, we had our own agenda, not one dictated by governments. No matter what Secretary Ross said, we care more for the damages than he ever did. You know, Pietro's words are still in my head when he saw Fury's helicarrier arrive at Sokovia. He said, 'This is S.H.I.E.L.D?' And when I told him that it was what S.H.I.E.L.D was supposed to be, he said 'This is not so bad'. If S.H.I.E.L.D was what it was supposed to be, believe me, I would still be working for them. But not when they make weapons of mass destruction, able to kill one thousand targets at the same time instead of protecting the people. You should know about that. You have been used enough to know people and agendas change."
Rhodes nodded slowly, but his face was still closed.
"Maybe we need supervision. But I'm not the one who used my suit to break glasses of champagne during a party or eat a burger on top of a building. I'm not the one who created Ultron. Maybe the reason why Tony was so adamant for those Accords was because he knew he needed supervision. But we all know, you the first one, that he rarely listens to any kind of advice. On the other hand," he added more gently, "I understand how hard it can be to listen to critics against your best friend, no matter his shortcomings. You're loyal to him and I value that. I regret that you were hurt during what should have remained between Tony and I."
Rhodes nodded again, this time less tense.
-o-o-
Fortunately when T'Challa welcomed them all, Bucky was nowhere in sight. Vision looked around for Wanda, but she was not visible either. T'Challa was genuinely friendly but that didn't stop the worry to show on his face.
"We're making Wakanda a target," Steve guessed.
"We would have been one anyway. Besides, we would never have stood aside." He smiled at Shuri who grinned.
"Too many gadgets to test and not enough test subjects!" she exclaimed as gleeful as a child. "I made you a new uniform, Nomad, all black, since this is how you want it. I got inspired by your old uniforms, so you won't feel uncomfortable. I added arm shields. You'll tell me what you think of them. You," she pointed at Sam, "I improved your wings."
Steve left discreetly as she was explaining to Sam, then to Natasha all the things she had made for them. Not long after, Bucky joined him, sweaty and carrying Wanda in his arms. Steve had a curious look in his direction. Bucky seemed to only notice Wanda.
"Sorry," he said, putting her down. "Go find Vision and thanks." As Wanda left running, Bucky added, "Part of my new training. I carry Wanda around to increase my strength and endurance while running and such. She... It means she's not lonely that way."
Steve continued his way and Bucky followed him silently.
"What troubles you?"
"You told me... the fight between us has been engineered."
"That's no news. Zemo told us himself."
"Yeah, that, but you spoke of someone playing with us. Someone who would benefit from our division. The thing that pushed Tony over the edge was that video. If it had been only his father, maybe he would not have snapped that much, but his mother? Especially since he was already unbalanced because of Pepper and him breaking up. The timing was perfect."
"It may be a coincidence. The Accords, the break up, the video. But I rather think Zemo has planned it that way. He said he had been studying you for a year. He could have decided that this was the best time, since Stark was emotionally unstable."
"What?"
"He could have started it anytime, Steve! All he needed was the video to push Stark after me. All the rest around it was just… just for show!"
"How did he know where to find that video?"
"I told him. Siberia. I knew it was there, since I brought it myself. I mean, he didn't ask me precisely for the video, but somehow, he knew. No, not somehow. I'm stupid. I looked for it while you were gone. Zemo didn't just spend his time looking at you. He searched the data Romanoff dumped on the Internet and spent time decrypting it. He's patient, he said so. He probably found lots of things in HYDRA data, but I know there are some things he couldn't find there. The book with the trigger words. They wouldn't have put the trigger words in a database where everyone could have accessed it. It was a well-kept secret. Only one person had the book and the words."
"Who?"
"The one who controlled me back then. Vasily Karpov."
"So he helped Zemo?"
"No, Zemo killed him. Karpov was HYDRA through and through. Zemo couldn't care less for HYDRA."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because he killed the five Winter Soldiers. I found an obscure news report about Karpov being found dead. Zemo tortured him, probably to make him say something. The place of the video. No. No, once again, I'm not thinking it through. The first thing he asked me when he triggered me was about the mission… well, you know which one. Argh! I told him. I told him. I gave him a detailed account of the mission, including the fact that I shot the camera. He probably asked Karpov, who didn't tell him, so he came after me. Once he conditioned me, I would have told him everything he wanted to know."
"You put a lot of thought into that."
Bucky had a humourless laugh. "Though Stark would never believe it, I hate that people mess with my mind."
"So you torture yourself with how you could have avoided it?"
He shrugged. "You know, they told me they needed me so that HYDRA could free the people. They wanted me to think I was fighting for the good. But somehow, I knew they were lying because each time I recovered a bit of my old memories, I would doubt. Killing never seemed to be the right solution. So they would wipe my mind again… Maybe if I had been stronger…"
Steve hated the pain in Bucky's eyes.