Wandering Hands
Ianto flicked the light switch on and surveyed the room. Everything was perfect, each item in its own place, exactly how he had left them. It seemed that for once Jack had managed to avoid the temptation to snoop. Ianto sighed. He was rather proud of his little tourist office. It was his pet project and a key element of Torchwood's security.
"Ianto!"
The Captain's voice sailed through the dark tunnels of the underground base. Of course, Jack had been watching the CCTV waiting for Ianto to arrive. It was their morning ritual.
Ianto straightened his tie before heading to the lift that would take him further down into the Hub. He always liked to look his best for Jack. Not that the tie would be straight for long, if Jack's wandering hands got anywhere near it.
The cog door rolled back and revealed the wide, open space that was the centre of Torchwood's operations. The tower, glistening in the artificial light, instantly attracted Ianto's attention. He noted that mould was growing around the base of the fountain again. That would be another afternoon's work.
Jack sauntered out of his office and waited, casually, as Ianto approached.
"And how is my gorgeous Welshman today?" Jack cooed, grinning like a naughty school boy. Ianto was instantly suspicious.
"What have you been doing?" he asked, frowning slightly.
Jack laughed.
"Oh...that... nothing... it was nothing..."
"Jack..."
"I've been..." Jack began hesitantly. "I was looking for something in the Archives. I could have sworn we'd got a document somewhere on Glugg Worms. And well, I couldn't find it..."
Jack was avoiding eye contact. He knew from past experience that Ianto wouldn't be happy with him.
"Have you made a mess?" Ianto asked, not really want to know the answer.
"I'll buy you a pizza... and coffee... and we can go to the cinema."
Jack smiled hopefully.
Ianto wasn't impressed.
"How many times do I have to tell you Jack? Leave the Archives alone! It will take me ages to organise them again. Do you know how many filing systems I operate down there? Each file has to be numbered, then cross-referenced, then added to the computer database, then duplicated...and then it has to go on the right shelf, in the right order, in chronological order from the date of the first incident!"
Ianto breathed heavily before continuing. Jack looked increasingly guilty.
"There is a reason I do the paper work here. I'm the only one with the time and the patience and the only one who has the faintest idea how an Archive works! So if you've left my Archives in a state, you damn well owe me more than pizza Jack!"
The silence which followed Ianto's outburst seemed endless. Whilst Ianto glared at Jack, the Captain stood grinning like some childish buffoon.
"I'm so sorry Ianto," he gulped, fluttering his eyelids and beaming sincerely.
Ianto ignored him, instead focusing his attention on the litter which cluttered Owen's desk. He flung the scrunched up balls of paper, sweet wrappers and empty crisp packets indifferently into the bin. Jack knew better than to interrupt him. He snuck off quietly to his office whilst Ianto seethed.
Half an hour later, Ianto had tided Owen, Tosh and Gwen's desks. He'd diligently made Jack his morning coffee and plonked it unceremoniously in front of the Captain. Jack had murmured his thanks and waited for Ianto to reply, but the young Welshman had left without a word.
It was a Thursday, so the others would be in after noon. This was the time when Jack usually caught up on his messages and phone calls but today he just couldn't concentrate. He'd been watching Ianto skulking around the Hub, all the time feeling incredibly ashamed of his own behaviour. Ianto had warned him before that messing with the Archives was a bad idea, but Jack had been too much of his happy-go-lucky self to pay attention. It had been an hour since Ianto had ventured down to examine the mess Jack had made. Jack was getting worried. Silence from Ianto meant trouble.
Deep below, in the dark recesses of the Hub, Ianto was absorbed in correcting Jack's 'searching'. Compared to what Ianto had been expecting, the reality wasn't actually that bad. Not that he was going to tell Jack that. Apart from a few misplaced files and a trail of scattered papers, the Archives weren't too misshapen. Ianto could have corrected the mistake in fifteen minutes, but he took his time, knowing full well Jack would be fretting upstairs. It was time for Mr Harkness to pay for his interfering.
Predictably, Jack didn't stay in his office long. It was barely another five minutes before Ianto heard the distinctive sound of footsteps upon damp cobbles. A figure appeared in the doorway.
"You ok?" Jack enquired.
Ianto kept his back to the Captain.
"Fine thank you."
"Ianto please," Jack begged. "I can't stand this any longer! I'm really, really sorry!"
Ianto turned to face his lover.
"I've thought of a way you can repay me," he explained.
Jack sighed audibly.
"Anything! I'll do anything!"
"Go to the store cupboard. Get an old toothbrush from the ones I keep for cleaning. You'll need a pair of rubber gloves; I recommend the pink ones. Then a pair of wellies and an apron."
Jack looked puzzled.
"I want you to clean the mould off the water fountain. By hand. No alien technology allowed and I'll be watching so you can't cheat."
Ianto looked rather pleased with himself. Although disgruntled, Jack nodded submissively.
"Off you go then!" Ianto smirked.
This was the scene Owen, Tosh and Gwen walked in on three quarters of an hour later. Their boss, Captain Jack Harkness, was stood ankle deep in water, beside the iconic fountain wearing a pair of green Wellington boots, holding a tooth brush and supporting a beautiful, bright pink pair of rubber gloves. Ianto, usually the serious one of the group, was relaxing lazily on a chair, reading a magazine and watching over the proceedings. A pizza box and empty Coke bottle lay at his feet.
Revenge is sweet my friends, revenge is sweet.