So, I was extremely bored, and was a little bit hyper, so I figured…hey, why not satisfy the yaoi fans of my fic, NSA, and write some crack-ish shonen-ai (yes, because there is no sex) situations that could have arisen in particular parts of chapters?

If you have not read No Strings Attached, you may not understand a lot of the stuff going on in this one-shot. You have been forewarned.

REMEMBER: There are only going to be…like…a few of these in this collection that are related to NSA. They are to satisfy MY cravings too, you know. (stubborn grunt) Not all of them are necessarily romantic (of the NSA ones)

Note: If you haven't read past chapter 15, this will spoil later chapters for you.

First up: BakuraxMalik

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

Insert Witty Banter Here

A Series of Unfortunate (Bad) Decisions

"You idiot." Malik hissed, his eyes narrowed dangerously.

Bakura smiled coldly at the Egyptian, "no, Malik."

"Yes, you are an idiot." Malik snapped. He was extremely mad at the spirit, and the rage was clear as day. "Don't you get that you might've just screwed us over completely? She'll tell her friends that we're just as evil as expected, and then we'll be fucked for allies, thanks to you!"

Bakura didn't respond.

"Answer me, damn it!" Malik shouted, grabbing Bakura's shoulders with more force than necessary. He shook him a couple times just to make a point.

"I did what was necessary." The spirit replied in a monotone, his eyes half-lidded in what appeared to be boredom. He didn't make a move to remove Malik from his person.

Ryou was so angry that he was completely silent on the issue.

Malik's face twisted in unadulterated rage, and he pulled back and punched Bakura in the face. The Spirit of the Ring's head snapped to the side from the impact, and there was a dark red mark already where Malik's fist had connected with the spirit's face.

"You shouldn't have done that," Bakura said quietly, spitting some blood from his mouth where he must've bitten his cheek. Before Malik had realized what had happened, Bakura used his freed hand to grab hold of the front of Malik's shirt.

He pulled the blonde towards him forcefully, and used the momentum to spin around and literally throw Malik to the ground. He was on top of the young man in an instant, wrestling him into immobility, pinning his arms above his head with one arm and sitting on his stomach. His other arm went to Malik's throat, not tightly, but with enough pressure to assure that the Egyptian would not struggle.

"Listen to me, you witless fool." Bakura snarled, his face barely inches from Malik's, "what I did was absolutely necessary. We have to ascertain immediately that we are not loyal to either side. The fact that we are going to help these children's side of the war is only due to convenience for us."

Malik should have just agreed. Hell, he did agree. He knew what Bakura meant. He knew that Bakura was right.

But in a moment of complete stupidity, Malik did the opposite to what he should have done.

"Yeah, well, Bakura," Malik continued in a hiss, closing more distance between their faces, "fuck you."

And he began to struggle to get the thief off of him.

Typically, Malik would have been able to throw someone that was on top of him off. However, Bakura was an extremely skilled fighter and knew just how to wedge himself to avoid losing whatever upper hand he'd gained. In this particular instance, his 'upper hand' had wedged him right on top of Malik.

He was trying to prove a point. Malik knew that, but the close proximity between them was really starting to piss him off. Malik was one of those people who kind of enjoyed some space between himself and the next guy.

"Stay down," the thief warned.

Malik, caught up in his frenzy of stubbornness, refused to listen to his comrade.

"Malik…!" Bakura shouted, struggling to keep the younger male down. They struggled for a few more moments, Malik trying to get free and Bakura trying to keep Malik down.

Bakura wanted to make Malik listen and understand.

Malik couldn't give less of a crap, and wanted Bakura the heck off of him.

Ryou, watching from the figurative sidelines, really had no idea what to do. He reckoned that he really should just let them sort it out themselves. He'd already figured out what Bakura had been doing, intimidating Luna like that, and had forgiven his other half for his weird way of doing things.

Besides, Bakura was only really doing it all for the thrill of riling his two friends up. At this point, however, he was frustrated at losing his amusement. Now, he just wanted to beat Malik up a bit.

The youngest of the three sighed. This was so dumb.

"Get off," he grunted, trying to hit the spirit with his free hand, "of me!"

Bakura easily blocked the punch, but was having a little more trouble keeping the writing body under him from actually managing to move him.

It was a question of pride at this point, really.

"Stop moving," Bakura hissed through the struggling, "and you won't have a problem."

"Screw you!"

Malik would later regret the next thing he did. In fact, it would bring many a nightmare and later give a certain being that would occupy his head some serious blackmail material.

Bakura, in the effort to keep Malik's flailing arms down, had allowed one of Malik's legs to break free. Malik used this leg, in a moment of blind heat-of-battle, testosterone-fueled man-rage, to knee Bakura in the ass.

This particular motion sent the spirit's upper body forwards.

Due to the close proximity of their faces for the duration of the scuffle, Bakura's face went flying downwards.

And he found himself suddenly lip-locked with a certain dumb ass blonde.

Everything kind of froze, when that happened. Both of them paused, wide-eyed, unable to really gauge what had just happened.

It was only until Ryou spoke, within his link to Bakura, that the trance was very abruptly broken.

- Oh dear God… -

Bakura's head snapped backwards, and he rolled off of the Egyptian. As this happened, both of them shouted "Fuck!"

Well, the moment did sort of call for some profanity.

Ryou had wanted to start laughing, but the pure shock at the entire situation had him unable to really say much of anything. It was probably for the better. He didn't want Bakura to start exploring whether or not it was possible to choke the spiritual version of your lighter half.

"You idiot!" Bakura yelled, leaping to his feet, "why the hell did you do that?"

Malik scrambled to his feet also, quite a bit less gracefully than Bakura had, "What? Me? You're blaming me?"

"It's your fault."

"You had me pinned to the ground!" Malik pointed out, stabbing a finger in Bakura's direction.

Bakura snorted.

"What?" Malik snapped, "Did you like it?"

Worst possible question to ask. Even thought it was intended with sarcasm, Bakura took the opportunity to take it in the most unintended route possible.

The spirit was on him in an instant, gripping Malik's waist and pulling him close. "Why? Did you?" He asked, his voice a velvety lilt, his eyes burning with lusty fire.

"Hell no!" Malik squirmed in Bakura's grip. "Now let me go, you fool!"

Ryou squeaked.

Bakura drew a caressing hand down the side of Malik's face, which made him freeze and meet the white-haired male's eyes. Bakura stopped to grip Malik's chin, bringing his face close.

"You've hurt my feelings," Bakura murmured quietly, his voice almost husky.

"Good." Malik hissed back, struggling even harder.

Bakura just smiled, a very perturbing, dark, sexy smile.

"No!" Malik shouted, "Don't kiss me again!"

The spirit, contrary to Malik's pleadings, did not move. He didn't close any more distance, but he did keep their faces so close that Malik could feel the hot breath on his face.

Pause.

"What? Am I not a good enough kisser?" Bakura queried good-naturedly and drew back, letting go of Malik fully. He crossed his arms, the smile vanishing for a wicked smirk.

Malik was panting from his efforts. "Fuck. You."

The spirit's mouth turned down into a thoughtful frown. "I guess not, then." He shrugged, taking a few steps away from Malik, to allow him some space. The smug grin reformed.

"You…did that on…purpose."

Bakura didn't answer, only continued to grin. There was a mischievous light in his eyes.

Oh yes, he'd definitely done it on purpose.

Ryou twitched. So, when he lost his chance to torment Malik over the Luna thing, he found another way…

Malik glared. If looks could kill, there was no doubt that Bakura would be dead…er. More dead.

He was kind of dead already.

"I do hope that this opened your eyes, Malik." Bakura drawled, turning away from the irate blonde to go back up to the school.

Malik paused, not really sure whether or not he wanted to ask. "Opened my eyes to what, Tomb Robber?"

Well, Malik was certainly full of bad choices that day.

Bakura's grin turned positively feral. "That you'd be the uke in our relationship."

Malik sputtered out a 'what?' at Bakura's very derogatory statement. He nearly tripped as he proceeded to give chase to Bakura, who appeared to be having the time of his life.

Well, no one said that with age came maturity.

Not in Bakura's case, anyway.

END

I…really have no words. Which, basically, means that I want to avoid taking responsibility. XD

Review if you liked it. I'm sure that I'll think up a RyouxMalik one…eventually. Ideas in reviews would be appreciated. This really is just a fun thing, to divert from the seriousness that the actual fic has turned to.