Missing Angel.

Disclaimer: Buffy is not mine and probably will never be mine sadly…

A/N: I randomly came up with this idea in cell biology cuz ya know buffy and cell biology, who wouldn't see the connection there right? The part with faith is dedicated to Emma cuz she is stuck in the dark side plus she edited the first part…by the way I spaced everything by hand so sorry if its a little messed up I tried really hard to make it right but i dont even know...

Warning character death!

Buffy gracefully avoided an oncoming blow from a vampire, plunging a stake through the heart of the vampire, mechanically going through the motions, it didn't seem to makemuch of a difference what she did anymore. Leaving Sunnydale in a giant crater was supposed to be a new beginning for her, a chance to be normal and happy, plus her last meeting with a certain tall, dark and gorgeous vampire gave her hope of a future, he wasn't getting any older he had said. He was gone though, darkness clouded her eyes, neither of them could have imagined that she would out live him. She took her anger out on the vampires she was currently fighting, it was a nest and she decided to take it on alone, what difference did it make anymore if she lived or died when every chance at happiness was ripped away from her, again. Damn Angel, why didn't he just ask her for help taking down Wolfram and Hart? He was too damn stubborn, always taking all of the world's problems onto his own shoulders, it pissed her off. He had always saved her whether she wanted him to or not why couldn't he let her do the same for her. He took down the evil law firm at the price of his life and his friends lives. Tears started to well up in her hazel eyes, she felt it when he died, continents separated them and yet she could still feel him as if he was right next to her. Inside, she felt the gut wrenching, heart breaking end to Angel. At that very moment it felt as if she died right along with him. Giles and Willow had no idea what had happened when she returned from patrolling that night but they could tell that her light was gone. The unique sparkle and fire that was indefinitely Buffy had disappeared. She couldn't tell them, she couldn't speak the words that she unfortunately knew were the truth. That night had to be the longest night she had ever experienced. She went through moments where she couldn't breathe because the sadness was too much and other moments where she got uncontrollably furious at Angel, shouting up to the skies yelling at him and at the Powers That Be, she couldn't understand, she did everything they asked, he had saved and protected more people than she could count, including herself, why did they still find him unworthy? He sacrificed everything to atone for his past, including any kind of happiness for himself and yet they still let him die. There was nothing left to fight for, if there was a higher power they obviously didn't care about Angel or herself so why bother? Half heartedly Buffy staked another vampire not acknowledging or just not caring that she was completely out numbered and the vamps were closing in on her. Suddenly she closed her eyes and stood still. The greatest vampire slayer to ever exist finally decided that enough was enough, and she would choose her fate.

Willow, Giles, Xander and Faith were quickly getting more worried about Buffy as each minute passed and she wouldn't walk through the door. Something was wrong, something had to have happened the other night when she was out patrolling, Giles hadn't seen her look that hopeless since Angel had left her. The light behind her eyes was missing, her passion disappeared along with the golden shine that seemed to follow her wherever she went. His glasses seemed to circle back to dirty from cleaning them so much as he watched the clock and the door simultaneously, waiting for his slayer to appear.

"Giles, I think I just figured out what's wrong with Buffy" Willow declared sadly as she peered through the living room door, "Come look at this!" Giles followed her to the living room where the news was on the TV.

"Good lord, this could only mean that Angel is…" Giles couldn't finish his sentence, although he personally didn't like Angel he understood what he had meant to Buffy even after all of these years. He understood that Angel and Angelus are most definitely not one in the same but the anger and hurt still insisted on blaming the one with the Angelic face for the death of Jenny Calendar. His head knew that it was the demon, not the soul that murdered his girlfriend and that Angel would not commit the crime but would suffer everyday for it but his heart could not make the distinction between the two. He uttered his infamous "dear lord" and quickly grabbed his coat and instructed the others to the same, things were worse than anything he could ever imagine.

Buffy felt her body being shredded into pieces by the monsters she was born to fight and she was fighting ever fiber in her being to not strike back, every cell in her body was screaming to fight back or get the hell out but the slayer forced her chameleon eyes shut and swallowed the pain, she finally gets to choose her fate in life and she refused to do another thing for any higher powers, they did nothing but cause her pain so why shouldn't she return the favor? She smiled slowly slipping into oblivion.

Faith, Willow, Giles and Xander searched the city for the broken slayer. Faith somehow knew exactly where she would be if she were the blonde slayer but kept her mouth shut in case she was wrong, she didn't want to waste time in case she didn't find Buffy. Buffy felt robbed and furious and pain and above all else guilt, something Faith and the vampire with a soul knew a lot about. Buffy wasn't afraid of death, she would return the favor to the powers that be for everything they had given her. Faith broke out into a run against time hoping she would find her sister slayer before she did anything crazy.

"Buffy" A voice whispered her name like a prayer. She no longer felt pain as she arose from the grimy floor, dusting her pants off she searched for the owner of the voice, which wasn't too hard, it wasn't exactly a spacious room. She loved the way he said her name like a prayer, the only ray of hope in his dark world, the only person in the universe that could make her feel that special and most of all, loved. Angel. She smiled, she was home.

Faith felt her thighs burn and beads of sweat fall from her forehead she pushed herself to go faster, Angel had done everything and more for her, the least she could do is keep his whatever she was to him, from turning into another brooding, stuck in the shadows, guilty hero, of course she had to be alive for that, so faster would be better. She made her way to the newly discovered vampire nest hoping that the slayer still had a heartbeat, she wasn't up for dealing with a prettier girly Angel or staking the person who saved her in more ways than one. She pried open the door and prayed to something she wasn't too sure she believed in that Buffy was alive.

Buffy made her way across the room and instead of folding into his embrace she smacked his chest, demanding an explanation for the last couple months. "What is your malfunction? You come save me whenever you want, just drop by, hey just thought I would but into your apocalypse but you can't even call or send a text hey it's the end of the world wish me luck? How can you even justify to yourself that not asking me for help was the right thing, hell I have an army of slayers I would want my help any day of the week!" Angel let her rant end and carefully considered what he should say to his love without causing her or himself anymore pain than they already had been through.

"Buffy, you were dating the immortal, partying in Rome, having the normal life you always wanted, I saw you in Rome you had moved on, Andrew told us that you moved on so we should do the same, I didn't want to ruin that for you." Buffy stared at him for a second and suddenly began cracking up. The laughing was starting to creep him out when she finally got control of herself and was smiling brightly. Angel hasn't seen one of those smiles in a long time, he couldn't help but smile back.

"So let me get this straight, you saw me in Rome, without saying so much as hi, listen to Andrew of all people," she couldn't help but roll her eyes it seemed like a natural reflex anytime the person is mentioned, "Figure I'm DATING the Immortal, and just fly back to LA and conquer Wolfram and Hart without even second guessing any of that story, what did you hit your head so much in battle that you forgot who the hell I am?"

"So none of that is true?" Angel seemed to have a new kind of hope in his eyes, "What about when Andrew told me that you didn't trust me anymore?"

"Again, Andrew," The reflex eye roll, she had no control over her eyes, they just had a mind of their own. "I figured their was a reason you were doing what you doing and that I probably didn't have the whole story, I knew that you would never, unless your soul was gone, do any of the things people were telling me about, Angel if there is anything in this world that I could count on it was you, there was no doubt in my heart that I could trust you, I always have and always will, lucky for you I am worse than a golden retriever when it comes to loyalty." She smiled and brought her small battered hands to his angelic face, "You have no idea how much I missed you, my Angel" He placed his large hand on top of hers and laced his fingers with her smaller ones.

"I do, believe me you have no idea, I watch over you Buffy. You suffer from so much pain and I know it hurts but remember on that Christmas Eve? You told me not to give up, fighting is hard and it hurts and it is every day. Buffy you have to fight, you wouldn't let me give up and I will not let you, trust me I know that it hurts but know that someday we will be together, our souls belong together. I'm not going anywhere and you should enjoy life and your family and friends because in the end we will be together forever, I'm waiting and I'm not getting any older, but you have to. You Buffy Summers are a born fighter, slayer or not, live your life in honor of me and those who died fighting the good fight, be the girl that I love and cherish so much. You always be my girl and I'll be watching over you, promise me that you will never try anything like this again. You don't always have to carry the world on your shoulders, you don't have to be strong for everyone, if you ever feel like the world is crashing down on you just close your eyes and I will be there, I will be strong for you, forever works for me ok?"

Buffy smiled at the memory of him holding her underneath that tree after her mom's funeral, he was always holding her world together when she thought it was going to rip her apart, she had asked him if forever worked for him, he never gave her an answer until now. "Ok forever works and I promise I will fight but not because the Powers want me to its because I'm me and for you, and Anya, and Kendra, and Miss Calendar, and Cordy, fight the good fight right?"

"That's my girl." Angel pulled her into his arms savoring the feeling.

"Always, my guardian angel." He brought his lips down to hers and with a feather light kiss he was gone.

Faith scanned the empty room for a sign that the small blonde woman, she was hoping that her gut was wrong and that Buffy was dealing with pain at a bar somewhere like normal people do. Buffy, normal, like that would ever happen. She squinted at a dark corner in the back of the room and saw a mass that she seriously hoped was a breathing Buffy. She made her way to a barely identifiable Buffy covered in wounds and her blonde locks matted with blood, miraculously there were no punctures on her body, someone upstairs must really like her she thought as she checked for a pulse and breathing. Her pulse was weak but still there, what freaked Faith out the most is the fact that there was smile grazing Buffy's beat up features and she had a death grip on something in her hand. Faith quickly pulled out her cell phone dialed 911 as well as the rest of the Scoobies. She pulled Buffy's head into her lap stroking the face of her once enemy.

"Come B, you can't just leave me here like this, it's my job to leave and be stupid not yours," She laughed to herself, she changed a lot since the day she stormed into Buffy's life. "We are hot chicks with super powers B remember, we still have some major ass kicking to do plus we still have to teach Andrew a lesson he will never forget. You can't let me have all the fun right?"

"If I could move I would be rolling my eyes right now" Buffy grumbled and forced herself to breath as white lights burned the back of her eyelids as her body screamed in pain.

"Buffy! Are you ok? The ambulance is on the way."

"Yeah aside from being in blinding pain, I'm 5 by 5"

"Good cause pull another stunt like this and I'm gonna have to kick your ass. Hell if you weren't so dead looking I'd be kicking your ass all the back to California."

"Good to know you care so much Faith." Funny how even after being ripped to pieces by vampires she still can manage sarcasm with usual Buffy ease.

Faith knocked on the hospital room door, the rest of the Scoobies had gone home with Buffy's insistence that she would be find and that they all needed to get some sleep. Faith, as always, ignored her.

"Hey B, can I come in?" Buffy smiled and nodded.

"I should have known you wouldn't listen to me."

"Have I ever? Why break tradition right?" Faith smiled and took a seat next to Buffy's bed. "Can I ask you something?

"If it starts with How and ends with Are You Feeling then no."

"Nah, you feel like shit, why bother asking all I have to do is look at you."

"Thanks Faith, knew I could count on you for something, what do you want to ask me?"

"Why were you smiling when I found you? I mean you looked like death ran over you in a tractor, and yet you had this huge dopey smile on your face I haven't seen since I don't even know when."

"Angel, I saw Angel." Smiled at the conversation and the fact that he was watching over her.

"Uh, Buff I'd hate to break the bad news but you couldn't have seen Angel he's dead."

"I know he's dead Faith, why the hell do think I wanted to give up? When I fell unconscious he was there and we talked, he's my guardian Angel now, he kissed me and left and then you found me.

"Oh, by the way I need to give you something, it was in your hand when I found you, dude you would not let it go the guys in the ambulance had to pry the damn things from your grip." Faith dug in her pocket for a second and pulled out two pieces of jewelry, the first thing was something she could recognize even if she was blind. Her claddagh ring that Angel had given her on her 17th birthday, she ran her fingers over the smooth silver, her fingertips came into contact with something that wasn't there before. An inscription on the inside that read Always. Tears stung her eyes and that genuine dopey Buffy smile seemed to permanently glue itself onto her recovering face. The second object was new but earned a place in her heart next to the ring. A silver necklace with an elegant pair of angel wings studded with a diamond in each wing tip, inscribed with Forever on the back, Buffy quickly hung the necklace around her neck and the wings rested perfectly on top of her heart, always and forever that was the endless story of the Buffy and Angel relationship.

10 years later

Buffy felt like she was knee deep in dust and slayers one by one seemed to be dropping around her. She closed her eyes and gathered strength that she could no longer find in her own body. Her body gracefully killed demons and vampires effortlessly, Giles glanced over in awe of the woman his slayer turned out to be, she looked almost as if she was dancing as her sword swung cleanly through the air. Now in her early 30s, another improbable birthday would soon pass, Buffy was the one woman in this country that had no problem with the fact that she was getting older. He could still remember the feisty 16 year old girl that came to him in the Sunnydale High library all those years ago, she hasn't changed much, she still is feisty and stubborn but also wise beyond her years, he was proud to call himself her watcher and could not wait to show Buffy her birthday present that he and the Scoobies have been working on all year. The Buffy the Vampire Slayer chronicles, describing all of the struggles and amazing triumphs throughout her life, her story would never die if he had something to do with it, he would make sure every slayer knew why they had a choice and the story of the girl who gave them the option of walking away. He lifted his battle ax and sliced a vampire's head clean off covering him and his glasses in dust. He quickly cleaned them when he heard a thud next to him. Dread sunk into his pores as he forced himself to turn his head, bile threatened to rise up into his throat as he saw her vivacious eyes stone cold and her blonde hair sprawled out like a halo over her head. Once the battle had ended Giles walked over to his lifeless daughter and gently carried her frail body home.

The funeral was the worst experience in his life. Xander kneeled at the beautiful white silk casket and stroked the cold hand of his best friend. "Hey Buff, I promise I won't bring you back this time, say hi to Anya, your mom and dead boy up there for me kay? I promise I'll keep Dawnie in school and make sure she doesn't go all willy nilly on us. Me and Will have everything under control alright, so see you around, don't be a stranger got that? I'm gonna miss you but I have you right here" Xander placed his other hand over his heart, "You're my hero and always will be, I will never forget you, you're my best friend forever, don't you go getting any new ones ok?" Tears streamed down his face as he whispered goodbye to his best friend for the last time.

Willow comforted Xander with a hug but neither drew much comfort, just sadness knowing that the three of them will never be able to hang out and watching movies or stop the end of the world, depending on the week, ever again. Willow place a single photo of the three of the back from junior year of high school, the one they had used to try to persuade 18th century Buffy that she really was Buffy and that they were her friends. "Hey Buffy, you saved me so many more times then you will ever know, I don't know if I would have survived high school without you, you taught me so much that I will never forget. I don't know what I'm going to do without you," Willow fell to her knees as the river of tears streamed from her eyes. You mean the world to me and I am so sorry about hurting you in the past and I know you are happy now and that you will be with a certain brooding vampire we all love, I will see you on the other side eventually, don't cause to much trouble without us kay? I love you Buffy, goodbye for now." Willow whispered and clung to Xander as Giles walked up to say the last goodbye.

Giles walked up to the casket and kissed his golden haired slayer on the forehead. "Thank you Buffy, you were the best thing that happened to me and no matter how much I complained I would never change anything about the past. I am proud to say that I was apart of your life and I will miss you dearly my sweet girl. I loved you like my own daughter and you made me the proudest father on the face of this earth. Be happy, you deserve it more than anyone in the world. You will always be in my heart, goodbye Buffy," Giles choked down a sob but the tears would not stop, he laid a copy book that he and the Scoobies worked so hard on now with a sad and happy ending. Giles whispered the last sentence in the book that he had written as tears fell into the silky casket, "Heaven was missing an angel, now they get you back."

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